How it should be
by rizzlesshipper4ever
Summary: The title describes this story very much. Rizzles nearly all the way (ch3) along with cases. NO BEARDS in the TV-kind-of-way. SUMMARY SUCKS. If you are into Jane&Maura pairing give it a try. Visit my homepage for INFO'S and PIC'S along the story. UPDATE-Sat. Apparently I am in need of a new BETA. DM me...
1. Division One

Author's Note: Hey, so we apparently all NOT own Rizzoli & Isles. If they were mine, it would have gone this way. Just borrowed to have fun ;)

Maura's POV

I was down in the morgue bend over an autopsy table. I was closing up a dead body transferred from Massachusetts General Hospital as a knock at the door pulled my attention away. The door swung open and a lanky dark-haired woman entered. I heard an audible gasp from her lips and looked up to her face.

I would have recognized her prominent facial bones under a million people. Her mouth snapped open but there was no sound. She repeated it three times before I decided to speak. "May I help you?"

She stared at me and stuttered. "Um… yeah…I…I…Detective Jane Rizzoli…see…I'm so sorry for last time we met…ok let me do this again." She turned around and left. The door opened again after a knock and she walked in again.

"Hello, I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, Homicide. I want to apologise to you about my rudeness two weeks ago. I know it's not a good excuse but I didn't get much sleep the night before and I was stressed about my case."

She offered me a beautiful smile and I am caught so off guard I simply answer with 'You are welcome'. I pulled my gloves off and gave her a polite smile in return. "Dr. Maura Isles."

She offered me her hand but I only gazed at it and watched her facial expression shift. That smile left her face and she turned half towards the door before she looked at me again. "Maybe I can buy you lunch today as a new start."

I was lost for words and could only look at her.

"Um… okay. You… um… I will leave now. If you want to grab some lunch you can give me a call." She walked out again.

I don't know how long I stood there and how silly I must have looked but Mr. Foster didn't mind and apart from him I was alone. Somehow I managed to store the dead man into the cooling and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in my office.

I tried to gather myself. I really had no idea what was going on. Okaythat was theoretically a lie. I knew very well what was going on. It had never left my mind the two weeks before that day but on the other side it wasn't a lie. Two weeks ago from that day I caught myself vérifier* a woman.

Usually I did never mind to admire a well toned human body regardless whether male or female but back then that was a different kind of scenario. Well this woman was really rude and outrageous but she was also… handsome…sexy…hot. And this voice.

It is the human nature to response aroused toward a potential mating partner. What involves a strong bone and muscles structure, an impressive appearance and an appealing fragrance. In my case, as a female human being, this would be applicable toward a male and this is what had happen before. A woman, at least scientifically, was not really a potential mating partner for another woman.

Sexuality is fluid and this is exactly which I was in this moment. Fluid. This voice. Apart from her words was her voice what unleashed a rush of variously hormones in me and I was more as slightly sexual aroused. And that exactly confused me. I was always capable to admit when I thought a woman was beautiful but I never was attracted to one.

Yes I have to admit that if and only if I wasn't at work and more comfortable with other humans at all and if I was a little more impulsive I would have paid this beautiful creation for some hours of passion. Well blessedly I never proposed this impure overture.

I met minutes ago the prostitute who haunted me at night since our unpleasant encounter in the 'Division One Café' and it would have been more than humiliating for me since she was a detective undercover. So I accepted her invitation for lunch not as unselfish as it should have been. And we got along very well.

I am not the first choice for other people to make friends with. The last escape would be more truthfully but with Jane it was different. After our first lunch we ate as much together at work as we could. Jane was easy to like, she didn't jump on my social awkwardness. It was more the other way around. Jane is really protective when it comes to me. She doesn't know that I am aware off how often she defended my honour at the BPD.

The first time I really knew she cared for me was two weeks after our first lunch.

I was on my way towards the bullpen of Homicide before I could round the corner I accidentally overheard two men talking. "Yo Tompson heard the news?"

"You are talking about Rizzoli?"

"Yeah. Don't know why a sex-bomb would such a jerk let fuck her."

Until the next sentence I asked myself why Jane had lied to me about her relationship. I had asked her the day before and she told me that she was single. "Yeah me neither. But I think the Ice-bitch is just in need of a hard dick and a good fuck."

That was when I stopped walking. 'Ice-bitch' was one of my nicknames along with some others. While I tried to connect what I had heard their ribald conversation went on and I start walking again. Just as I rounded the corner I saw Jane with her back towards me.

"What's up ass-kisser? No balls to face me?"

"Rizzoli"

"Yeah, don't Rizzoli me," she had her hand up.

"I think it's time for apologising."

"Why?" one of them asked

"Why? Really?" Like a lightning she had a death grip on one of thems shirt.

"I give a shit what you talk about me, but the doc is out of limit."

"Yeah out of your limit, did you boozed up the queen to get her willed." The other Officer laughed. That was the first time I saw Jane punch someone.

"Fuck you Rizzoli."

"You wish. If I ever hear you talk about her like that again you end up on her table. Son of a bitch."

She shoved the head of the other Officer into the wall and walked up to her desk again. She didn't notice me standing in the hallway. From this day on every time someone was rude towards me or insulted me and she witnessed it I found little presents on my desk afterwards.

Often it would just be a Post-It with some nice words on it. Sometimes it was candy or a small stuffed animal. I don't know how many fights she pulled because of me and she never mentioned them but I know she had plenty. The worst one was in the gym. I treated her hands but she does not know I saw her fighting.

We had a rough week and I hadn't got the chance to run. So I went to the gym. While I was running I listened to the noises of my surrounding. I could hear the clinking of metal from the butterfly, the buzz of a skipping rope in the air and a steady _tap-tap-thud_ from the punching bag.

I heard the door and some low voices and laughter then it died again. The other sounds stayed. After a while the group of men came out of the locker rooms, I couldn't see but hear them.

It all started with a whistle, the derogatory one and an insult towards her. She stayed calm until one of the men insulted me. He illustrated in any shades of colours how he would show off his manhood to me. In a very disgusting way.

She had punched his face without gloves because of me. Because of defending my honour. Four hard punches against hard bones and her hands showed off a lot of damage. I treated her wounds down in the morgue without any word about what had happened. I never was an exponent of violence but I couldn't help myself to be turned on by her.

Two weeks after this incident Hoyt happened and if that wasn't already enough he happened again today. Three month after the first time.

Jane comes into the morgue. "I found carpet fibre on Gail Yeager's body. Lab is processing it,"I said while staring trough the microscope. She hands me a can of tuna salad. "Thanks," I smile at her.

She looks exhausted. "Hoyt didn't meet his apprentice in prison or medical school - all 80 classmates are clean." While she talks the door opens and Agent 'I-think-my-mystery-appearance-is-sexy-as-hell' Dean walks in. He gives us a puzzled look. "You guys eating cat food?"

Jane pushes her can under his nose. "Yeah, you want some?" He closed his eyes and shakes his head once. "No."

Jane turns towards me. "Guess it's a chick thing." I smile at her tone as she ask in a ghetto slang. "What's up?"

Dean has his hands down in his pockets and frowns "You may want to sit down."

"No. Tell me," her tone fakes desinteressts. "A few hours ago, uh…, Charles Hoyt escaped custody." The colour from Jane's face vanishes and she sits down on the table. She looks at me. "Oh, my God." I'm really worried now. Both of them leave together to watch the security video from the hospital.

I'm waiting for Agent Dean. He called me to bring some documents over. He is kind of odd and I wonder why he showed up at our crime scene in the first place. The doorbell rings. As I open the door I am thrilled about the sight on my threshold.

Jane. For the first time in my home. I smile at her. "Why do you always look like you're about to do a photo shoot?" I lead her into my kitchen and get her a glass of water. "Thank you."

I walk around the counter. "God, what is that?" Jane yells. "Shh. You'll scare him." She looks at bass as if he is an alien. "He's alive?" she asks.

"His name is Bass. Geochelone sulcata, African spurred tortoise. I've had him since he was like this big." I explain to her while I show her with my fingers how small bass was and pick up a strawberry. "He's partial to British strawberries." I crouch down and offer him his berry. "Bass? What, after an old boyfriend?" I look at her again. "William M. Bass, the forensic anthropologist who founded the famous body farm."

Right, yeah, that that Bass." "No, it's okay," I tell Bass.

"Yeah, he's a great pet. Really interactive, I'll bet," she snorted. I pet his shell. "Mm-hmm."

After I finish my wine I show her the way to my guest room downstairs. "So, how long can a person go without sleeping?" she asks me.

"Hallucinations begin by day four, followed by slurred speech, short attention span, and death."

"You're better than Wikipedia."

"Well, Wikipedia is frequently incorrect. Very little is rigorously peer-reviewed."

The doorbell rings again. Except from her anxious reaction I'm annoyed. _Why now?_ I ask myself. "Somebody's just dropping something off," I try to soothe her. I walk over to the door, take the papers from Agent Dean and try to get rid of him as fast as I can. I knock at the door and smile as the answers me 'Go away. I'm asleep.' I slide as close as I can into bed beside her.

"Are we having a sleepover, or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" She asked me smiling. _Yes this is my way of telling you that._ But I can't answer that so I laugh.

"So it was Dean you were expecting?" she asks me and I think my face tells how I am not so happy about that topic. "He wanted my opinion on another case." "What case?" "I can't say," I answer.

"Fine. Go sleep in your own room." _Only if you accompany me._

"Jane" There is a nice silence. I can smell her unique scent. Lavender, vanilla and Jane.

*checking out in Maura-language

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**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	2. Sleepover?

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**"Fine. Go sleep in your own room." Only if you accompany me.**_

_**"Jane" There is a nice silence. I can smell her unique scent. Lavender, vanilla and Jane.**_

There is a thud and a rumour outside the room. Jane sits up in the bed. She was really jumpy today. Maura's hand touches her right shoulder blade and she sits up too. She is jumpy but she's also aware about the reaction to the doctor's touch. She assures the detective that it's just Bass making those noises. Maura switches of the light and they lay in silent side by side.

Jane never denied that Maura was really sexy and it was her first thought at her first look, seconds before Maura had intended to pay for her coffee. However after a nice talk Jane was mesmerized by the quirky M.E.

After that she would fall for her more day by day until she realized that it was more than friendship, for her right from the beginning was something different. First Jane had tried to fight it off. She labelled her own feelings as misunderstanding. She has had never feelings for a woman. Not those kinds of feelings.

Some Cops called her gay, yay! She was 'badass Rizzoli', she had more balls as the most of them together. She didn't care if anyone called her gay or dyke and when falling for the most beautiful, most sensual, most intelligent, most elegant and most faithful soul on mother earth made her gay then it should be.

Jane grinned. She had somewhere in the past created her own word, if there was a label that fit her it would be "maurasexual". She talked not often and for sure reluctantly about her love life, especially to Maura. She was afraid to give away her secret and for nothing on earth she would risk their friendship.

Jane was at peace with her feelings for Maura, most of the time. She was madly in love with the silly and quirky doc and she enjoyed every minute of their togetherness. But sometimes it got her bad. Like now.

For sure Jane knows Dr. Maura Isles was a masterpiece of art and Jane would always be the adorer behind the rope, lifetime to admire but never in touch. Because of Maura Jane had wished for the first time in her life she were born upper class.

There was nothing to regret to be raised in the streets of South Boston. She had enjoyed most of her life, her parents were very kind, during her childhood there was a lot of love and care. There was always enough money for clothes, a warm home and a nice meal every day. Not more, who cares?

There was plenty of more than money. Every evening there was time for a board game, one day in week her father would spend time with only one of his kids, Jane's "Poptime" was Friday. One live Redsox game in a month for one kid and Pop, four games a year.

After family dinner on Sunday was time for Basketball in the driveway. Saturday was family–night with Disney movies and five-folks-cuddling-on-a-couch-for-three with hot chocolate and cookies.

There were holidays at Cape Ann and at "Rizzoli Empire", a large country house with plenty of woods and meadows, a cabin and a riding stable, only a few foots away from Lake Winnipesaukee. One time in every year would be the whole Rizzoli - Clan meet there, all generations in one house from all over the country.

Jane was proud, no way to deny. She was a blue collar-Italian-Southiekid, she was according to an IQ test gifted (149 points uh huh!), she was during High-school one of the best aggressor and goalie in field-hockey, her Nonna had taught her to play the piano and to sing, she was truly gifted with a soul for music, she had made it through the tough admission exam from BCU, the police academy and had achieved full points through both exams, Officer and Detective.

She is fluent in Italian and Spanish. She knew more French than she would ever admit, 'cause Italian and French are related languages. She knew also to use "Mr. Adverb " in the right way. But who cares anyway? Jane Rizzoli was no one to brag.

Detective Jane Clementine Rizzoli is a Southie and Southiekids are potty mouths, e basta! She is loud, wild, untamed, stubborn, wayward and eccentric. She is and will always be "Hurricane Rizzoli", the Italian-tomboyish-thunderstorm that rampages through a interrogation room and will leave nothing but devastation. But because of Maura Jane had wished for the first time in her live she was more than that.

Looking over at Maura, with just the streetlights outside brighten the room, Jane studied her expression. It appeared that she was sleeping. Even in her sleep Maura was composed. Lying on her back, her arms folded neatly across her stomach.

Jane suddenly itched to feel the silky texture of her shirt. Moving lightly, as to not wake Maura, Jane turned on her side to face her. Hesitantly, Jane reached up, running her hand slowly down Maura's arm. The touch was feathery, she didn't want to wake Maura and has to explain her actions.

Allowing her hand to wander back up Maura's arm, Jane tucked a stray piece of hair out of her face, behind her ears. "Damn Maura." Jane whispered. "Why did I have to fall in love with you of all people?" Knowing it was wrong, but for once in her life she had to voice those words and now she was bold enough. Jane lifted herself above the doctor, leaning down to kiss her lips softly. They were tender and tasted sweet beneath Jane's lips and the detective sighed sadly. She would probably never get to taste them again.

Lying back down at her best friend's side, Jane fell asleep, the only thing in her mind; Maura. The moment Maura sensed that Jane was asleep, her hand flew to her lips. It was true that Maura had drifted off for a while, but she had been fully awake as Jane's hand had traced patterns on her arm, heard her whispered confession, and felt the soft press of her lips against her own. Turning her head to look at Jane, Maura bit her lip.

Of course, she had contemplated what it would be like to "be" with Jane, but had never considered the real possibility of it. The desire that first place Jane and then Maura herself had ignited was strong and it threatened to invade her.

How badly would she… Looking over at Jane, her only friend in her entire life, her best friend and the woman she loved. Always had been in love with her. Those touches, those glances, even their banter about her clothes and her googlemouth… Maura loved all of it.

With one last glance at Jane beside her, Maura knew that Jane would never do anything to harm their friendship. Maura was going to be the one to make the first move. Carefully spooning Jane, her arm around the Detective's waist, closing her eyes, Maura fell asleep, planning.

The next morning Maura woke up first, being accustomed to waking up at six every morning. Her heartbeat was increased, the feelings of her dream pounding wildly under her skin. She was so impatient to start her "mission deviously".

Maura knew she had tons of time before Jane would be up. Normally, she would shower and dress, before making herself a healthy breakfast. Today however, Maura decided to wait to shower and dress.

Despite the fact, that what Maura planned to do was slightly cruel, Maura couldn't lie to her self. It was going to be fun teasing Jane. When there was one thing that Maura was the master of, it was the art of seduction. She went through her walk-in closet to her yoga room. For about an hour Maura stretched and worked away all the kinks that had built up from sleeping.

Once she was all good and warmed up she checked on Jane. The Detective was still asleep. "Oh Jane." Maura shook her head, grabbing a towel and went to take a shower. If she lingered in there for an extra ten minutes she would be coming out the moment Jane woke up. And Maura did just that.

Emerging from the bathroom, wet hair clinging to her face, water droplets running down her legs, and a small towel wrapped around her slender form that barely covered what it was supposed to. The Cop rubbed her eyes, biting back a groan. Surely she has to be dreaming. "Morning Jane." Maura said curtly, walking along the bed to get to her closet.

She made sure to swing her hips a little bit more than normal. "Uh…" Jane coughed. "Morning" Her voice was huskier than normal and Jane blamed it on just waking up.

"You're welcome to take a shower if you'd like." Maura called from the door. "Come upstairs when you are ready, I'm sure we find some clothes for you."

"Okay sure." Jane nodded, sliding out of the bed. "Thanks." She headed into the bathroom. After showering Jane made her way upstairs and decided for the half closed slide-door to be Maura's bedroom.

She knocks and she cast a glance directly into the doctor's closet. Theoretically it was unavoidable not to watch as the closet was vis á vis with the door. what Jane saw made an instant burn ache between her legs. The door was only partially closed and Maura was standing right behind the visible part. Her back to Jane, the towel an the floor around her feet, clad in only a skimpy pair of black, lace panties, the most sinful pair of panties and a matching bra.

Jane stood motionless, her gaze frozen at Maura who was bending over and was shaking out her hair. As she saw the M.E. starting to turn around Jane cleared her throat. Maura grinned, putting the rest of her clothes on. Despite what Jane thought, Maura was not as innocent as she appeared to be.

"Come in," the blonde piped up. Trying to get the image of Maura's curvy, barely covered body out of her mind wasn't working. _Jesus Rizzoli what's up? This isn't knew you've seen her before in the gym._ You've dreamed about her before. _Oh shut up, don't go there. Shoot. Now you're one of those grim men, congrats. Come on Maura get out of my head. Think something sweet like puppies. Fuck isn't working._

At work they ended up with Jane being pissed about Maura's involvement with Dean and his mysterious case and Jane storming off to introduce the 'fed-ass' to the 'bad-ass'.

While Jane was at the meeting with Agent Dean and the Senator, Maura was called to the detective's apartment. What a mess.

As there was not so much to do for the medical examiner she called her friend to tell her about the ransacked and wrecked place. She waited for her, unsuccessfully. After several calls ending up directly to her voice mail she detected her abandoned car outside and she unleashed the hell.

And she walked through the same.

The relieving phone call from Detective Korsak came nearly two hours later. As Jane opens her door and the state of her place bite her she slides down the wood. All she wishes now was a couch, a blanket, a hot cacao, a Disney movie and Maura to cuddle.

As if on cue the M.E. appeared in her doorframe right after Jo Friday carrying a terrarium with a little tortoise. As she bent down to look at the tiny creature she named it in her head as Watson. Doctor and Detective united in one person. She dumps Maura's offer to help her cleaning up and invite her to a bar instead.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. Need a beta-reader, pls pm me ;)

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	3. Now or never

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**As if on cue the M.E. appeared in her doorframe right after Jo Friday carrying a terrarium with a little tortoise. As she bent down to look at the tiny creature she named it in her head as Watson. Doctor and Detective united in one person. She dumps Maura's offer to help her cleaning up and invite her to a bar instead.**_

Maura offered Jane to crash down with her. So after two Cosmos for Maura and two beers for Jane they end up on the couch in Beacon Hill and talked for a while about the last few days.

After some moments of silence the doctor speaks up. "There is an open bottle of white wine, do you like some?"

"I think I would drown isopropyl alcohol tonight." Maura smiles and tries to get up.

"I get it," the detective says and pad the M.E.'s knee. As she opens the fridge to search for the bottle she can feel a hand between her shoulder blades.

"Jane?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for open up to me." Maura's voice barely a whisper right beside Jane's ear, her fingers at the back of the Cop's neck. Goose bumps crawls over the detective's skin as she senses the nails of her friend on her hairline.

She swallows hard. One second, two seconds, three seconds, there is still this soft scrape on her skin. _Now or never Rizzoli!_

Jane is up like lightning and her eyes met Maura's instantly, her hands on the other woman's cheekbones and then there is a millisecond of hesitation before their lips touch, nothing more. Both of them remain motionless for some moments and then Maura starts to move her lips and this touch convert to a sensual kiss.

The doctors hand on the back of Jane's neck. They kiss softly and sweetly, gently and lovingly, on and on. Without breaking their kiss the M.E. was suddenly sitting on her kitchen counter, her legs loosely around Jane's waist. The detective's hands on the side of Maura's knees.

"Maura," she whispers. The top of her skull slightly press against the M.E.'s collarbone. "I have to apologize to you. I shouldn't have kissed you without permission."

The doctor's fingers cupping Jane's jaw, her thumps stroke over the detective's cheeks and she forces the Italian to look at her. Just before their lips meet again Jane's voice sounds in a whisper.

"God. Maura you're shivering. That's not what I intended. No. That's not true. There was nothing more that I dreamed of than to kiss you but I didn't intend to force you. I have to apol…" Maura locks their gaze.

"I heard you last night and I've been waiting since then, to kiss you again." The medical examiner pulls Jane closer with her legs and amplify her clutch on the woman in front of her. The next kiss is not less tender but more intense and would be hold on up to ten minutes.

Somewhere in between Maura fumbles Jane's shirt from her pants and her hands sneaks to the small of the detective's back.

"Maura" Jane sucks in a deep breath. "I can't do this to myself." The doctor scoots upwards until her hands were on each one of the Cop's shoulder blades.

"Do you really think I will ever let you leave again? Did you actually have a clue for how long I've dreamed of kissing you, to touch you, to feel you? I know my reputation precedes me, but you know I'm not a black widow and also not a mantis. I would never…"

"Hey, hey. Stop" This time it was Jane's turn to kiss the other woman. Her finger's caresses those cute ears of the blonde.

"Do you have any idea what you are getting into?" There was another soft kiss. "I'm cranky and," another kiss. "Stubborn and," another kiss. "Noisy and," another kiss.

"Keyed up and," another kiss. "Embarrassing and," another kiss. "I can be really, really jealous and," another kiss.

"I'm a Rizzoli, what would have explained all of the traits in one word and I've already one foot in the grave on a daily base." Maura's tongue asks for admission and after a long and languid kiss it was the doctor's turn to talk.

"When I look at you, I see a loving, loyal, warm-hearted, caring, brave, courageous, strong, sensitive and sensual beauty who liked to sell herself less under her value. I'm so, so in love with you and I don't care what someone think of you, what they call you, of where you come from, how much money do you earn or what you do for a living. It's exactly the other way around. All of this is you and that's all I need. We have danced along each other for too much of time. I love you, I need you and I want you. Only you and I am not intent to let you take this away from me."

Jane swallows hard. "Wow. I'm kinda in a hot seat right now." Jane laughed shyly. "How shall I surpass…"

Maura's index finger press flat on Jane's lips. "Do not even try it. Do you have an idea how many times in my entire life men have told me how beautiful I am, how smart I am, how much they desire me. There is no need for words right now. All I need to know is that you will stand my ground and that we will always fight for this no matter what." Jane smiled softly.

"Detective Rizzoli prepared to man up for you. Is there included that I'm not allowed to tell you how beautiful I thing you are or how super sexy smart I think my geeky doctor is?" She smirked.

"'Cause in this case I will prefer my crappy little apartment and my unfulfilled daydreams about my quirky best friend to stand the chance that I'll be allowed to say what is need to be said. So, Dr. Isles time is running it's all about you." She gazes to her watch and smirked steady.

"You are aware of the fact that no one should rush into such important decisions? I know there was one of your bad behaviors missing, your impatience."

"Jeez Doc, got some balls today and I might have detected that your hormones elicit your sarcasm." Maura beams. "Learned from the best"

They giggle both in their tight embrace and go back to more kisses. Maura's hands slide back under the detective's shirt and she shivers. "You're the only one that causes me goose bumps with a touch." Their next kiss is slow and tender at first, this time it is Jane who slips her tongue between Maura's slightly parted lips. An audible sigh escapes the doctor as the kiss intensifies and her fingertips brushes the soft skin of the detective's back up and down. Jane toys with those beautiful blond locks. Maura uses her legs and arms to pull Jane as close as much.

A slightly noticeable twitch in Jane's stomach against Maura's center causes her to moan. The detective breaks their kiss and starts to peck the doctor's chin, her jaw line and her ear. "I love you" The whisper sent a shiver through the M.E.'s entire body and as Jane kisses and softly sucks below her ear all of her feelings are sky-rocking.

Her head is spinning, her skin prickles and anything on her body is standing at attention. Jane's kiss travels in slow motion down her neck and to her shoulder, from collarbone to collarbone to the other shoulder, upward her neck and back to her lips. "Touch me," Maura whispers against the other woman's lips. Jane's hands loosen that golden hair, her wrists rest on shoulders and fingertips caress the skin at the doctor's neck.

As Jane's lips meet her weak spot below her ear again she reaches for both of the detective's hands and places them on her breasts and guiding them with her own. Jane's palms are pressing flat to Maura who shoves them gently up and down. Then Jane notice fingers fumbling at her shirt buttons. One after another lose the battle against those small, skilled digits.

Finally open, fingertips tickles over her chest, her shoulders and slowly pulls off her shirt. Their kiss is deep and slowly and pure love, Maura's fingertips misses not an inch on Jane's skin. She slides her arms around the detective's neck and whispers beside her ear "Take me upstairs, please."

Jane places her hands on Maura's butt and lifts her up, without breaking the kiss she pad trough the kitchen into the hallway and turns to the right. And there they stop. Maura's back against the wall to the kitchen, they kiss and touch and stroke.

Maura fumbles open the buckle on Jane's belt and unbolt the button. Next stop is on top of the stairway, this time Maura's back touches the opposite wall and she unzips the detective's slacks and sending them downwards. Kiss still unbroken Jane steps with her left foot on her pants and pulls her right leg free, as she begin to move again she kicks them away.

Maura's dress is up to her hips but she is still fully clothed. Jane's strong hands spread across her naked skin on her butt. Only one door and eighteen feed away from her destination. Jane in her bed, finally.

The detective uses her right elbow to push down the door handle and Maura's back touches the wood. From there in the threshold it is yet fourteen-two feet. Then she is gently lowered onto the bed and Jane on her knees above her, their kiss still unbroken. Maura slide her hands over Jane's belly and pulls Jane with her legs on top of her.

"Did I ever tell you how sexy your abdominal musculature is?"

The detective grins against the doctor's lips. "Is that 'Dr. Isles version' of dirty talk?"

Maura brushes her nose against Jane's. "Try to disclose that secret." She liftes the doctor again and slide them upward the mattress.

The naked skin of her belly touches the M.E. between her legs and Maura take a deep breath, held it for a few seconds and moans soft against Jane's neck.

Jane's breath hitches and Maura's nails continue to scrape gently over the skin on her back. The doctor's nose stroke along the neck and she enjoys and drowns Jane's smell. The intoxicating mixture from a scent of lavender from her body wash, the scent of vanilla from her shampoo and Jane. Jane pure. Jane pure, without the smallest gab between them.

Their lips meet again for a very long and mind-blowing kiss that ends with some longer pecks and Jane's bottom lip between Maura's teeth. Without the slightest pressure she pulls and releases it slowly. "I would like to feel your skin against mine." She whispers husky. The detective simple smiles as her permission.

Maura unclasps Jane's bra and drops it beside her bed. Jane lifts herself on her knees again and whispers. "Turn around." And the doctor slowly faces the mattress. Jane's hands spreads over Maura's calves and caress every single piece of skin again in nearly slow motion, the same attention she pays to Maura's tights and then her fingertips drive upwards along the doctor's sides until she reaches the upper hem of the dress.

She unzips it in the same speed like her strokes before. Every inch of skin is greeted with a small and tender kiss. Once the zipper is in his final position she lifts up both of their bodies, both on their knees, their shins flat on the mattress, Maura's legs between Jane's and back against front.

The detective presses her palms flat on the doctor's tights and drive slowly upwards under the dress which lifts self acting trough the motion. Maura's arms go straight up in the air and her garment is gone. She smiles as Jane carefully and neatly put it to the outer edge of her bed. She disrobes her bra meanwhile by herself and toss it into the room.

Maura let her head fall back to the detective's right shoulder and her arms loops backwards around the neck, her fingers in Jane's hair. Warm, soft and strong hands ghosting over the doctor's belly in the meantime tender lips are kissing and caressing her neck, shoulder and collarbone. Jane's fingertips slide up slowly over the sides and along arms. Maura's breath increases every second a bit. Slender fingers closing around perfectly hands and massage them gentle. The graceful M.E tries to press her body even closer to the detective.

Jane's fingertips travel carefully downwards the same way. Arms, shoulders, sides, belly. She press her hands flat on the body in front of her and cup tenderly Maura's naked breasts for the first time. As her scars slide over the erect buds the doctor breath hiss and exhales moaning.

"When I was in junior high my nonna took me to Italy, I can't quite remember where it was, but it was in one of some museums we visited, there was a picture from a young woman. It was the first and the last time until I met you that I adored a female body. This girl was so angel-like, so perfect, so flawless. A goddess in oil on canvas. A masterpiece of art. How did you manage to alight from this painting?"

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	4. Naughty Dr Isles?

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**"When I was in junior high my nonna took me to Italy, I can't quite remember where it was, but it was in one of some museums we visited, there was a picture from a young woman. It was the first and the last time until I met you that I adored a female body. This girl was so angel-like, so perfect, so flawless. A goddess in oil on canvas. A masterpiece of art. How did you manage to alight from this painting?"**_

Maura's entire body tingles. She turns her lips to Jane's ear and whispers husky. "I knew I was fallen for you after the first time we met for lunch and I'm still falling." Jane smile and kiss Maura.

"I will never be able to get enough from you. You're so profound and the most mysterious human being I've ever met. I think I will never reach down to the bottom of you," the Italian whispers back.

The doctor lowers herself to the mattress face first on her elbows, arching back and her butt still in the air. Jane follows, hovers over her, kissing her neck and shoulders. Her tongue slides oh so slowly down the doctor's spine and kissing the same way back upwards. She sucks softly at the skin behind Maura's ear and drives the small M.E. nearly crazy.

She caress Maura's whole backside with her lips and hands, each time she comes near her hips the doctor shivers slightly. Jane ghosts her nails gently and slowly down over the skin as she made her way up again, first her kisses and then her own skin follows her fingers until both of their bodies touches in all possible places. "So, so pretty." Jane whispers and kisses her ear.

Maura stumbles over Jane's word. Never anyone had called her pretty. Beautiful, sexy yes but never pretty. Dr. Isles was moaning softly and the detective takes up her torture again.

This time she first sucks tenderly and then kisses every vertebra down the slender and toned back. Shiver's one after another running down Maura's spine. Jane slides her flat palm over the buttocks and just below the hem of the doctor's panties she started again with her kisses and caresses. Maura's head fell between her arms and she moans.

"Jane… just…, just take them off already, please." There is no second thought about begging.

As a matter of fact she was proud, way too proud to beg for something and she would rather had have died than beg in bed with one of her toy boy's. But this here was for sure written on another page. This was Jane and she was willing to do the full mount if that was which it needed. This was Jane and she was madly in love with Italian tomboy. A single look at the detective was able to ruin her panties and all she had done was kissing and caressing.

All alone her imagination was driving her wild.

"Please."

Jane kiss the small of her back and slide her fingers along the hem of the lacy nothing. Slowly it makes the way down her legs and the detective's thought wanders back to the morning as Maura had left the door open obviously for Jane's amusement. As the fabric reaches the ankles the small blonde kicks them forceful away.

Jane giggles at the foreign side of her friend. "Naughty, Dr. Isles! I was sure you would have more patience than that."

Maura moans. Jane was using her own words. Normally it was the detective that was the master of impatience. She turns her head and glances over her shoulder, slowly her legs part a little wider.

"Maybe. There is only one thing on my mind just now and that is you. You with your soft lips and your gentle hands and all about I can think is how you will feel inside me."

_Holy fuck_ is all words Jane can form inside her head. There is the well-behaved Dr. Maura Isles on her knees in front of her, naked and asking for her touch. She knows this posture is called "Garbahasana" or child's pose and she will never be able to do yoga without this picture in her head again.

The detective is for a moment turned into a pillar of salt. A moan from the M.E and a glance in those sultry eyes bring her back onto the page.

Her hips press against Maura's butt as she leans down on the bare body and her hand roams over the doctor's front. Kissing the pale neck and as she rises again she bring the M.E.'s body up to their former position. Another shiver is running down Maura's spine.

The feeling from Jane so pure on her skin is driving her out of her mind, it is incredible intense and totally confusing. On one hand she wants nothing more than Jane on and in her, to get rid of this unbearable sexual tension and on the other hand all she wished for is that this here would never end.

She feel lips at her neck and fingertips on her front. Jane is drawing slowly pattern over the belly, upwards her sides to her shoulders and the same way back. Nearly in slow-motion she slides higher and touchs the underside of Maura's breasts, moves from there along the shapes to the outside and over the swells. She spread her palms on the skin and this time she drives over the breasts. As her scars meet hard buds, the doctor's entire body twitches once.

Science must definite be wrong. Maura is about to take an oat that her pulse has reach a million beats per minute and her body temperature feels like thousand degrees. Her breath is incredible increase and she realizes that if she has to take this much longer she will either come or pass out.

"Jane." She moans slowly as the detective's scars once more hit her buds.

"Jane, please. I don't know… how long I can stand this even more" Her body jerks.

"If you don't stop I will …" Before the words can pass her lips she is over the edge. She moans loudly and her whole body shivers, twitches, trembles. There is no way of proper breathing and she hums Jane's name between long and heavy moans.

"I'm stunned…, flabbergasted…, lightly embarrassed and speechless."

The detective chuckles. "Pretty much words to be left speechless, flabbergasted?"

Maura giggles.

"Why are you embarrassed?"

Maura shifts her face still hiding in the curtain of Jane's hair. "This has never happened to me before and I'm slightly in some state of shock. This leads me to the issue if you will have constantly such an effect on me and how will I ever be able actually to sleep with you."

Jane smiles simply. "Far too many cogitations for those beautiful mind of yours. I'm pretty sure that this was just a concatenation of circumstances, just a lucky punch." Jane is holding her close and whispers sweet nothings and kissing her neck, jaw and ear. As the detective senses that the woman in front of her is about to calm down she takes up her motions again.

Her hands make their way downwards and caress the sides of Maura's hips, her tights, her butt, her belly. As her left hand come closer to the doctor's center they are captured by another pair and moving back to the belly, there is a whisper at her ear.

"Give me some more minutes or it will not be at least, and if I can not hold on how will I be able to defend my honour." She breathes hard straight in Jane's ear and causes a shiver. "I prefer to enjoy all about you as much as I can." They intertwine their fingers on Maura's belly and kiss sensually several minutes soft and slow.

Without breaking the kiss the doctor's hand begin sliding in opposed directions, her left downwards and her right to her left breasts. She let go of Jane's and her own close around their heads and her fingers grip into thick black locks. The detective cups Maura's breast and her thumb strokes the peak bud, the other hand ghosting slightly over the skin of inner tights.

The first touch of two slender fingers causes the M.E to hiss and her body arching into the touch. She is biting softly Jane's lower lip and pulls her in a fierce kiss. The Italian caresses in awe careful through the rising wetness. Her head isn't fully wrapped around the fact that it is really Maura in her arms. She has already multiple times shoved her second thoughts aside.

Sometimes her inner voice is screaming so loudly that it is inappropriate to pretend to touch her best friend this way.

She keeps going to repeat that anything is fine, that Maura's feelings are mutual, that she is in love with her as well, that she is allowed to be here, that she is permitted to do what was happening. She was so habituated to push her feelings and wishes aside that it is hard to believe that this wasn't a dream. A louder moan and a whisper bring her back from her inner monologue.

"I would like to feel you inside me."

Jane is biting violently her own lower lip. _God. If this is a fucking dream I would rather die than wake up._ As she caresses closer to Maura's opening the blonde whimpers and jerks.

"God Maura you're killing me."

Her tongue is sliding over the doctor's lower lip. Maura chortles. She looses her right hand, sliding it between her bodies and scoots downwards.

"I haven't even touched you, yet." Both of them hiss as the M.E. reach her destination. And another whisper, this time deep and husky and seductive. "God I'm flattered. I didn't even admit myself to think that your body reacts like mine to yours." She moans vocally as Jane's fingertips entering her.

"You have no idea how often you force me to take a cold shower and to change my underwear."

Jane press into her touch. "I might have a hazy idea about that."

The detective need not much pressure to slip her digits slowly fully inside but she stops dead as Maura's next tone sounds like a sob.

"I'm sorry it wasn't my intention to hurt you."

The doctor moves her hips. "You didn't hurt me, not at all."

Maura starts kissing along the jaw line and sucks at Jane's earlobe. Her fingers pretend to move in a steady slow pace. "May…"

The detective rubs her jaw against the M.E.'s face. "You don't have to ask."

With this permission she slips gently two fingers as well for the first time into Jane. They are moaning both and this time the doctor has to bite her lower lip. The black- haired woman pulls neatly out and at her way back inside she whispers.

"Gee Maura, you're so tight." The M.E. takes a deep breath.

"Yoga is quite useful and this position plays a part in contributing to…" She looks in astonishment at Jane. "What did you just say?" She wasn't quite sure if she had heard right during her rambling.

Jane grinned. "So all I need to shut you up is using dirty talk?" Her mouth scoots closer and she whispers. "I said…"

She breathes hot against the blonde's ear. "You're so wet…" She repeats the sentence like the first time in a very deep and rasped grumble. "And that I can't wait to taste you."

Maura's whole body is suddenly in movement and if she weren't already aroused beyond all measures this was a good time to be.

"God…" She hisses. "I'm kind … kind of glad… that I didn't have a clue… that you're anything but prude…" She moves her hips in assonance to Jane's fingers. "I might have never been able to find sleep." Her head lolls back to the detectives shoulder and she nips tender the skin at the neck.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. Need a beta-reader, pls pm me ;)

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	5. Nearly dying to say that

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**"God…" She hisses. "I'm kind … kind of glad… that I didn't have a clue… that you're anything but prude…" She moves her hips in assonance to Jane's fingers. "I might have never been able to find sleep." Her head lolls back to the detectives shoulder and she nips tender the skin at the neck.**_

Now it was time for Jane to bring out the big guns.

One Saturday five years ago she was off duty and ill. Her mother had brought her soup and had half the day 'my-poor-baby-works-too-hard-and-how-will-you-ever-care-for-a-family-if-you-even-deosen't-look-after-yourself' over her.

She was bored as hell and TV was just a pain in the ass. So she had snooped around and found some fitness magazines her mother had taken from Frankie for Jane to read.

Almost more bored she was about to throw the magazine away as she detected a story that caused her attention.

It was kind of guide for men how to do 'IT' right. Written by a lesbian. First she laughed full hearted over it but then she was curious.

The first report was about how to oral pleasure a woman in the right way and it seemed to be a steady column, so she searched and had read all of them. After that she bought the monthly magazine constant.

Not that she thought she would ever going to use it but she was slightly surprised how faintly she knew about her own body and quite shocked that it seemed to be more than just a race to get off as fast as possibly.

She was never a hug fan of sex, yeah it seemed to be necessary at some times but it was never a big thing. The detective spread her thumb away and ghost barely over the blonde's clit.

"Oh my! Jane" her voice is rare and deep and more like a rumble. Her face is pressing against the crook of the other woman's neck. After five more slowly strokes Jane curls her fingers against the front wall and Maura climaxes on the spot.

It is like the first time tonight, it feels like she is about to implode, her body is out of control but this time she is really vocal.

Jane slows her motions nearly down but keep going on. The doctor's nails of her left hand dug into the skin of the Italian's neck, she pants and moans straight into the ear that is in front of her lips. She slowly rides her orgasm over every wave that is shooting through her body and as she cries out Jane's name the detective comes hot on her heels.

It is like a domino-effect. Maura's sounds and response pushes Jane over the edge and her orgasm sends the doctor again sky-rocket into the next climax.

"God…" Is all she can get out, her whole body trembles, shivers, shatters, shakes and jerks. Her eyes are closed and Jane is holding her soft against her own body. There is no way for Maura to get herself under control and at the moment she doubts that this will ever come to an end.

Her sense of time is on a holiday-trip altogether with her brain and her body-control. There are a lot of common phrases that would make sense right now. Jane rocks her tenderly, kissing her the crook of her neck.

Maura is hiding her face deeper in those thick dark locks. "Oh my god… I have no idea how you did this."

Maura snuggles closer to Jane's body. Both slowly pulling their fingers out and the doctor's nails went to claw at the Italian's right buttock. As some of the M.E.'s body parts decide to cut their getaway short she feels languid and all of her muscles are sore but she is verily satisfied. As she can't hold her upright position any longer she let go of the detective and crashes face first onto her mattress.

She turns her head and sighs heavy. "God… Jesus… and I don't know who else…"

She grabs Jane's hand and pulls her down. "I'm sorry but it was unbearable to stay like this. "Holy…" She moans.

"Yeah! Holy fuck! Quite my thought." Jane breathes.

Maura's arm is trapping over her eyes. "I'm sure that there are a lot of reasons to deny that these two words go along with each other but it was indeed…"

The doctor turns around, ending up half on top of Jane and whispers the next words as if someone was about to eavesdrop. "Quite a holy fuck even trough if I get it right, fucking is more action and less love and it seems I prefer lately more love and less action."

Jane stares at Maura's face with an amused grin on her lips. "Did you just really swear two times and add sarcasm in nearly two sentences?"

Maura grins back. "Kind of, yes." Jane eyebrow raise. "It seems you spent too much time with me and I'm starting to rub off at you."

Now Maura's grin grows even more. "I was kind of hoping that it would be much more time in the future and I pray for it, that it is not the only thing of you that will rub at me."

"Maura! Another one of this and you can write down cardiac infarction as my cause of death."

The doctor gripes Jane's face with both of her hands and kiss her firmly. "That was amazing you are quite gorgeous. I love you." They kiss again.

"And I love you and I'm kinda shocked for the rest of my live, maybe more embarrassed?"

This time it was Maura who lifts her eyebrows. Jane snorts.

"Mhhh… kinda… first of all I thought I would have a kind of more self control and never expected to react in such a manner and second off I have never, never made some noises than that." Jane closes her eyes and takes a long breath.

Maura caresses her face. "Me neither, I'm deadly quite in bed."

Jane giggles. "That I doubted a little."

Maura chuckles. "I'm serious, Jane. Do you detect any hives? Maybe I've enjoyed sex before but I'm way too proud to let someone take control of me. I'm always the one in charge but I must admit that it was quite voluptuous, more sensual and relishes that I thought it would be. I'm about to confess that I would unhesitatingly give up control to you. In my imagination and the most of my dreams about you I was always the one at your mercy but I never thought it would be that easy to let go of my bonds. And I don't get your first expression."

Jane chuckles. "Wow that was quite a lot to process. First of all out of respect for you I would never try to repress you. Respect and veneration and love it's what I feel for you. I adore you for what you are and I'm not going to change that. And to your question, I felt slightly like a school boy, prurient and drooling all over you."

Maura giggles. "I have that a little of different in memory. If I remind it properly I was the one that leads yours hands down in the kitchen and I lead them in here also. Even if I call the guns…"

Jane giggles loud. "Shots, honey. I call the shots."

"Okay. Even if I call the shots as a rule there was never anyone that showed me half of your respect. Nobody had interests in my well-being, my salvation, my life, my dreams and my future. The only thing they desired was my body and their interests are reduced to how fast they can get me out of my clothes and themselves inside me. Not that I complain, I was most of the times completely fine with that, until I met you. Please don't sell yourself low. I adore you as well and I adore the way you tread me. I'm sure we will get well along with this part of our relationship. All we need is trust, love and the courage to talk about it. So don't be shy in the wrong place, if I don't like something you will know it. Don't bond yourself, please."

Maura straddles Jane and ghosts her hands over Jane's chest. The detective sits up and scoots back till her back touch the head board and she use it for support. Maura starts covering Jane's chest with little pecks of her lips and her tongue darts out to lick the skin on the detective's neck.

"I really admire your body, you know it is much more perfect than mine. Your musculus sternocleidomastoideus for example is quiet remarkable. It is a dicephalous muscle, the caput laterale. It source is located at the top and front area of the medial third from clavicula, your clavicle or collarbone."

She licks at the described area.

"From there it's fleshy and tendinous fibers run almost vertically upwards."

Her tongue draw the line upward her neck.

"Caput mediale arises from the anterior surface of the manubrium sterni of the sternum. The manubrium sterni is the most cranial location and widest part of the sternum. It's called the hilt. It forms an articulated joint with the collarbone, the so-called sternoclavicular joint. From there, its fibers run cranially, laterally and dorsally. Cranial direction means 'towards the head' or 'upward' oriented."

She licks upwards her neck.

"Laterally explains itself."

Her tongue trace away from the center of her body.

"Dorsally is spinal oriented, also to your dorsum, your remarkable back."

She slide slowly over her shoulder as far as she can go without moving.

"The origins of muscle heads are separated by a triangular gap, fossa jugularis sterni your jugular notch."

Maura dip her tongue in Jane's prominent triangle below her throat and kiss it gentle a few times.

"If I had have you as my anatomical model I might have been done earlier with my study." Maura smiles and kisses the lanky black-haired woman on her lips.

"I'm kinda doubt that." Jane answers. "I can be quite consuming."

She pulls the blonde doctor at eye level and their next kiss heats up really fast to a fiercer and more passionate one. The detective flips them softly over and her lips traces slowly down Maura's body.

As she reaches the doctor's hips she slides her arms beneath the M.E.'s tights and their fingers intertwine. Maura close her eyes firmly. She is afraid to climax again simply from the sight of Jane between her legs.

The blonde is beyond turned on from the down track of those soft lips and the gentle tongue. Each kiss that is getting closer to her center sends a jolt of hormones through her veins and goose bumps all over her skin.

The first touch between her clit and Jane is quite an impact. Maura's hips jerking up in the air, her back arching and while a loud moan slips through her teeth she squeezes the detective's hands hard. She has no idea how her inexperienced friend is performing such a pleasure but it would last not much longer than before.

Once more Jane can use her read up skills and basing on Maura's sounds she is doing it quite right. Jane has stiffs her tongue and instead of moving it, she brings her head up and down in a nodding motion. With each flow a deep moan falls from Maura's lips.

"Jane," she whispers shivering. The blonde moves her hips in rhythm with the tongue between her legs, her own hands firmly pressing flat onto the detective's skin and sliding steady from her neck to her shoulders and back again.

Maura pushes her hips higher and Jane slips her tongue nearly painful slowly inside, which cause the doctor to clutching her nails into Jane's skin and gasping for air. Maura's breathes increases with each stroke.

"Jane" her voice is raspy and deep. Her head is pressing into the cushions. The detective slides out and close her lips around the sensitive nub. She sucks slightly and presses her tongue a little harder down to it.

"Jesus…" Maura hisses and Jane grins subtle. For being an atheistic the petite doctor seems to use quite often church related words. The next one is even funnier as all of them together. As she enters the M.E once more with her tongue, Jane nearly swallowed up at her own saliva.

"Holy Mary, Mother of God."

Jane stops for a moment. "Don't ever let my mother hear those words."

She places her tongue over the clit again and continues her former motions.

"Looks like… this is …my fault, now." Her voice shivers. "It's your choice… get used to… it… or stop… being …so…so…so"

"So?" Jane starts immediate again with her moves.

"So… fucking good at what you do." Maura presses over her lips.

Jane giggles. "Oh I'm sure you were nearly dying to say that."

The doctor's hand grips into thick black curls. "Mhhh. I would die quite happy. God… Jane."

Her tongue strokes slowly in and out and as she adds her thumb to Maura's clit, the trick did it. The cry of the detective's name is nearly ear-splitting.

The M.E. is seriously fighting for air, her heart tries to get out of her chest even as this isn't really possible. She was sure she wouldn't be able to remember her own name not to mention get hold on anything in her brain at the moment. She wasn't even sure if it was the lack of air or that mind blowing orgasm that caused the absence of brain cells.

_Stop! The name said it already, god Maura what are you doing here. Quit these dumb soliloquies and just enjoy. _

She moves her numb hands to Jane's cheek. "I need you here with me." Her sore voice is barely a whisper.

Her body can't stop twitching and flexing and shivering. Jane hovers over the small body, weight on her own hands and feet. The doctor opens her eyes and locks her gaze with the chocolate coloured.

"Hey" The detective whispers.

"Hi" They share a long and gentle kiss.

"I'm not fragile, you know. There is no need to hover on your hands you wouldn't crush me."

Jane lowers herself carefully down.

"Mhhh" Maura hums. "Better"

The Italian brushes her nose against her counterpart. The detective smiles. "I love you Dr. Badass."

They giggle both. Maura smiles lovingly and strokes some locks behind Jane's ears.

"You have no idea how much I love you. There was a time I thought I was in love with someone but it was never like this, I didn't even know that something like this existed. It is kind of painful and most terrifying to feel so much at once."

Jane lean down and kiss the skin on top of Maura' heart with small pecks.

"I don't know if it's supposed to be this way but all of this feels like natural, like it mend to be, like it's been ever this way. I don't feel like we crossed this line a few hours ago." The doctor whispers as she fondles through thick black hair.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. Need a beta-reader, pls pm me ;)

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	6. The well-educated Dr Isles

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

**_"I don't know if it's supposed to be this way but all of this feels like natural, like it mend to be, like it's been ever this way. I don't feel like we crossed this line a few hours ago." The doctor whispers as she fondles through thick black hair._**

Maura's POV

After we had shared some more slow and tender hours of passion and love we had fallen asleep. I woke up half an hour ago.

It is half past three in the morning and I am sipping tea, standing in my kitchen.

I can't sleep anymore, too much of my brain-cells have to catch up with my body. Jane is sleeping in my bed, naked. I remember every touch of her, every kiss. Every fibre in my body is in awe with her. I am touching the skin of my chest above the hem of my robe.

Being intimate with her often crossed my mind during the days, my dreams during the nights but nothing compares to having her for real. In my fantasies she is much more of the person she is at work. Dominant and confident. It doesn't even come close to what she is.

She surprised me in every possible way. I hear a sudden rustle and turn towards the hall expecting Bass roaming around. But there is Jane, leaning in the doorframe.

"How long are you watching me?" I grin.

"A while," Jane answers and pushes herself away from the wood. She moves behind me and wraps her arms around me.

I giggled, I giggle all the time with Jane. I never giggled before her and took her right hand into my own perfect manicured one.

She spread her fingers and intertwined them with my smaller ones. I am the only one that is allowed to touch her hands to more than a simple shake.

Jane kisses my neck softly. "I like observing you. You are extremely intriguing and arousing." She answered honestly with a small smile on her lips.

It was curious how her walls were suddenly completely down. I chuckle, snuggle firmer into Jane.

"I though about a new nickname for you, 'queen of cuddling'."

Jane groans. "I knew it would be a bad idea to open up myself so much."

She pokes between two rips of mine. "I will deny it and arrest you if you ever tell someone about this."

I hiss and smile slightly. "That's only for me. I don't like to share. Involves arresting me using your handcuffs?"

Jane snorts.

The imagination of Jane using her cuffs on me sent a rush of wetness between my legs. I have no idea why. I like sex a lot but I don't have any fetishes.

I'm sure the most of people around me think different about that. I have accidentally overheard enough conversations about my asserted preferences and my abilities in that department. Regardless of whether back in San Francisco or here in Boston most of the male population at work are disgusting and sadly not only the men at work.

Again, yes I like sex a lot but I am not as promiscuous as my reputation.

But yes, what we had done back upstairs. Yes, yes, yes. Again and again. The whole night long, every day of the year for the rest of my live.

I am a scientist and I use words like sexual intercourse, coitus or sex but what Jane and I shared was nothing of that.

I have only tried two positions through my whole live. Normally men like to be in charge, it's their human nature so I prefer the missionary style with men. It let them believe they are in charge.

The second position I tried years ago turned out to be very humiliating but as Jane hours ago was bend over my back it wasn't the same. Okay she wasn't penetrating me but I am positive I would have enjoyed it with her.

I snap my attention back to her. Her hands sneaking slightly under my robe. Caressing the fabric on my lower stomach and placing light kisses to my ear, I moan softly and melt into her embrace.

Jane smiles and whispers. "We don't want your tea getting cold, do we?" She pulls her hands away.

_God no_! _Screw the damn tea_. "God no!" I hiss and pull her back flush against me.

She sprays sucking kisses over my shoulder. Her hands pushing my light grey negligee upwards.

"I had no idea that the well-educated Dr. Isles isn't wearing anything under her nightie." Jane chuckles as her finger touches my bare bottom.

"Oh the well-educated Dr. Isles isn't wearing anything in bed usually."

I turned my head and whispered rough. "I like it when there is nothing on my skin."

"Mhhh, I can get used to that thought."

I squirmed against her body. She spins me around and before I can think I am sitting exactly on the same spot were we kissed tonight.

She takes place between my legs and I wrap them instantly around her hips. My head sinks back as she starts to kiss my throat.

A strong rush of arousal floats me and I moan soft but long. Jane smirks on my skin. Her hands move slowly up my legs and over my hips until she reaches the belt of my robe. As she shoves the fabric over my shoulders everything on my body that is able to, raises.

"Are you turned on Maura?"

I arched my upper body and moaned again, this time a little louder. "Yes, a lot."

"Yes I can see that." She breathed beneath my ear.

I moaned yet another tick louder. "You don't even need to touch me…" I breathed deeply before I elaborated.

"Your voice in my ear and your smell. You know what 'Pavlov conditioning' is?"

I can feel her head shaking.

"Maybe you know it as 'Pavlov's dog'."

Jane chuckles. "That's a rock-band, Maura."

Her roaming hands make it, the first time in my life, hard for me to explain something.

"The Russian physiologist Ivan Petrovich Pavlov founded the 'behavioristic learning theory' which implies that you can naturally, mostly native reflexes append with learned reflexes. The most known example is 'Pavlov's dog'. The administration of food was always connected to the ring of a bell. After several repetitions the ringing bell was enough for the dog to salivate. And that is exactly what your voice and your smell does to me. It let me crave for you."

I took a deep breath. She sucks softly on my pulse point.

"What does this to you?"

I lift my arm to show her my goose bumps and this time she sucks directly underneath my ear.

"And this?"

I take her hand and place it on my right breast to show her how erect my nipples are. She leans down and closes her teeth tenderly around it. For one moment I think she is about to bite. No pressure, no pain.

She just pulls slowly away and scrapes with her move slightly over it. It takes my arousal up to a completely new level. I think I was never this wet.

"This?" she asks.

Something tells me I should be embarrassed, but I just take her hand and slide it up between my legs. She shudders and bites her lower lip. It causes me to moan and a deep growl escapes from her throat.

I take another deep shaking breath. Her hand just stays there, no movement, slightly pressure. I set my palms flat on the counter behind me. Shift my weight onto my arms, leaning back.

She place soft sucking kisses on my jaw, neck, chest. The tip of her tongue darts out and she draws a line from the top of my corpus sterni up to my chin. I move my hips slightly. I am barely capable to take it anymore.

I moan again and take another shivering breath. "Make me yours again. This is all just waiting for you. I want you," I press the words out in a whisper. "Do whatever you want to do."

Jane is obviously at a loss of words for a moment and her voice is huskier and deeper than ever before.

"God Maura, I'm sure I missed a warning label that was delivered with you. I knew there was a weapon licence needed for your body but I didn't know your brain and your mouth needed one too."

I rock my hips as much as I can. "I meant it, every word of it. Switch off your second thoughts, I'm here and I'm yours. You've showed me how much you love and care for me but now I want all of you, your strength and your power."

Jane inhales harshly. She is beyond turned on, I feel her muscles spasm.

She hisses hot in my ear and it causes me to throw my head back hard against my cervix, a long and vocal moan and a heavy jerk of my hips.

Jane enters without any warning. She works her hand deeper and faster between my legs than before. Her two long fingers stroking in and out, torturing me, but not painfully. She manages somehow to stay gentle and tender. Although I am sure she would call it fucking me, it is much more softer than most of my former sexual intercourse.

The most of my previous lovers were not really gentle. That's the problem with casual sex, you do a blind bargain.

I had some which were gentle enough for being a man but I also had two or three who were really rough. Two options: use anatomical knowledge to get them off as quick as possible or ditch them in the middle of it.

Whatever, there is nothing I hate more than disrespect and cave dwellers.

But again, I love her power. And oh boy she has a lot of it.

I scream out Jane's name, my fingernails dig into her upper arms. Jane hisses in response. She proceed to place sucking kisses to my neck, her palm pushing against my clit with every thrust in. I moan nearly on the top of my voice.

"Come Maura. Come for me," she whispers and if she were any man this would be over for me right now. But she isn't and it has exactly the opposite effect on me.

The moment my orgasm crashes over me I shake uncontrollable and grip Jane's biceps even tighter. My voice breaks as I scream her name. She lifts me up and I can feel the wooden table under me.

'Unsanitary' flashes through my mind and before I know it my nightie touches the floor and she is on her knees. I am dumbfounded and speechless, barely able to register what is happening. The next thing I feel is my skin rubbing on the wood as she pulls me towards her. My legs over her shoulders.

It crosses my mind that I will certainly be able to locate every muscle in my entire body for days when this is over.

"Oh God!" I whisper and Jane smirks. "I doubt he will stand you by."

She reaches for my hands. All of my thoughts fade as Jane's tongue touches me.

My lips dropping a tone that sounds like a snake. I lift my head and meet her glance.

Jane's lips, teeth and tongue were on me, in me and teasing me. My body shakes and trembles, Jane consumes my entire being.

"Oh…, Jane! Yes! Like that. Just like that. Oh…God!" I don't know where this is coming from. I never encouraged someone before. This is all new and I like it. It feels free, right.

My chants become constant my nails scratching lightly at the skin on her hands.

I am so close already. Never ever I experienced such a quick rebound, Jane has shattered my world just moments before and was about to do it again. Jane slide her tongue over and over through the wetness. My whole body is one single spasm. One more motion and I will drift into a world of bliss.

Instead I drift in a world of darkness. As I open my eyes again Jane is hovering over me and kissing my face.

"Hey there, you scared me," she whispers. "What happened?"

I am not able to deliver a scientific explanation right now. "Too much," I answer simple.

Before she can start to unnecessary apologise again I stop her, pull her down with my legs.

Grabbing Jane's t-shirt, I practically rip it off. Pushing her panties down as far as I can and use my legs to take care of the remaining way down her calves.

I can feel her abs rippling against my sex and I am immediately turned on once more. Oh my god. I think I am showing some serious indications for hypersexuality, erotomania.

I might going insane, I just considered creating a new word. These words just don't seem to fit. I am addicted to Jane so I might be 'Janesexual' or 'Janemanically'. If anybody had told me two days ago I would consider creating words I wouldn't even had known how to response. She just does things to me and I think she is about doing it again.

She lifts me off the table and my back hits the door to my courtyard. Her strength and her stamina leaving me breathless. There is no way I can resist her. Of course I like to be in charge but it is like a release to trust so much, that I can forget about anything and just enjoy this amazing goddess and all she has to offer. This isn't a fight about the upper-hand. This is give and take, push and pull.

"Please Jane. Don't make me beg. Please."

"I'm here." She kisses me firm but gentle. I locate the lingering taste of my own desire on her lips, along with the tangy essence that is so pure of Jane. It overwhelms me and I whimpers.

I don't like swearing, not at all. But it simply slips from my lips with her. I saw her expression change back upstairs and just the look she gave me was my undoing. So it happens again without even thinking about it.

"Fuck me, now."

I can literally see the fire that rushed through her veins every time I swear.

With our position Jane uses my own weight to get deeper inside. My moans are steady and my back hit the wood with every move. Not really that hard.

"I don't want to hurt you, Maura."

I had barely air to speak. "Did… you… hear… me… complaining… I'm fine… much more… than… that."

Why should I complain? The word which was able to explain how I feel doesn't exist. I am feeling beautiful, sexy, desirable, adored, loved, no there is not one word which is worth to describe my feelings.

Jane closes her eyes and I can see her face working. I skim my left fingers over her cheek.

"Don't do that."

Jane slowes down her pace and whispers.

"It's just crazy. All I can think is how you look like now and the sounds you voice when you come for me, but than there is something that slap across my face and scream that this is the wrong way."

I pull myself firmer into her touch. "I'm not fragile, I told you that before and I'm even lesser a figure of a saint, I'm flesh and blood. I love you, baby. I want you and I want this."

Oh yes I want this. I'm usually not proprietary or egoistically or even being jealous. But she unveils me. She is mine and only mine and the urge for me to show her that I am hers is nearly unbearable.

I trie to encourage Jane with my move to go on. As she hits my g-spot I cry out.

"Oh… God… Jane. I'm yours. I'm yours whenever and however you want me."

Jane moans as she moves her fingers so that she now hits my weak point with every stroke. I am about to tell her how much I love her as an orgasm like an earthquake hit me.

I dig my nails deep into Jane, leaving small bruises. My back hits the wood behind me hard. Each and every time Jane shake me deep down to the core, all logical thoughts are gone. No one had ever made me come so many times and never so forcefully. I hum softly, eyes closed and all I can do is breath.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. Need a beta-reader, pls pm me ;)

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	7. I trust you with my life

**Boy, I am really shocked about the f... JTam. That was a damn obvious middle finger for us. I really hope JanNash can fix that mess. Although the EP wasn't that bad - I felt like I watched some kind of different show. They were all so out of their character. So the beste WE can do is act like it never happened. I want to thank you for your support so far - hope you stay with me and enjoy our journey.**

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

**_I dig my nails deep into Jane, leaving small bruises. My back hits the wood behind me hard. Each and every time Jane shake me deep down to the core, all logical thoughts are gone. No one had ever made me come so many times and never so forcefully. I hummed softly, eyes closed and all I can do is breath._**

Jane's POV

I got off the bed, searched for my slacks. I gently took each one of Maura's wrists, placing her hands above her head. I had sworn that I would never use handcuffs during sex, the cliché too much for me to handle, but well…she had asked for it.

So without a second thought, I locked the cuffs around her wrists, looped through the bed. I knew how to make them not too tight though, not wanting to hurt her.

As she realize that she was cuffed she gave me a lustful haze, her eyes suddenly black with rich desire. I moaned in return.

Looking down at Maura for a long while, taking in every single inch of her, naked and squirming. God she is so beautiful, almost too much to bear. Her quirks and unique character makes her more beautiful than her flawless body. I must have been staring. I sensed the change on her face and caressed her chest with my fingertips.

"You are so beautiful Maura. Every single inch of you. I don't know how I got so lucky."

"Jane…" Maura breathed out, her lips smiling gently.

"I love you." I whispered. We kissed lovingly for a long while, both of us lost in the sensation of each other.

As we slightly part she whispered. "I'm the lucky one, you've given me so much. Before we met my life was a phrase of boring party's, lonely evenings, too much silence, disrespectful colleagues and a lot of emotionless relationships."

She kissed me gentle. "And then a loud, bold and moody Italian prostitute rushed into my life and I was suddenly more alive than in all the former thirty years. You've showed me what it means to trust, to care and to love and I don't mean even what we have now. I love you, baby. So, so much."

My heart is about to explode.

When we broke apart from our kiss, I gave her nose a soft peck. Maura smiled. "I trust you with my life." Her expression changed back to arousal and desire.

I hovered on hand and knees, I planned on taking my time. Bending more, I lightly let the tip of my tongue draw around her ear and slowly just slightly inside. I follow her jaw line, around her face to her other ear shell and mirror my action.

I drove back to her chin, nearly in slow motion down her throat. Over her right collarbone, down her arm. I lifted her hand and slid along her thumb, at the end I press a small kiss on the tip. I repeated that with all her fingers and my tongue moved back over her left arm to her other collarbone. I spread kisses all over her chest.

As my tongue barely connected to one of her already rock-hard nipples Maura gasped in response. Her buds hardening even more. Doing the same to the other breast, I repeated the process until a whimpering sound slipped past Maura's lips.

"God Jane, please."

Her reaction to me left me in awe the whole time and I wonder if I can make her come again only teasing her breast. Okay I am not that mean, she was already embarrassed.

"Touch me." She groaned, noticable fighting the cuffs. My hands moved from the bed, slid over silk skin on her sides and cupped each breast. I drew slight circles with my thumbs and ghosted slowly over both peaks.

"Jane!" Maura hissed.

I was for a thousand times this night caught off guard. I had never thought that it could be so adorable to watch someone like this. She smiled at me, arched into the touch.

My scars caressed against the erected tips. As I closed my lip around one of them Maura groaned, arching even more up, the best she could with the cuffs. She moaned again.

I kissed her briefly and stroked with my tongue hers. "Do you even have a clue what you do to me?" I whispered as we broke away.

"Slightly" She answered and moved her hips towards my center and caused a dark growl from my throat.

My lips moved over her chin, down her throat and to the right side on her neck. She turned her head in the opposed direction to give a better aces. I splayed hot and wet kisses across her skin and my attention to one of her weak spots drove her even more out of her mind.

I kissed my way slowly down her body. She moaned vocally as my tongue entered her belly button.

Her hands clenched at the headboard, hips buckling off the bed. I kissed down the left leg, traced my tongue slowly upward the same leg and mirrored my actions on the other side. Maura withered on the mattress, trying to spread her legs wider and lead me between them.

"Please," barely a whisper.

I kissed slowly her hips and blew a rush of cold air against her center.

"God…"

Next my fingers were on her thighs and stroking thumbs on the inner side of them. Maura whimpered. Her whole body was pounding. She inhaled a deep breath and I think she pulled all of her nerves together to moan.

"Jane I want to come on your tongue."

A shiver ran through all my veins. I move slowly between Maura's thighs and she sobbed at finally being touched, her hips pressed hard against my hands. My tongue slid slowly up and down before she met warm and sticky wetness inside her.

Small, loud, panting moans echoed over and over again in the bedroom. If I hadn't looked up to her I would have missed the single, silent tear that run down the beautiful face.

I panicked. I rushed upwards and at the lost of contact Maura opened her eyes.

"What is it, Maura?" She bit her lower lip. "Don't go there. Don't even try to say everything is fine."

As she closed her eyes again my voice changed. "Just a moment I get the key."

"No!" Maura rushed out. "No it isn't that."

She breathed a few times. "I'm just a bit… I don't know…"

The next breath shivered. "Okay, I wish I could enjoy it a little more. I wish I could hold on a bit longer but every time you touch me I'm feeling like I am going to explode every second. Maybe I'm just nervous."

I didn't know if there were more words to come out but my lips met hers after her sentence had ended.

"I'm sorry. We will wait until you calm down and I stop teasing. I'm so, so sorry." I reached up to take off the cuffs. I flipped us both softly over that Maura was on top.

I held her close to me and we kissed nearly fifteen minutes gentle and tender and nothing more than this. "Let's try something different. Sit up."

As the she lifted her upper body I grabbed her hips and signalled her she should scoot up to me.

"You know that this can be quite dangerous."

I nod my head yes. "I'm sure I'm strong enough to throw you off but I don't worry about that. It will give you much more control and you can decide at your own how much pressure you use."

I leaned up and kissed her. "Just tell me what to do."

Maura closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I laced our fingers together and waited until she scooted up and come to sit on my chest. Suddenly she was off of me and came back in a sixty-nine.

Her hands roamed over my legs and she lowered her upper body, she kissed slowly the pubis down and closed her lips around my clit. I was frozen for a moment, it was not what I had in mind, I was about to extend Maura's pleasure.

After a few seconds of shock my hands traced over her buttocks and the lower back, over thighs and sides, I signified her to lower her hips and changed my technique. I avoided approaching some parts of her, to boost her enjoyment much more.

Within some minutes the acoustic was dominated from low pants, small moans and heavy breathing. This time Maura seemed to be more relaxed and I let her set pressure and pace. Quite a while later she slowed down the movements of her hips and whispered breathless.

"Jane… I'm close. I would like…"

I cut her short, understanding and answered "me too" and carried on with my treatment and we climaxed both at an interval from some seconds.

As I had thought, I was utterly at peace with a drained and collapsed Maura on top of me and caressed the small butt with my fingertips. I didn't liked physical contact afterwards as a matter of fact but in a kind of comfortable odd way everything with Maura was different. It was all eased, natural and normal.

Maura crawled over me and lowered back on top. Her fingertips rested against my neck and she hummed in her own bliss. I was more sated than ever before and my whole body was in a kind of twilight state. My skin tingled and I was covered in a thin haze of sweat.

Maura's nose traced along my jaw line, down my neck and the same route back and forth, back and forth. I slid gentle eight fingers in a row up and down her spine.

"Get some rest, pretty girl." I whispered.

We shared a long and languid kiss before she spoke up "I like it to be your little spoon, if you don't mind. We ended up like this the night you stayed."

I scooted over to the left. "I know. I like cuddling with you. I woke up in the middle of that night and felt like I'm home, like where I belong."

We kissed a last time before Maura snuggled her back into my front. She took my right hand and pulled my arm over her belly.

"I love you." I nuzzled my face in her hairs.

"I love you more. Night, sweetheart."

Maura smiled. "Thank you for allowing me to feel incredibly beautiful and special." She whispered and I hummed as response.

"You are incredible beautiful and special." I closed my arm tighter around her.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. Need a beta-reader, pls pm me ;)

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	8. May I request a wish?

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**Maura smiled. "Thank you for allowing me to feel incredibly beautiful and special." She whispered and I hummed as response.**_

_**"You are incredible beautiful and special." I closed my arm tighter around her.**_

Maura woke up to a variety of senses. She felt all of her muscles stiffed and arched and she smelled coffee.

"Jane?" Maura whispered hoarsely but there was no response.

Her eyes finally opened slowly. The detective had obviously closed the blinds and was nowhere in sight and so she crawled across the bed to Jane's side on her way to the bathroom.

As Maura came downstairs Jane sat at the kitchen counter and sipped her coffee.

She locked her arms around from behind and kissed the detective between her shoulder blades. The Italian took one of her hands, led her around, pecked her on the lips and patted on the stool beneath her.

After breakfast they laid on the couch, Jane on her back and Maura half on top of her, over her right side, head on her shoulder. She stroked softly with her flat palm the detective's belly.

"May I request a wish?" She asked softly.

"Whatever you like," Jane smiled.

Dr. Isles straddled her belly and bent down to close the distance. "I would like to date you."

She slipped curls trough her fingers. "I would like to do everything what people do when they are in love for the first time, like in high school. I want to go to the movies, having picnic's, go dancing, making out in the backseat of a car, all of it. I have never done things like that."

The Cop smiled lovingly. "Your wish is my command but I have a condition."

"Whatever you like," the M.E. used the same words.

"I'd like to see your incredible nice ass in a pair of jeans when I took you to the movies later. Schoolgirls aren't wearing designer dresses on dates to popcorn, coke and secret kisses."

Jane was a kind of nervous as she stood in front of Maura's doorstep four hours later.

"Why don't you use your key?"

Jane looked in awe down at the small woman.

The pale blue three-quarter denim was a perfect fit, her white modest blouse was just enough buttoned that it was vaguely perceptible what was underneath the fabric. She wore decent make up, none lipstick and white chucks.

"Wow. You're really stunning even in jeans and chucks. And you don't barge through the door at the first date."

It was Maura's turn to let her eyes wander. "I like these pants."

Jane wore a blue and white checked knee-length thin cloth pants that had a diagonal cut at the outsides and was soft ruffled, that it kind of looked like a plant skirt, a white tank top and also white chucks. She offered Maura a single white lily and smiled.

"So I just trout a hackneyed cliché, the flower of beauty and purity for the purest beautiful girl."

Maura chuckled.

"Well, the rules for dating. Dr. Smartypants has to stay at home, no nagging, we don't count calories, there is nothing we are too old for but a lot we are much too young and the biggest rule of all no second base on the first date."

Maura laughed so hearty that Jane wished she could stop the march of time.

"Second base includes what? Tell me the "baseball rules" on the way, it seems I need them." She hooked her arm under Jane's and they leaved the house.

"There is a small cinema, you choose your genre and the movie is sneaky. I would like to go there, it's a nice one." The detective whispered.

"Yes. I would like that. You owe me an explanation for the baseball phrases." She giggled.

"Okay. Baseball is very useful, you will see. 'First base' is kissing, especially French kissing. 'Second base' is light petting with hands and fingers, with or without clothes. 'Third base' is oral sex and 'fourth base' or 'home run' is the full package."

Maura giggled. "What is a 'switch-hitter', I overheard that in the lap."

Jane grinned." Yes, there is a little more. A 'switch-hitter' is reference to bisexuality, as they can bat from two sides. 'Pitching' reference performing anal sex and 'catching' is receiving anal sex. It's mostly used for two men. 'Playing for the other team' is a reference to homosexuality. And a 'strikeout' is a rejection to one of the bases."

Maura giggled once more. "So, no 'second base'? That means 'first base' is in?"

Jane smiled and gave her a peck on the lips.

They walked holding hands trough public garden, stopped under a tree at the pond. The beds were full of snowdrops and purple crocuses and Maura had kissed her nearly shyly.

"What kind of movie would you watch on the first date?"

Jane giggled. "I guess to get you as fast as possible out of your clothes I would choose a kind of tear jerker."

Maura smiled brightly. "So 'second base' is off but 'home run' is in?"

The Detective kissed her lovely. "Oh if I would try to pass the bases we would be in the backseat of my car in a drive-in movie."

Maura's lips whispered near her ears. "I hope I will pass the first date, I would never miss a drive-in movie with you." She took Jane's hand and they strolled on. As the lights went off the M.E. laced their fingers together and leaned her head to Jane's shoulder.

It should be 'Nights in Rhodanthe'.

Even if Jane would never admit it, she had watched the film before and she had cried like a baby in the end. She tried to be brave but she failed miserable. Ninety-seven minutes beside an all emotional Maura and the at last sadly end left some tears on her cheeks. The doctor was fully in tears and Jane pulled her beautiful face in a tender kiss.

"My badass Cop," the M.E. smiled and wiped tears from the woman's face.

They stayed until the lights came back on.

Outside the sunset hat just started and they bought Chinese noodles with veggies and ate on a bench in the park. After they finished, it was quite dark and Maura straddled Jane and pulled her in for a long kiss.

"I could stay like this forever, I felt never so detached from my boundaries and as a whole."

Jane smiled brightly. "Me too"

They sat there for nearly two hours laughed and kissed and enjoyed all of their time without ringing phones, murders or disruptive people that seemed to know exactly when the two of them where in a room together. The whole way back home they shared more laughter and much more kisses. The last half mile Jane gave Maura a piggyback ride. They both felt like two teenagers in love for the first time and Maura was thankful to experience it with Jane.

Ending their 'date' with a kiss in the threshold they made slow and gentle love for hours on the floor in front of the fireplace.

Maura crawled on Jane's back and kissed her until she stirred.

"Breakfast" She whispered.

"Again? You're insatiable Dr. Isles."

Maura giggled. "No. Yes I am, but no. I mean real breakfast with coffee and pancakes."

Jane moaned. "Perfect, I'm starving."

The detective stretched her limps and turned around. The doctor had placed the food around them on the carpet, she was wearing nothing but a white sheet. She pulled Jane to sit, straddled her and wrapped the white cloth around them.

"What may I feed you?"

The Cop bit her neck softly. "This, but that wouldn't sate me."

"Mhhh, I hope I will never sate you."

Goose bumps shot over her skin as Jane spread her hands over her buttocks. "Blueberry pancakes, please"

"Try to get it." The M.E whispered and shoves it in her own mouth.

Jane threw Maura on her back and let slowly run some of the honey on her skin.

"Pancake with honey is just as sexy as you." With a stormy kiss she stole some of the pancake from Maura's mouth and licked over her belly. She sat up again and nipped at her coffee, the M.E. still on her back, her skin sticky and her eyes where nearly black.

"You will have to fix that in the near future." The doctor panted.

Jane roamed her eyes over Maura and smiled to herself as she saw all the revealing evidences.

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

Now Maura was on all fourth and crawled over the black-haired women and pressed her to the floor. She scooted her body over the darker skin and pulled the sheet over them.

"Pancake?" The detective slid some of the food over her lower lips and they feed the other one.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. Need a beta-reader, pls pm me ;)

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	9. I like the sound of that

**I want to thank _ALL_ my follower's. Thank you for your review's and privat massages. I want especially thanking _Jesse_, my sectretcly follower *too lazy to register*, _syb0lis_m and dr. ri zz les_ 81(your name is obviously a BAD word xDD)_ for their support. Hope you still stay a while with me. Have fun and "_carpe vitam_"**

**Thanks a lot also to ****OxymoronForLife **for putting up with me and being my beta. Well it is peace for my mind and a relief for your eyes ;)

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

**_"Pancake?" The detective slid some of the food over her lower lips and they feed the other one._**

After they took a shower together and were all set, they left for their second date.

The pair strolled through the park and enjoyed a picnic beside the Back Bay Bridge. They lay on a smooth blanket, cuddling and caressing each other, but still respectful of the other park visitors.

"Jane, may I ask you something?"

The detective turned her head to face Maura. "Just ask."

The M.E. scooted even closer. "Are you really okay with this, our public display of affection?"

Jane smiled sweetly. "Why wouldn't I?"

Maura closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. "I kind of thought, I don't know… You seem bothered by the things they sometimes call you at work."

The detective smiled even brighter.

"Because it's none of their business. They can call me a bitch because I'm a bitch sometimes or more often than sometimes. They can call me cranky, because I am. But it's none of their business who I'm in love with or who shares my bed. I don't call David a motherfucker because his wife is twenty years older. I don't call them whores because some of them have sex with more women in a week then there are nuns in a convent. It's not my business and I don't like it that they insult people because of who they love. I mean, I'm not even really gay, it just so happens that the person I love is the same sex. I don't know why that matters to even one of them. I probably will never hear the end of 'Detective Gayzzoli' but it doesn't really bother me. But I have to admit that I would like to keep us a secret for a little longer… just so we can enjoy us just a while. Because I'm sure I will have to crush some noses every five seconds in the near future defending your honor."

Maura stroked over Jane's abs. "You don't have to defend me, you know that."

"Oh, I will defend you, that's my job. I defended you before we were friends, during our friendship, and now I will defend you even more."

Jane smiled brighter than the sun. So Maura responded in the best way she knew, she scooted on top of Jane and kissed her long and tender.

"You just bring out the protector in me because you are way too nice and polite to defend yourself to those knuckleheads."

Maura kissed her again and whispered. "I would like to have all of you to myself for a little longer, so I'm okay with us being a secret for a little while."

They kissed for much longer than before.

"Mhhh… I like this side of you. I thought you would fight it, but I'm amazed at how relaxed you are with me and this new element of our relationship."

Jane smiled again. "I never really fought it, but there was a time I tried to ignore it. I thought I was reading something into my feelings that wasn't there. But after a while, I knew that I felt so much more about you so I just admitted it to myself and was pretty okay with it. It never bothered me that I was in love with a woman. The thing that worried me was I 'm in love with my best friend and that could possibly put our friendship at risk."

Maura stood, pulling Jane up and across the park. "Let's go home. I would rather kiss and cuddle with you as much as possible before work consumes us again."

Jane stopped her movement abruptly and whispered something. Maura turned around and searched for the pair of eyes that she loved so much.

"What's the matter?"

Jane swallowed, but didn't answer until the doc was at her side and then it was barely a whisper on the M.E.'s ear shell.

"I said I like the sound of that… home"

Maura was relieved Jane couldn't see the goofy grin on her face that was hidden in the curtain of black locks, afraid it would give her away. While it had only been two days since they shifted from friends to lovers, one of the doctor's deepest secrets was always the wish that Jane would share not only her home, but her life with the M.E.

"I'm afraid that we rush this and…"

Maura cut her short. "I don't think we're rushing, but please don't do anything you're not entirely okay with. You don't have to go back to your apartment, but if you need time for yourself I will not hold you. I would miss you beside me, but I know you well enough to know you're already out of your comfort-zone. I'm here as your friend, as your partner and as the one who loves you. I will always support you and take every step with you. I want us to continue to be the perfect team… nothing more and nothing less. I promise I will never force you to do anything, I hope you know that."

"I love you and continue to love you more every second because of who you are. Let's get dinner and then head home. I want to snuggle on the couch with my little spoon," Jane whispered into Maura's ear.

Maura set her alarm for ten minutes earlier than normal, just to gain some cuddle time in bed with Jane before she had to get up and ready for the day. Jane watched her as she sashayed her way into her bathroom, fully nude.

The detective sighed in contentment. She didn't really understand what had gotten into her the moment she kissed the doctor, but she was damn happy that it happened. Now she didn't have to stare after Maura, desiring to kiss her… now she just could do it.

Jane followed the M.E into her bathroom. It was so 'Maura like' and looked set-up for a photo shoot or an exhibit at a trade show. The floor was black granite. Across from the door sat a white wall-cupboard with six drawers and two embedded black sinks with nearly a five yard wide floor-to-ceiling mirror. In the middle of the room was her also embedded, monstrous, quadratic, black bath tub, if you could call it that.

In the far left corner was her freaking, made of black glass, Jacuzzi with blue lights and equipped with every imaginable bell and whistle. In the right corner, stood the rain forest-shower also with black glass and blue lights. Around every item was a two feet wide wooden border on the floor.

Between the door and shower were weird white cubic-shaped shelves, all artistically attached to the wall. The shelves were stuffed with vases of glass beads, test tubes filled with colored sand and a lot more girly-decoration-shit.

Yes, Jane used to tease the M.E. about her clothes, her always prim and proper house and her luxury car, but she understood very early in their friendship that they were all armor for the breakable soul underneath. The clothes were the best example as the tender and loving Maura got dressed and changed to the polite and icy Dr. Isles. Only Jane seemed to pierce through "Dr. Isles'" walls.

Jane spotted Maura entering the shower. Sliding up behind her quietly, the detective's arms closed around the warm, slender hips and Maura yelped in surprise.

"Jane! Don't sneak up on me like that!" She chastised before leaning back into her new favorite position, skin on skin contact with the lanky cop. Jane said nothing, instead placing small kisses on the doctor's left shoulder blade.

As she turned on the shower, Jane let her hands start to roam over Maura's skin.

"We have to go to work," the medical examiner tried to protest, but Jane was lightly sucking behind her ear and she was already having difficulty functioning.

"Yeah, late," was the whispered response and Maura was turned to face the ebony-haired woman.

Before the doc could reply that she needed all the time to get ready, Jane silenced her with a soft but deep kiss. The blonde moaned and her arms slid up and around the detective's neck. Slowly moving, Jane backed Maura up against the wall. The cold tiles touched her alabaster skin but the touch of darker skin on her front made her shiver.

"You are so perfect, Maura." Her hands caressed over the beautiful body. "So perfect."

The doctor groaned loudly as Jane's fingertips ghosted over her hard buds and her thigh pressed against Maura's sex.

Maura's head lolled back and the Italian sucked lightly on her pulse point. The doctor's nails scratched over Jane's skin. Her eyes were closed but she pictured the waves of water streaming down the tanned skin attracted by the force of gravity.

Her own force of gravity no longer directed towards the core center, now her entire universe rotated only around Jane.

"No teasing, Jane." She breathed as she gripped two strong shoulders and moved herself onto the leg between her own.

One look in eyes, black with rich desire, Jane kneeled down and lifted the M.E.'s right leg over her shoulder. As light kisses sucked and licked against her skin, the doc growled and bit her lower lip. The detective's hands went around Maura's body and flat palms met the swell between thighs and bottom.

"Oh God," the medical examiner gasped and arched into the touch of a warm tongue.

Maura moaned desperately. "In," was the only word she managed to press over her lips.

The Cop replaced her hands with her right arm and slid two of her long and slender fingers into Maura's core. She felt as the muscles clenched around her digits, trying to draw them even deeper. Maura moved her hip into the touch and whimpered.

"Tell me," Jane asked barely above a whisper. Maura searched dark brown eyes, her voice raspy and dark.

"Deep and fast, I want you to fuck me like you did against the door downstairs."

Jane pulled her fingers almost all the way out and pushed them back in, as deep as she could, but slowly for the first few strokes. The doctor's nails dug into skin as the strokes became harder, faster and rougher.

Neither of them was used to that kind of sex before they experienced it together and although most would call this just a random fuck, it wasn't. Though it was obviously not love-making, it was still more about love than both of them had ever experienced during slow-sex in other relationships.

Even the pace couldn't stop Jane from softly and gently kissing Maura's skin and whispering sweet nothings. The M.E. knew if she would say a single word, the detective would stop and love her in every pace, position and place she asked for.

Maura had known that fact from the moment Jane kissed her downstairs, the way she treated her. She knew the other woman would do everything she asked for and it was that moment she knew she could finally let go and enjoy all of it, without shame, without embarrassment, without a second thought and without loosing her face. And that was it, their complete connection and she enjoyed it, a lot and she knew it was the same for Jane.

"Beautiful. You're incredibly beautiful and sexy and sweet." It was more than just words for the doctor and it pushed her higher than all the movements inside her.

The smaller body was heaving with deep breaths and her thigh locked the all-trained cop against her. Maura was lost again as Jane's tongue touched her clit once more. She desperately tried to hold on to something.

She dug her nails into dark skin. "God…Jane." She closed her eyes and fought with everything she could, to hold onto the divine pleasure for as long as possible.

She didn't want it to end just yet. But as Jane bent her fingers and touched the magic spot, there was nothing left to hold. She shook hard in the detective's arm, her mouth open as her head fell back and the next words that left her lips were, "Oh, fuck Jane."

After she calmed down a bit, she took a long deep breath and relaxed against Jane. Her head dropped to the detective's shoulder and light kisses stroked her face. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and a small shy smile emerged on her lips. The Italian smiled back and kissed her softly before she began to lather the smaller woman.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. **Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	10. If I believed in magic

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**After she calmed down a bit, she took a long deep breath and relaxed against Jane. Her head dropped to the detective's shoulder and light kisses stroked her face. After a few moments, she opened her eyes and a small shy smile emerged on her lips. The Italian smiled back and kissed her softly before she began to lather the smaller woman.**_

They all sat at their desks working on more paperwork.

Just as Maura slid through the door, the female detective rasped. "I hate damn paperwork."

Frost and Korsak grumbled in unison.

"Language, Jane. I brought coffee. I thought you would need it." Maura put down a coffee on everyone's desk and placed herself on the edge of Jane's.

Korsak looked over at Maura and Jane.

"Yes, I think Ms. 'Bad Mood on Monday Mornings' needs a lot of coffee today."

Jane lifted her eyebrow. "I'm not in a bad mood. I just hate paperwork."

Frost took a long sip of his coffee. "Maybe you should take the week off – a break after that case."

"Yeah, Jane, you have plenty of vacation days and comp time built up," Korsak interjected.

Maura touched her shoulder and waited for Jane to look up to her. "Maybe you should."

Jane shook her head. "And then what? Lie around on my couch and think about that freak? No thanks."

Maura smiled at her. "Maybe I will take some days off, too and we can go away together."

"Look Jane, grab Dr. Isles and get out of Boston for a couple of days. Go somewhere, anywhere and relax. Just come back safe and sound." Korsak waved his hand.

Jane watched Maura's face. "Come on. We'll get some lunch and talk about it."

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Jane spun Maura around and kissed her tenderly.

"So, you think I should take a break?" She smiled against the doctor's lips. "And, of course, it is totally unselfish of you to accompany me."

"Absolutely!" the M.E. answered smiling. "Right now, there is nothing nicer I can think of then you and me in a secluded place, on a bed with as few clothes as possible between us."

Jane laughed. She kissed Maura briefly but gently a last time before the 'ding' declared their arrival on the main floor. They made their way to the Dirty Robber for lunch, sitting in their usual booth. As they placed their order, Maura gave Jane her 'how often must I tell you that's not healthy' look.

"Don't go there Maura. Thanks to my metabolism, I can eat like a chowhound and not gain an ounce."

"Yes, but your blood cholesterol level will thank you very much if you wouldn't eat this mound of grease."

Jane grinned. "Food without grease tastes like rubber. And anyway, the fries you steal from me are greasy, too." Just on cue their food arrived.

"So, how about you tell me about our unplanned get-away?"

"I think we have two options. Either we stay nearby and drive over to the Winthrop Shore or we drive all the way to Brewster so we are out of town. Your decision."

Jane smiled. "What is there to decide? Fifteen minutes versus two hours in the car?"

Since Lieutenant Raymond Wells had been promoted, Korsak managed the Homicide division temporarily, so it wasn't a problem taking the week off on short notice. So they both went home to quickly pack.

**Maura's POV**

I wake up with the dawn. My back is pressed up against Jane's front but I want to watch her sleep.

She is so beautiful in her sleep. Well, she is always beautiful but when she sleeps, her face is so young and so full of peace.

Usually I get up the moment I wake, but since I've been sharing my nights with her, I can't motivate myself to leave the bed.

I have nearly half an hour until sunrise and I am not going to miss the moment the sun touches her.

Since its January, it's cold outside and the sea is rough. But this year we seem to have a lot of sun. It may not be that warm, but the sun is free to shine.

If I believed in magic, I would dare to think that someone up there is quite as happy as I am that we're together now. But, I don't believe in magic. I don't, I think. I knew that I didn't but now… Now I would like to believe in things like magic and predestination and fate – especially since my fate is peacefully resting beside me.

I know it is preposterous, but it feels like she is my fate, my soul-mate, my destiny, my eternity, my everything.

I am ruled by science. I believe in hormones and sexual attraction and natural instinct. But Jane is so much more than science. Every time she touches me it feels like she touches my heart and my soul. I know this isn't what nature provided in terms of evolution. I also know that sexuality is fluid and I never thought same-sex relationships were less than. But science should disprove it.

Nature proved to us otherwise and that is where my devotion for science collided with my body and heart and… simply collided with me.

I never felt love before, not the love in the poetical sense. I can name all the hormones that are responsible for sexual attraction and for sexual arousal and the urge for physical closeness after sex. But this science made no sense anymore.

I never was a 'cuddler' or 'lovesick'.

But, I am now. Preferably I would like to crawl inside her. I am physically sick when she's not by my side. I am not able to think clearly when she is near me. I can track all the impacts of drug intoxication. And what scares me the most is the fact that if she would ask me, I would willingly wait for her.

Sex is science.

I am used to handling it like shoe shopping… although I never paid for it.

If I needed it, I picked someone up and got what I wanted. Just as simple as that.

I don't know exactly how often I had sex in my life. I never counted it, but it wasn't that much in the last ten years.

I had two more or less serious relationships with men. To be honest, you get really lucky if you have sex more than once a night with a man. I didn't even think about orgasms. I ended up needing to create my own release after at least half the sexual encounters.

Jane worships my body, she worships me. She takes the time to slowly pamper every inch of me.

She bestows me with the most intense and beautiful orgasms of my life.

She lets me feel like the most expensive, most vulnerable, most breakable, most beautiful and rarest thing she has ever seen. She allows me to retain my dignity.

I never find a smug smirk on her face.

She never tries to force me to look at her when I climax. Most people don't know, but typically females don't like to look into someone's eyes when they are so vulnerable.

However, she watches my face like I do hers when she comes and that is another difference.

She looks so graceful in contrast to the nearly painful, distorted face of a man. I never watched their faces. It made me feel used and dirty.

I never feel dirty with her, not in the middle of the night on Friday or Saturday morning and not yesterday morning as we released tension in a very fierce way.

With her it doesn't feel dirty, regardless of how much pure lust and animal attraction there is. That's another difference, Jane doesn't do anything to me. It feels like we melt together.

It doesn't feel like I get fucked.

And it isn't that the word feels wrong.

We sleep together, we make love, we fuck.

We.

Not one of us just satisfies the other one. Each and every time it feels like we do it together.

I can't get enough of her, of her skin which touches mine, of her hands that appear so rough but are anything but rough.

Of her beautiful eyes which are able to stare gigantic men down but hold only love and adoration for me.

Of her sensitive lips which I never knew could hold such amazingly words inside.

Of her desirable body which seems specially created to match mine.

Of her heart-melting voice that melts a lot more than my heart.

Of her infinite power that never overpowers me.

Of her indecent effect on me. I am sure by the end of this week, I will have had more orgasms and by the end of the month, more sex with her than in my entire life.

It was simple with sex in the past. Now I am in a constant state of excitement. I can be shameless and remorseless with her without losing my pride. And the best part is she does the same.

I have learned a lot of things about Jane Rizzoli in the past three days and four nights and if it is possible, my love for her redoubled.

I knew all the things I said to her when we kissed the first time but she is more than that. She is so much more that there isn't even a word that describes her much less does justice to her.

I don't know if I am able to give back what she gives to me, but I am willing to move heaven and earth for her.

I have learned a lot about me, too. And I will learn a lot more at her side… hopefully for the rest of my life.

The sun rises and I watch it crawling slowly towards her body. I know it is ridiculous, but I feel a breath of envy. I want to touch her like the sun does but I like to watch as well. Her skin glows from the ball of fire on the horizon and I wish I could freeze this sight.

No painting or picture would ever be able to do this moment justice.

It is still early in the morning. Much too early for Jane to wake up on a day off but after I enjoyed this sight worthy of the gods, I have to touch her.

Carefully I stroke the thick locks out of her face. I graze the nails of my left hand from her shoulder along her right arm to her hips and then slowly back up.

She is sleeping on her left side, left arm curled under her head onto the pillow, her knees slightly bent. I wish we could stay here forever. Stay forever like this. Forever in love and flying high for all eternity.

Can a relationship stay like this?

I don't like my tendency to be pessimistic, but a burnt child dreads the fire.

Everyone left me except for one that was my own choice.

I don't like to drift into that direction.

Statistically speaking, relationships that began as friendships are the most stable and fulfilling.

I am thinking too much.

She said she loves me, more than once and I know she means it.

My nails are still sliding up and down her body but as I focus back on her, I see her watching me. As our eyes meet, she smiles. I think she knows I am in a twilight mood so she turns up the volume immediately.

"Wow Maura, what bad service here. Where's my coffee?"

I smile back and place myself over her. "Well, good morning down there."

I lean towards her and we share a tender kiss. "I think you earned your coffee," I whisper against her lips.

She smiles but holds me close. "Too early to get up," she answers. So we stay in bed two more hours kissing and snuggling.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. **Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	11. Voglia

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**She smiles but holds me close. "Too early to get up," she answers. So we stay in bed two more hours kissing and snuggling.**_

Jane's POV

After a two hour cuddling session of kissing and hugging, we had to get up. Not only was my stomach growling, but we needed to buy some food for our stay. So we walked along the shore holding hands, heading towards a little market.

I love being connected to her.

I saw her struggling this morning and I know she is feeling insecure.

But I don't think it's me she is uncertain about. I don't sense she doubts my feelings for her or my honesty. I can feel it when she looks at me, when she touches me. I believe this goes deeper under her skin. I think she is afraid – afraid of what might happen.

Maybe she is anxious about what might occur when our family and friends will find out or about where all of this will lead.

I know it's still new, but if it makes her feel more secure, I would drop down on one knee and ask her to marry me.

Yeah, okay that's ultra sappy and sooo gay. But, hey, if that means I get Dr. Maura Isles exclusively for the rest of my life, I'm willing to be whatever they might call me.

Okay, I am not going to marry her right away, but definitely in the near future. I don't want to freak her, but I want to make sure she knows that I'm really serious about us.

So after our breakfast, I excused myself and headed out of the café in search of a present. I needed to hurry 'cause I didn't want to get her curious. I found her present much easier than I thought.

I remembered something about colors that my mother rambled about some time ago. I didn't even realize I listened to her, but I remembered as soon as my eye caught the perfect thing. I really hoped she likes it.

After we had stowed away our groceries, we shared a small lunch and walked along the shore down to the sea.

I left her present waiting on her pillow on the bed.

Of course, when we were as far as possible from the house, it began to drizzle. We raced back down the beach, but by the time we reached the patio, we were drenched. I convinced her to go upstairs and shower while I made a fire and built a nice bed with blankets and cushions on the floor. Then I headed upstairs myself.

As I cracked open the bedroom door, Maura sat on the edge of the mattress, her face streaming with tears. She held the box to her chest with her right hand and clutched the card in her left. It broke my heart to see her crying even though there was a little shy smile on her lips. She must have sensed me and looked up. In a heartbeat, she was in my arms.

"I love you. I don't know what to say… except for thank you," she whispered in my ear.

I kissed her slowly. "Well, there wasn't enough time to get it ready but I want you to have it now – not in a week. I want you to know that you don't have to worry about my loyalty and my honesty for you. So we need to take them to a jeweler so they can be connected."

She pulled me tighter to her. "I love you. I love you, too with my heart and my soul," she whispers over and over.

That is what I wrote in the card. 'With my heart and my soul' and that's exactly what her present is – a silver necklace with a heart-shaped pendant and a heart-shaped stone in the middle. Her birthstone – peridot.

I also purchased two tiny butterflies, the symbol for the soul. The female assistant at the jeweler suggested I choose two distinctly different butterflies.

The one representing me is a simple silver butterfly with diamonds – my birthstone. The other, also in silver, has wings full of gemstones – garnet, the birthstone for January.

Sometimes it's useful to have a nagging mother. She once rambled for an entire hour about birthstones and zodiac signs after noticing that Maura's light green dress was a perfect match to her birthstone.

"There is a warm and spacious shower waiting for us," Maura whispered.

As we made our way into the bathroom, discarded clothes created a trail behind us on the floor. She switched on the shower and pulled me in. I pushed her under the spray and turned Maura around. The water was cascading through her hair, over her shoulders and down her back.

Our bodies were flush together. I ran my hands through Maura's hair and reached for the shampoo. I washed her hair slowly and lovingly rinsed. Then I squirted shower gel in my hands and foamed it up.

I started at Maura's neck, rubbing my fingers and dragging my nails down the ivory skin – over her shoulders, down her back and then when reaching her butt, I kneeled. While I soaped her thighs, calves and shins, I gently kissed her buttocks. When I stood again, I lightly sucked the spot below Maura's ear while caressing the toned belly and tenderly massaging her firm breasts.

Goose bumps followed one after another on Maura's skin. She pressed herself hard against me and her hands wrapped around to grip my bottom.

"I'm afraid we can't shower together on workdays," Maura whispered.

"Who are you and what did you with Dr. Maura 'serenity' Isles?"

She turned in my arms. "She's still there, somewhere. But you… with you I lose the very last vestiges of any self-control I had."

Maura ran her fingers down my arms and held my hands, taking her time to kiss them gently all over. No one else could pay so much attention to my sensitive hands with me simultaneously staying so calm. But more than that, I absolutely loved it. Then Maura mirrored all the moves she received from me before. After we warmed up and before the water ran cold, we dried each other off with fluffy white towels, only dressing in underwear and robes.

While Maura dried her hair, I ordered food. Then I grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses, arranged the recently arrived food onto plates and placed everything around the improvised bed. I took off my robe, then waited for Maura with only the gleam of the fire dimly lighting the area.

I heard her steps on the stairs and then she appeared, sitting down between my spread legs. She wore nothing but a low-cut front-close bra with crossed straps on the back and lace-trimmed cheeky panties.

Jesus.

I grabbed her hips and pulled her towards me – her legs over mine until the back of her knees touched my thighs.

We fed each other our dishes and some fruit I also ordered. We stayed in our position, just a small space between us and slowly sipped our wine.

I don't understand why she chose me, but I'll be damned if I complained.

With the tips of my fingers, I stroked strands of hair out of her face and then traced the path from behind her ears to her jaw. I touched every inch in her face, slowly. I stroked down her neck, over her shoulders, her collarbones, down to her chest. I touched all of her tiny freckles.

*"Voglia," I whispered.

"What?"

"Voglia, that's the name for them. It means wish or desire," I whispered back. "That's actually not correct. They are called *lentiggini. But when I was little, my Nonna explained that for every wish you made, a freckle would appear on your skin. I think she used the Italian word for birthmarks to make her story believable. She also told why I have my belly button. She said that as God created me, he tapped me there, to mark me as being finished."

Maura chuckled and I prepared myself for the scientific explanation that never came. She just smiled and touched my navel.

"That is the sweetest explanation I have ever heard. Sometimes I wish I could have grown up normal."

Her words broke my heart… just like every time she tells me about her childhood. I don't know the details, but she always seems so sad. I continued my tender loving caresses and shared more of my grandma's tales with her.

"You know at sunset on cold days when the sky is red, like it is on fire? She told me that happens 'cause the angels are baking cookies."

We locked our eyes as both of us constantly touched the other.

"When a bell rings an angel earns his wings." I leaned forward and pecked her lips slowly.

"Do you know how Nonna explained a thunderstorm?"

Maura smiled while she shook her head slightly.

"She told us that the clouds are siblings and sometimes they fight, like we do. Thunder is the sound they make while they shove each other and the lightning flashes are just the sun shining through when they push apart." I watched her relaxed face.

"I know that's really stupid, but it helped."

Maura cupped my face with both hands. "That's not stupid. Knowing what really happens doesn't make it any less frightening. Please tell me more. I love seeing the world through your eyes."

I pulled her closer, no more distance between us.

"The best story she ever shared with us was about advent candles. Every year while we decorated her house and set-up the Christmas-tree, she would explain that each candle is one piece of the human race.

One night on Christmas Eve, a long time before humans began to count years, it was deadly silent in a shanty in Jerusalem.

In every corner was a lit candle – four altogether. It was so silent you could hear the candles whisper.

The first candle sighed. 'I am peace, but humans don't want me. They fight about anything.' So her light slowly died.

The second candle flickered. 'My name is faith, but I am needless. No one wants to believe in me or God. There is no need for me to hold on.' A small breath erased the light.

Sadly the third candle whispered. 'I am love and I don't have the strength left to pretend. People set me aside all the time. They only see themselves and forget about the ones that should be loved.' With a last flicker she died, too.

The small child sleeping in the room woke and started to cry bitterly. 'You should be burning, you should be burning.'

The fourth candle started to shine brighter than all the others put together and whispered.

'My name is hope and as long as I burn, we can light all the others again.'

The child smiled heartily, clasping onto hope and lighting peace, faith and love again."

I reached up to stroke her tears away with my thumbs.

"I didn't mean to make you cry."

Maura shook her head. "I'm not sad. I'm just so happy that you share your memories with me. You so rarely let anyone close to you. Sometimes it's just overwhelming to feel the soul underneath."

*Voglia - birthmark *lentiggini - freckles

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. **Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**

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	12. Ti amo, mia cara

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

**_Maura shook her head. "I'm not sad. I'm just so happy that you share your memories with me. You so rarely let anyone close to you. Sometimes it's just overwhelming to feel the soul underneath."_**

Maura's POV

Jane's body looks just perfect. The flicking fire only makes her skin look even more warm and inviting. The black of her garments fits perfectly with her hair and skin.

Her eyes are only glistening black pools in the near darkness. I've never experienced before how erotic and sensual touches could be. I have no sense of time anymore, but we've had to have been sitting here over an hour.

I am in her lap, my legs around her waist. She is wearing plain cotton underwear. She could wear anything and be just as sexy. She either doesn't know or doesn't accept it.

We touch each other lightly, just fingertips, no pressure. I am so turned on and she is also. I can see it. Her eyes are only pupils now, she's slightly sweating just like me and her aroma isn't helping to keep me at bay.

Her nipples are rock-hard and showing through the fabric of her bra. Mine are just as hard, but I'm not ready for more. Not yet.

I am learning. I have to learn my own body with her and that seems ridiculous.

It's my profession to know anatomy and every process in the human body. I know every inch of skin and I know every erogenous zone. I know the exactly numbers of nerve endings of every part.

However, I am discovering parts of me with her that I didn't even know I could feel.

All of this isn't about release anymore and if our… well… it even feels wrong to use the word sex in my head. If our iterations in bed hold any promise for our lives, well in that case I woke up in paradise last Friday morning.

I only pray that I give her as much joy as she bestows on me.

While her fingertips run from my jaw down over my throat, my head sinks back to my nape. Suddenly I feel her lips at my jugular notch, the tip of her tongue tickles over my skin there.

We haven't been kissing the whole time, but with me bending my head back, I break our constant gaze.

Her lips feel like magma on my skin. I wouldn't be surprised to see burn marks where she kisses me.

She trails over my chest to the swells of my breasts, spreading kisses over all the uncovered skin. As she moves to small, soft sucking kisses, I begin to reach for the clasp of my bra, but she stops me.

"Not now," she whispers hoarsely and skims lightly over the fabric.

"Don't take that wrong, please," she strokes my face. "I like it when you are barely covered. It is more aesthetically pleasing than bare skin." She kisses me tenderly.

"As I said don't get me wrong, I like you naked as much as dressed. But this is like… like presents. You are never as excited as just before you unwrap them, no matter how perfect the presents are."

I smile at her. She didn't need to explain it. She couldn't have said anything lovelier. She couldn't be more demonstrative of how much she cares.

Jane's hands slides onto my shoulder blades and she leans us both down and starts to kiss my stomach and I can feel the friction her abs cause against my sex. I hold my breath for a moment or two or three.

Had she done all of this our first night together I already would have come three times. Even now I still need a lot of concentration, my body isn't accustomed to so much tenderness and attention.

I use my breathing techniques from yoga to compensate for my arousal. I want to enjoy her and enjoy her a lot.

Although I am really worked up, I'm sure I can go without a climax right now.

My whole body hums in satisfaction, liberation, harmony, love.

As she lays me gently down, I am also sure we will not get much sleep tonight.

She starts all over again. She touches every inch of me with her fingertips and mirrors her motions with her lips afterwards – from my forehead to my ankles.

She kneels down between my calves and lifts my left leg. She presses light kisses to the bottom of my foot. This could be my undoing. I never knew I was that sensitive there.

"Jane," I whisper.

She seems to know what I was about to say because she puts my foot down gently and whispers back to me.

"Just for now, Maura," as she resumes kissing me – painfully slow, sucking kisses beginning at my left ankle.

As she reaches my neck, she turns me over. Jane didn't miss an inch except for the part of me that is still covered and now she's worshipping my backside. I can feel every nerve twitching and twisting.

I am notably sensitive to her touch between my shoulder blades. I am putty in her hands. On her way up she replaces her hands and mouth with her own skin, slowly sliding on top of my back.

She takes my hands and laces our fingers together, one of each side of my head. She nibbles softly the skin underneath my ear and I can hear her breathing.

"I love you, I am in love with you," she whispers hoarsely.

"I am in love with your eyes, they are my favorite part of you," she hums.

"I love your voice, Jane," I get out, more a moan than words. Good God that voice is my prevailing vice. She is my vice.

"Your hands. They seem rough yet they are so soft. I spent countless many nights thinking about what they could do to me," my voice rasps.

She hums again and it sends lightning through my whole body.

"I'm in love with your gorgeous smile." She kisses my ear.

"I'm in love with your beautiful mind," she nibbles my earlobe. I have to catch my breath. I don't know how she does it but the suggestion is creeping over me that she is about to talk me into climax. I can feel my heart pounding against my ribcage.

"I'm in love with all of your quirks," our hands are still intertwined. Low voiced moans are now leaving my lips. I move my body underneath her. She kisses my neck and the tip of her tongue touches my skin. I am on fire.

"I am also in love with your beautiful hands and your killer legs," her voice is raw and deep and drones through every fibre of me.

"Your sexy stomach and your godlike rear. Do you have any idea how often I forgot what I was about to do when I watched your butt in those damn skin-tide clothes?"

"Jane," I moan. "You are mere seconds away from talking me into an orgasm." I don't remember my own voice even more.

*"Ti amo, mia cara. Ti amo tanto," and that's it.

The combination of her using Italian and moaning it into my ear is my undoing.

I can barely hold onto anything. My brain is nothing but mush. I hear myself groaning and moaning. I register words tumbling out of my mouth like 'God' or 'Jane' or both together.

My body is shaking underneath her. I can feel her lips on my neck and they don't help me get my movements under control. I can hardly get oxygen into my lungs. My heart is pumping burning lava through my veins.

"I love you, my ravishing beauty," she whispers and it vaults me back where I was coming from.

I clasp her hands harder. I need to hold on for dear life. I am going to lose myself. I love her need to stay close to me. Like everything with her, even this is different.

I was always thankful that most men had the habit of scooting away from me once they were done. She stays, we both stay. I am experiencing a whole new sexuality with her and my preferences are shifting completely.

"Sleep, my sweet girl," I hear her whispering. I know she only wants the best for me, but right now I want anything but sleep.

I need to kiss her. I need her skin under my fingers, under my lips and my tongue. I need to feel her. I need to love her. My thumbs stroke over hers.

"I want to kiss you," I whisper and she lifts herself to let me turn. She slowly sinks back down on me and rests on her forearms. I wrap my hands softly around her biceps.

I adore her musculature and I love watching them twitching under my touch. She kisses my lower lip and runs the tip of her tongue over it. I kiss her nose. I always perceived that as a gesture of affection and I want her to feel that.

She really deserves to be loved. If you're lucky enough to get into her heart, nothing else that happens in your life will surpass Jane Rizzoli. I smile at her. My lips close gently around her lower lip, pulling it away slowly and then repeating it again and again.

One of my greatest desires is watching her eyes when we kiss.

I admire her chocolate colored eyes, so dark but so warm. They sparkle every time our lips touch. Her eyes are definitely the windows to her soul, as they say.

She moans as I run the tip of my tongue over hers. We share a long, slow and loving kiss. It is never a battle for domination. It is more a sensual dance, like making love in our mouths. I move my hands and run my fingertips up and down her spine.

*"I love you, my dear. I love you so much."

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be ****awesome**. 

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	13. walking sex

**I post two chapters today because I don't feel to add more into this short one. Hope you like it anyway. **

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

**_She moans as I run the tip of my tongue over hers. We share a long, slow and loving kiss. It is never a battle for domination. It is more a sensual dance, like making love in our mouths. I move my hands and run my fingertips up and down her spine._**

Maura's POV

I unclasp her bra and loosen it slowly, tossing it aside. My hands running over her buttocks and the back of her thighs as I lead her legs to the outside of mine. I use the strength of my abdomen to lift us both into a sitting position and simultaneously guide her calves around me.

I run my fingertips upwards until I meet the hem of her panties. I slow down my motions. I want to enjoy every inch of the muscles on her stomach.

I don't think anyone in her former love life ever showed her how irresistible she is. She is walking sex without knowing it.

She groans as I run my nails over her skin. I use both of my index fingers to trace every muscle of her body and as I reach her back I simultaneously start kissing her front.

I can hear her every breath. Her head is dipped back, her lips are slightly parted and her hands flat on my shoulders, nails lightly scraping my skin.

I let the tip of my tongue circle her areola before I lick softly over her nipple. I mirror my action on the other breast and as I close my lips around it she starts to move against my belly.

My hands slide onto her shoulder blades and I let her sink back a bit, creating more friction against her center. I continue to suck gently on her breast and start to constrict and relax my pubococcygeus muscles, the muscle of my pelvic base. It causes my stomach to move and increases her pleasure.

I watch her face. Her eyes are closed. Every tendon in her neck is visible. I can see her larynx move every time she swallows. Her jaw clenching and unclenching. Her lids flickering. Her lips parting more and more, until her mouth looks like a voiceless scream.

God, I think I will never get enough of this sight.

I am in an odd stage of arousal. Another experience I only share with Jane. I am turned on but pleasuring her is satisfying me.

Her breathing is getting louder. I can feel her muscles spasm. Her weight more and more is carried by me. I never feel as strong as when I hold her, catch her, protect her. I feel her whole body stiffen. Then I feel a dark grumble rolling from the deep of her stomach, through her chest and throat over her lips.

Then 'Monti Rizzoli'* erupts in my arms.

*mountain - referring to Monti Cimini (volcano in Italy)

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awsome. **

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**

**The second one follows later today...**


	14. You are guessing here

**Second Chapter for today! **

**Somehow my beta is missing... so all of the misstakes are on me :)  
**

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

**_Her breathes are getting louder. I can feel her muscles spasm. Her weight more and more is carried by me. I never feel this strong as when I hold her, catch her, protect her. I feel her whole body stiffen for some seconds._** **_I feel a dark grumble rolling from the deep of her stomach, through her chest and throat over her lips._**

**_Then *'Monti Rizzoli' erupt in my arms. _**

Maura's POV

I lie awake in my bed. It is our last day off. Martin Luther King Day. Jane's warm body is wrapped around my back, her right hand on my belly. I could forever stay here. I think about the past week.

Nine days and ten nights, with a small break on last Monday, only Jane and I. Jane and I and a lot of profound conversations, a lot of fun and more than a lot of divine love and fabulous orgasms.

On Wednesday I got tickets for TD Garden, Boston Celtics versus Minenesota Timberwolves. Celtics won 113:96. I never saw a basketball game. I would do it anytime again.

I love to see her having fun and she had a lot of fun. I let her eat and drink whatever she wanted without nagging about her dietary-habits. I bought actual season jerseys for both of us. In gratitude for a perfect night from a Rizzoli-point of view I got a sleepless night and four spectacular climaxes. One in the shower, one onto the sink in the bathroom and two in bed.

On Thursday she offered do something I like and we went to the Museum of Science. Although she would never admit it I am sure she had fun. Afterwards we had dinner at Blackstrap BBQ.

Bribing Jane with food of her choice performs miracles. I really don't know from where she gets her endurance but on Friday I am exhausted in a way that I am voluntary spend the day in bed with takeout for lunch and dinner, hours of cuddling and out of consideration to my sore body just one round of tenderly but not less intense lovemaking.

Saturday we went together to Letterie's Italian and to Central Seafood Market and afterwards I couldn't stop being amazed. Jane Rizzoli is a phenomenally cook. She made me promise to never tell her mother, otherwise she will never cooking with me again.

It wasn't implicit the meal we cooked, although it was delicious. It was the way we interact which made me unbelievable happy and in love all over again.

After I prepared all ingredients on the counter to start dinner I felt Jane pressed up against my back. She slid her arms around me.

"You need some help there, Maura?" she whispered.

"I'm not sure you are helping with being this near to me," I answered faintly.

"Nah, I have some secretly skills," she murmured.

"I am sure you have but that wouldn't help getting dinner ready," I groaned.

Jane shook her head lightly. "Nah, nah, Doctor. You are guessing here," she laughed.

"What are we cooking anyway?" she asked.

"Black Sea turbot 'caprese' with ricotta ravioli," I answered.

"That sounds pretty fancy," she smiled and roamed through the ingredients. "Pomodoro San Marzano dell'Agro Sarnese Nocerino, Mozzarella di Bufala Campana," she whispered as she touched tomatoes and the buffalo mozzarella.

I must have looked at her in shock, because she answered. "What. Just 'cause my fridge only holds beer, cheese, ketchup and olives doesn't mean I have no idea. Look I am not as fancy as you are and I don't care for your niminy-piminy food but my Nonna taught me a lot about cooking and the basic foodstuffs. I couldn't even tell you what kind of fish that is if you would hold a gun to my head. But…, I can cook."

"Are you leading or I?" she whispered rough directly beneath my ear and caused me to shiver. It took me some seconds to remember why she would ask such a thing.

I took hold of her hands. With our right hands we took the knife and on the left side the foods changed while we handled them.

"Well your fingers are capable to more than to slash dead bodies," she rasped as we filleted the fish.

"I thought I already demonstrated the abilities of my fingers more than once," I smirked back.

"Wow, Dr. Isles you are some pretty, sassy ass there," she breathed and I wiggled the same as called against her pelvis.

"Mhh. Have I ever told you how good your hair smell, Maura." Her nose nuzzled trough my locks. "Do you want to know what's my 'Pavlov's Dog' is?"

I giggled but didn't correct her.

"Well obviously your smell but what get's me every time is that damn clicking of your heels. That's like a hypnotising drumbeat." She pushed my front softly against the counter. "If I knew there would be hope that you know what I mean I would tell you it's like in Jumanji."

I had to laugh. "If you believe it or not, I have watched it. Involuntarily, but I have watched it. So I know exactly what you are referring to."

She trapped my fingers between hers and grabbed the salt grinder. "Well… I would really like to know how you where forced to watch such an useless stuff."

I chuckled about her remark but my face went sad as I thought about it. "During an internship, there was a small child. Terminally ill. An orphan child. Nobody came to see this child and one afternoon I mustered all my courage and sat down beside his bed and watched him sleeping. As he woke he smiled so brightly it nearly broke my heart. So we ended up watching this movie together."

"Wow…," she whispered and as sad as this story ended for the little boy and for me, I was not willed to let our mood shift. I turned my head and kissed her pulse point.

I moved our hands again and we filled the fish with tomatoes, mozzarella and basil. Put some olive oil into the pan and while it fried we cooked the raviolis. We prepared pesto and picked a wine together. All of it my back pressed to her front, fingers interlaced.

We served the food and sat down in front of the fire place onto the floor and fed each other.

It wasn't that we had profound conversations during our cooking or endless laughed, it was the fact that it was never too much to be close to her that made it so invaluable for me. Jane already felt like my own skin, belonging to me.

I teased her over two hours before I released her and she endowed me with her unbelievable gifted tongue.

Sunday morning she surprised me with an oddly substantial breakfast in bed and we had lunch at Café Rossettis before we made the way home.

Sunday dinner at Rizzoli's appeared as acutely complicated. Thanks to my tinted windows they did not caught us 'in flagrante delicto' kissing in their driveway. But once inside it was difficultly not to cause their attention.

My first mistake was to wear a skirt. I hadn't thought about Jane and her touchy-feely fingers. So I spent the evening stammering, blushing, breath- and speechless and the worst of it I was highly aroused.

My second mistake was to be aroused and my third was to drown my wine in hopes of calming my nerves.

I am sure my whole behaviour was one awkward scenario.

But as Jane would say 'Payback is a bitch'. And said bitch was waiting behind my front door.

She has baseball practice today and I am not sure she can even walk properly.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.  
**

******Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**

Next chapter we'll get the story moving… :)


	15. Boston Strangler Part I

**So, here we are, the first case. I think you know, just like me, every EP inside out. I found it somehow hard to re-tell the cases we all know at heart, so I tried to focus not that much at that, there will be new cases in between. **

** I don't know if I am happy with this one… hope you like it anyway.**

** So. I found my beta again** – **OxymoronForLife's dog is ill (hope it all goes well) – so all mistakes are on me – will be corrected at time…**

** POSTING 2 chapter's today… as in the whole case… Part two follows a bit later…**

See Author's Note (Chapter One)

**_But as Jane would say 'Payback is a bitch'. And said bitch was waiting behind my front door. She has baseball practice today and I am not sure she can even walk properly. _**

Jane's POV

After a shower together we left towards the ballpark. Practice-match Homicide versus DCU.

Our usually banter between the units was in full swing two minutes in the game. It was warm this month, not as summer-hot, but much too warm for January. Strange.

I was next at bat. Maura was rambling about a perfect stance and I had a look over to her. She's wearing a skin tight outfit, reminded me a bit of a diver's suit. A man was standing beside her, his eyes roamed over her body.

_Year cuss, watch and cry! _

She didn't even register him until he piped up. I don't know what he had said but my mood was already slightly pissed 'cause we had to leave the house and after teasing her at my parents house I couldn't even walk straight.

She smiled at him and her attention turned back to me. She rambled on about wind and gave me some advises about the stance again. It was defiantly not the best hit but she showed off like I had a hit a homerun. Shit-face behind the fence prattled on and somehow Maura got ready for her turn.

Okay that hood looked really stupid.

She hit the ball. Respect!

While she started her lap a body touched down in the middle of the park. So far with the day off! Now I was really pissed and I was afraid it would not get any better. Frankie and Frost brought a hub-cab from a 1960 Crysler 300.

Like I said hardly arrived at HQ the worst case happened. Ass-head Grant turned out to be our new Lieutenant and Crow already had his head all the way up into his ass. I had enough, down to the morgue. I would rather watch millions of autopsies than one minute with Grant in a room together.

Maura informed me about her results and I vented my spleen over Grant. I totally forgot dinner with my family. Maura couldn't accompany me because of the DB but she spurred me on to leave for dinner.

I thought again this day couldn't get worst, it could.

My mother jawed on about marriage, husbands and children. It was eating me to yell at her that I spent the most part of my last weekend and the whole week after it loving the most incredible human being on earth.

My mother care about us, but like all mothers in the world most of the time she's annoying.

Sad for the victim but luck for me I could escape my mother as operator calls. The drive to the crime scene I spent thinking. Maura and I had spoken about enjoying our relationship for some time but at some point we have to face it. I hope my family will take it well.

I am raised catholic and my mother is really religious but I pray that she will turn out like I think. My mother is really annoying and snoopy and nagging all the time but underneath she is the loving, caring and insightful person I know. I hope the love for me is enough to help her accept Maura at my side. My father just loves me, us. He is what people call modest. He is just fine with everything.

So I met Maura at the crime scene. Two victims with the same MO in one day, boy something smelled to high heaven there. I should have played the lottery today.

Our two victims had identically names like victims from the BOSTON STRANGLER!

Man that case nearly cleaned Boston from the map and fucking Grant cuts me short. Ignorant bastard!

Kosak and I spent hours down in the basement rummaging through old files. We tried to convince Kenny Leahy, one of the Detectives at the strangler-case, to help us. I think he's a bit strange.

I made my way down to the morgue again to bring the old case files to Maura and found her cuddling with Frost.

I watched them amused for some moments. She tried to help him with his sickening by death. I startled them and Frost looked like I had kicked his puppy. While we looked over the evidence together I couldn't resist my urge to caress Maura's face, she is so sweet.

Now I am lying in her tube thinking about the day as she enters the room in nothing but a black lace see-through robe carrying a glass of wine and a bottle of Blue Moon. That could turn out interesting.

She places both on the wood beside the in-floor-embedded tube nearly as big as my damn whole bathroom. She let her robe slowly sliding over her shoulder, pooling around her feet and steps into the water like Cleopatra herself.

She sits down between my legs and lays back, her head on my shoulder. Her hands are slowly caressing my thighs and I press small, soft pecks to her neck. Her hair tickles my chest.

"Like to talk about it?" she whispers.

I close my arms around her and my fingertips stroke her firm belly. "I don't know Maura, this can end really badly. A lot of cops lost their jobs or their family, their lives."

"If it calms you, you don't have to worry about me. I know how much you sacrifice your self for the victims," she only whispers.

Her left hand leaves my leg and she touches my cheek, brush along my jaw, across my ear into my hair. "I love how much you care."

She pulls my head down, stretches her neck and kisses me tenderly. She snuggles her face against mine.

"Yeah but fucking Grant doesn't let me do my fucking job," I hiss.

She doesn't correct my language and I wonder why. Instead her right hand slides up further and makes it way between us.

"I don't want to defend him but it is his first day and already such a though case. Maybe you two need just time and if you not come along feel free to curse as much as you like. In here."

She starts caressing me, just slightly. No pressure, bare movements.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She takes a long breath. "I thought we could use this as a passage from work to private. If we have a rough day or a tough case I use to lay here and reflect the day and let it go. I thought we can do this together now. I don't like to take work to bed," she talks the whole time only whispering.

"That's sounds like a good idea," I answer her and begin to mirror her motions.

While we talk muted further about the case and our thoughts we bring each other very slowly and gently to a well relieving climax. Just caressing and whispering.

While we dry each other off, I think about that we just now created our first shared tradition, a nice and well combination of colleagues, friends and lovers. After we finish our night routine I spoon her in bed and we kiss goodnight.

I lay awake but I don't think about the case although I think the case is to blame for my insomnia. I think about this warm and soft bundle in my arms. I learn so much about her every day and it seems she touches and calls up some places in me I didn't thought I had.

I want to be better for her, softer, more loving. I know I can be terrible and I am, outside our comforting nest. I can't help myself. I have to be 'Detective Rizzoli' outside our safe-zone. I just have to be.

I had to fight hard to be one of them and they respect me. Yes, they talk about me, they insult me behind my back, inveigh against me and my manners. But they still respect me.

It is so easy to love her and to be nice and loving and caring around her. I'm so happy. I feel constantly to burst from inside out, but I'm just as afraid as happy. I know I will screw this up a lot of times and I can't bear the thought of losing her.

I have to try to be better, for her, for us. I want this. I want this, us, like nothing before in my life. I watch her sleeping. God she's so pretty without her make-up and I'm so proud to be the one to see her like this. For her it is a real big deal. No one get's to see her less than perfect and it means so much to me.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome. **

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	16. Boston Strangler Part II

**Chapter 2 for today.**

**Thank you very much for all your reviews and support. I am flattered from your response, regardless of whether as review or PM. Thank you very, very much. ****Apparently Oxy's dog is on his way to get better, thank God!**  


See Author's Note (Chapter One)

_**I have to try to be better, for her, for us. I want this. I want this, us, like nothing before in my life. I watch her sleeping. God she's so pretty without her make-up and I'm so proud to be the one to see her like this. For her it is a real big deal. No one gets to see her less than perfect and it means so much to me.**_

Jane and Frost discuss the case. "This…This is Helen Blake," Jane hands over some papers to Frost while Frankie walks into the bullpen.

"Okay and after that…," her brother cuts her of. "You said I wouldn't make a good detective." He drops an envelope on her desk.

"That's not what I said," she answered without looking. "We have 294 woman with the same names as the other 11 victims. And we got to find a way to let them know…," she leans over her desk while Frankie watches her.

"Open it up," he says. Jane stops ignoring him and looked up into his face, open mouth. "I took a bunch of photos at the softball field and… and at your second vic's apartment." Jane presses her lips together and nods.

"And you're always saying that the killer might try to sightsee in a crowd of ghouls, so," he rambles on.

"Thank you. Thank you so much," Jane takes the envelope and lays it aside.

Frankie points at the desk, "A…aren't you even gonna look at them?"

Jane breathes before she turns her head back to him, stressed out. "Can't right now. There's a strangler on the loose."

Grant burst into the bullpen. "Rizzoli!" he yells but turned to Frankie. "Hey Frankie, come find me later. I need to talk to you."

He walks up to Jane's desk and holds up some news papers. "Thanks. Really nice first day. I got the mayor, the commissioner, every news agency, hell I even got my own mother crawling up my ass." He throws the papers on her desk.

She shakes her head. "I'm not your leak." Jane makes a face and her voice is dripping wet with glee. "Can't stand the heat, go back to the drug unit."

"Strike two Rizzoli," he mutters.

Jane already pissed is yanking a paper from the bunch on her desk and nearly rubs it into his face. "I am working the case!"

"Really?" he asks sarcastically. "Let's see… Oh, I get it… you're gonna call every Mary Sullivan in the State of Massachusetts and tell her the Boston Strangler's looking for her. I am setting up a task force. From now on, everything in this case runs through me. And I want updates from you very 10 minutes."

While he's nagging at Jane, Crowe walks up to the window and pulls the shade down. "Hey, they're towing your car, Rizzoli."

That's just what Jane needs right now. She gets all nervous while waiting for the elevator to arrive at the main floor. Thank heaven's Leahy talked Big Mo off and saved her car. They talk about the strangler case as he hands her his personal files. Upstairs, Jane and Frost go through Kenny's files and find a name: Redmond Jones. He'd been locked up for rape until two days before the killings.

Frost and Rizzoli visit Redmond's mother, with Kenny. She's a foul-mouthed old racist who stalls them until Kenny grabs Redmond around back.

Jane has to break them up. They each take a shot, and Redmond ends up bleeding. She notices his empty garage and a picture of an old car that matches the hubcap Frankie found. Redmond claims it was recently stolen. He accuses Kenny of being the killer.

Back at the station, Jane looks at Frankie's photos and finds the same guy in them. They confirm Kenny was getting dialysis when the first victim was killed. They run the guy through facial recognition software and find his name is Sandy; he runs a website on ligature strangulation.

At his apartment, they find a shrine to strangling with pictures of corpses everywhere.

In interrogation, he claims to be a 'death enthusiastic.' They're interrupted when Korsak tells them they have a third victim.

At the crime scene, Maura crouches beside the victim and looks down at her thermometer. "Liver temp indicates she dies within the last hour." Jane is standing behind the chair the victim is sitting on. Her arms crossing in front of her chest and her face is pissed as hell. She moves her upper body and animates air quotes while she determines that it wasn't the "death enthusiast".

"Well…at least he's not blogging," Frost tries to say as plain as possible.

Jane leans against the border of the bookshelf, arms still crossed. "Thanks for pointing out the bright side," her response is dripping wet with sarcasm.

Maura jumps in to save poor Frost from Jane's mood. "Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh have proven that optimistic people live longer." Only to pull Jane's sarcasm onto herself.

The female detective leans her left arm against the corner of the wall and her right makes it to her own hip. "So she was a pessimist," she asks sarcastically. Maura glances at her and if she were Jane this one would ask 'Really?'

Frost lifts her drivers licence. "Joanne Graff, twenty-nine."

Jane walks over to crouch down beside the victim. "A Joanne Graff was strangled in 1962 by the Boston Strangler." She strokes with the back of her hand over the victims left arm and her attention is turning to a patch on the scarf wound around the neck.

"Maura…," she pulls the victims hair aside. "What do you see?"

The M.E. leans over and while looking at it she answers. "A reddish-brown stain." Turning her look towards Jane's face.

"In other words, blood." It isn't more a statement than a question.

Maura shakes her head. "No. A reddish-brown stain. The crime lab will determine what it is." She raises and scribbles down on her clipboard. "No signs of lacerations or abrasions on the victim."

Jane's face lightens up a bit. "So it's not hers, which means we might have gotten lucky and the killer was bleeding." Frost's phone is ringing.

The doctor moves her head and facial expressions in a 'don't jump to conclusions' way and Jane adds more for Maura's benefit. "Or smearing reddish-brown stuff."

"Thanks," Frost says and turns his attention over to the women. "We got lucky. Red's car has been located. Towing it to the evidence now."

Jane claps her hands. "See? You just got to remain optimistic," she said smiling brightly while walking past Frost to leave the crime scene.

Arriving at HQ, Big Mo puts down the car in front of the building and Jane starts to examine it. She finds a cloth with blood in the trunk. Happy about her discovery, she notices that her car gets towed and right on the top of her bad mood Maura calls.

Frost and Jane come through opposite door and both of them storms into the lab.

"Great news… We got a hit on the blood you found on the second victim's blouse." Maura's says while hanging up the phone and turn around.

"Who does it belong to?" Jane asks and Maura answers. "Redmond Jones."

A big and bright smile creeps slowly over Jane's face. "Guys, I think we just found the 'Boston Strangler'."

Maura smiles happily. "We should let Lieutenant Grant know," Frost says and while he dials Jane grinned more. "Let's bring this sucker home."

While Jane and Frost walk up from the right side of the building into the entrance hall from the other side the new 'Task-Force' strolls in: Grant, three of his asskisser's, and Frankie.

"The task force will take it from here," Grant informs her smugly while he dresses up his coat.

"Y… You can't do that. It's my case," Jane spit at him and watches him in disbelief.

"Well, you're part of the task force. Come along if you like."

Crowe slide his face up to her. "Yeah. Come along, it'll be fun."

She stops Frankie from following them. "You're squeezing the orange, huh, Frankie? You getting some juice? That's a fast way to make Detective."

That's how life goes, you did all the whole work and some asses reach for the prize. And your own brother is in on it. She get rid off her parents and while everyone congratulates Grant for his big break-through, she let go of her frustration by hammering her cell phone into the metallic wall of the elevator.

Jane's POV

Well… I don't know how I feel just right now. Betrayed, cheated, frustrated. I would like to pull a blanket over my head, snuggle into Maura and never see daylight again. How is it possible, two days ago I was so happy and now... Now I am sitting here, just staring into space. Frost is as down as I am.

Korsak walks in, sits down on my desk and touches my shoulder. He offers his commiserations. I am thinking, thinking. This whole fucking shit smells to hell.

I complain about their celebration, but that's not really what stinks the most. I grab a sheet of paper from my desk and explain to him how impossible it is to have nothing for forty years and then suddenly... Maura always tells me that forensic evidence doesn't waver, doesn't lie and doesn't change its mind. And while I mutter this though out loud I got an idea.

I walk over into B.R.I.C.'s and we check the camera opposite the clinic Leahy went to. And there he is. Coming out all dressed up five minutes after entering. I need Maura to test something. I run down to the morgue and as I circle the divider standing between the two autopsy tables I freeze in shock.

There is Leahy standing pointing a gun to my girl's head. He demands me to give up my gun.

As I reach for it Maura pleads not to listen to him. I pull my gun slowly out and watch her scared face. I don't know what to do. I struggle as he yells at her. Nothing's worth putting her in more danger than she already is but I signal her with my eyes to the tray with scalpels and other instruments on her left side.

I know she never would hurt anybody, but this is life or death. I beg with my eyes for her to do it.

With one last glance at Maura, I bent down and put my gun slowly onto the floor. She is terribly frightened. I detect the bat leaning against the wall. Slowly I kick my gun to the right side of the room.

I distract him with talking and as Maura senses her chance she grabs the scalpel and rams it into his right leg. He screams in pain, Maura pushes him away and pulls up a nice kick to his weapon. It slides across the room. I grab the bat and let it come down onto his back until he is flat on the ground.

I have to suppress the urge to smash his head. But Maura's totally dry quotation of the word 'homerun' snaps me out back into reality.

I throw the bat over my shoulder and answer as dry as she did. "No. Just a base hit," and I just start to laugh.

I kneel down and cuff that shit-head. "You okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah," she answers immediately, take an audible breath. "Yeah."

After booking that damn bastard, Maura and I agree to a drink at the Robber, letting some of the weight of the day fall – not wanting to take all of it home with us.

We sit in total silence and just drink. Two men are watching me from a table not far away.

"Can we just talk about something? Anything?" she asks me with a sad expression on her face.

I think a moment about what I can just say right now and then my opportunity walks up.

I smile briefly. "Okay wait. There are two kinds of guys. The one that hates I'm a cop and the kind that wants me to use the handcuffs." I smile again. "Okay, watch this."

She looks over to the man who is walking up to us. "Ready?" I flash my badge. "Shabow." She starts laughing. "See ya." She laughs more and mutters. "That was fast."

The man still sitting at the table is waving and I smile at him. Maura is still laughing. "I'm smiling. I like handcuffs." I quote his thoughts. "All right," I put my badge down again. She is still laughing. Mission 'making Maura smiling again' complete.

Just as our mood is getting better Grant walks up. He asks to sit with us and pulls a beat-around-the-bush apology out of his ass.

"You saw me looking, but I wasn't looking at your paper."

Did he just really say that?

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.**

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	17. Don't

**This will be an extra long chapter before we are heading over to the next case. Maybe the hardest chapter ever, thinking 3 day's about and 2 to write it.**

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

"_**You saw me looking, but I wasn't looking at your paper." **_

_**Did he just really say that?**_

Maura's POV

I have barely eaten something, on the contrary to Jane. I am sure she can eat everywhere, everything and every time. I think it is some kind of normalcy for her. Something to hang on, to stay alive, to keep her feet on the ground after a tough case. She has fixed habits to cast off the darkness she has to deal with: baseball, kickboxing and eating.

I have those habits, too. Different habits.

I rushed through Boarding-school. Skipped three grades and started my study of medicine at Harvard University at fifteen. I acquired my Bachelor of Science in half the usually needed time by seventeen. My Doctor of Medicine took also half of the time, of what is usual to graduate. So I earned my M.D by nineteen and finished my dissertation at Boston Cambridge University to achieve Doctor of Philosophy in Forensic Pathology, Physiology and Biochemistry the next year. At twenty-two, I finished my study of pathology and went on for studying forensic pathology for another two years. I spend one year at the Langley Porter Neuropsychiatric Institute studying Facial Action Coding System.

By twenty-five, I turned my back to all of this in exchange for a month of peace in Nepal. After this I went two years working with medicines sans frontier and by twenty-seven I started my employment in San Francisco as a medical examiner and last June the Governor offered me the position as the Chief Medical Examiner of the State of Massachusetts. I am slightly sure I did not get this position just because of my high professionalism and education. While I established my reputation in San Francisco, that is not deniable, but I think my mother, Constance Isles, born and raised in one of Boston's well-known and wealthy families, had a finger in that pie.

I am drifting. Nepal. I am in awe with the high art of the spiritual rituals to create the balance of power and forces of nature. After completing my dissertation, I spent a whole month in peaceful seclusion at the Himalayan International Yoga Academy & Research Center. I practiced yoga, meditation, Pancha Karma, reflector massage, acupuncture and ayurvedic life style. I needed this time for me.

I use meditation very often. Every time I feel the need to refuel myself I spent some minutes on breathing exercises or muscle relaxation. I use yoga and jogging to release stress and tension.

"Don't," I wrap my finger around her wrists. Stopping her hands from creeping up further under my top. My eyes finding hers. I never reject her and I can see she is confused but she isn't hurt or angry. I pull her hands out and herself closer to me until she is on top.

I nuzzle my nose into her hair, breath her scent on her neck.

"I don't want to use you," I barely whisper. Her hands are on my upper arms. "I never was in a situation like that and I tend to use my sexual partner for much less than what happened today."

"What happened to 'I will always support you and take every step with you'? I am not fragile either, Maura."

I kiss the spot under her ear. "I know but I am not sure if I want to cross this line right now. I am much too comfortable with us. I don't know what will happen if I allow myself right now to suffer."

"Don't give to much importance to it. You can't scare me away that easy."

I pull her face into my sight. "I don't know how much I will hurt you, but you have to understand me."

I have to talk further before she misunderstands me.

"I used men, always. Just to get what I needed. On nights like this, when I can't feel anything but sadness, I tend to bend my own rules."

Her thumb caresses my lower lip. "What rules Maura?"

"Stern rules. I don't know if I can explain it to you to understand. I need rules. I needed rules to make sure not to lose myself."

I kiss her lips softly but briefly. "My only intention was always to have sex with them, nothing more. So I created rules. I never brought anyone into my bed. That is my own castle. I didn't have spare rooms in San Francisco so I only had sex in hotel rooms and always in a bed. I never let anyone undress me and I never stayed the night. I am always the devoted one. That changes on nights like this."

I don't know what she is thinking about me but I am afraid it is the worst. I stroke her face and intensifier our locked glance.

"No need to worry, baby." I smile at her. "I am not about to tell you that I have deviant sexual preferences."

She smiles back. "No? I am disappointed here, Maura."

"No. I am afraid I am not even what some men at work prefer to call me. They would be terribly frustrated with me."

"I can't complain about anything," she smiles. I don't know how she can stay that so easily. I thought this conversation would be getting difficult. The main point for me is to distract her from wanting to sleep with me until she understands.

"Maybe you can't complain," I answer also smiling. "I was always the receiving end," I wonder if she know what I am talking about.

She looks at me puzzled for some seconds and I can see her gears shifting.

"Oh…oh. No blowjob from the doctor."

"Jane," I swat her arm. "But no, and also no anal penetration."

"God, Maura. Don't bother about sex anymore. My libido just made a hart-stop." She mocks laughing.

"There are a lot of benefits about a…," her hand is on my mouth as fast as she can. "Don't. Just don't. That's maybe a topic for another day far into the future."

She removes her hand. "Okay, go on, but I got the point that you are not in kinky stuff, so let all the information about that just slip."

"Okay. On nights like this I am anything but devote. I tell them exactly what to do and not really the nice way."

Jane chuckles. "I am dying to see that," she laughs. "No. Joke aside. Go on."

"I love you, Jane. I love you and I already did things with you I never did before and I don't know where this will lead us tonight. Yes, I am dying to touch you right now but I am too afraid to let go. Nothing of my usually stress reduction works. "

Her facial muscles soften and she comes closer. "What do you do usually?" she asks.

"Yoga, meditation…," she kisses me. "Wait," she scoots of me and grabs my tablet.

I don't know what she is doing but I let her and after some minutes she slides between the back of the couch and me.

"How about that?" she asks and shows me my tablet. "I have no idea how that works but I am sure I know some geeky doctor who knows anything." She beams at me.

Well… I am speechless. I stare onto my tablet and have no idea who that woman beside me is anymore. Instead of being hurt or angry about my rejection or being horrified about my confessions, she is just calm and looking for a solution.

"We don't have to follow any rules, we can do what ever we like."

"Fine," she kisses me and helps me up. "Um… I don't know. It is somehow awkward but we have to get ready…"

I pull her into an embrace. "It doesn't have to be, just go upstairs. Run a bath and I'll take care of the rest," I whisper against her lips.

I have neither done that before. I am standing in our bedroom… I just can't even think of it as 'mine' anymore. Bed? That could get a bit messy. I am just about to think fuck the mattress as I have an idea.

I walk into my dresser and pull out the footstool to reach for the top of my shelves. I pull out a stack of blankets and some white sheets. I push aside the arm chairs in the bedroom and build a bed for us in front of the fireplace.

After piling up five layers of blankets and pillows, I cover everything with three sheets and position two more to the side. I light a fire and walk back into my closet to undress.

I shut down the light in the bedroom and enter the bathroom. Jane was already in the tub.

"Wow Maura, I see you picked up your birthday suite from dry cleaning," she smiles at me.

If she had brought up this idiom with me not being naked, I think I would have missed it. I step into the water and walk over to her. She immediately reaches out for my thighs and as she kisses the bone on my hip I notice where her face is.

"Spina iliaca anterior superior," I whisper. I need a familiar terrain to restrain myself. Even if my scientific facts will become mostly a sexual flavor if we play this game more often. I remember our first night and she seems to pick up that line also.

"Aponeurosis," I name the next part she kisses. "Rectus femoris. Vastus literalis. Vastus madialis. Sartorius. Tensor fasciae latae. Pectineus. Os pubis. Jane…"

She pulls me down and I straddle her, holding enough distance to not create any friction. My nose lies in the crook of her neck, our hands laced together. We just relax for half an hour.

We move slowly over to our cozy corner, holding hands. The room aflame in a soft red and orange flickering. We slowly lie down, side by side on our backs. Her right and my left hand never lose contact. We share a glance and I close my eyes.

"Just breath, slowly and rhythmic," I whisper.

I can hear the crackle form the behind us, every time a splinter of wood bursts under the withering power of the fire and I can see in my mind's eye the flames licking her merciless way inside the gift of mother nature.

I can hear the beat of my own heart, slowly dying down. I can feel her hot skin where our hands touch. I can hear her breath, evens out with mine.

I turn on my left side. The fingertips of my right hand touching faintly the skin over her heart.

"Breath deep and slowly," I whisper. The moment she inhales I let my finger slowly slide down to her navel, barely touching her. With her exhaling I move the same path upwards again. I repeat my motion until she shivers.

I take her left hand and turn her until we are face to face. I only use my index and middle finger and start at her forehead and gently slide along her facial bones. She mirrors my movements.

Our faces are just inches away. I sense her hot breath on my skin, more than I can feel the heat from the fire. My whole body tingles with every touch of her. Our glances permanently connected.

She lifts herself up and comes to sit on her heels. I emulate her deeds and our knees touching sidewise. I scoot my hands up, half her forearm and wrap my fingers around them. Bending my upper body my nose touches her abs.

I stroke her skin up to her throat and my upper body meets little by little the places my nose left before. I pull back and repeat my move and wait for her to do the same.

With my next turn I also use my lips to caress her skin. Every just so slightly urge to overpower and dominate her has left. I just want to feel her.

Suddenly she is behind me and lowers me face first onto the sheets and her hands wet with the almond oil I had prepared into a porcelain dish touch the back of my neck. Jane starts with lightly caresses of her fingertips and moves in slow motion over every inch of my skin. Arriving at my ankles she starts over, this time firmer, massaging, with both hands on the same place.

She turns me over and sits down on her heels over my head. The tips of her finger are slightly pressing into my skin on both sides of my neck. Circuiting movements. She moves down to my shoulders, while her fingers continue her motions on my front her thumbs are pressing into the backside of me.

Her flat hands slides down my sternum, she avoids my breasts and moves further down, her palms stroking my sides, her fingers presses into my back and her thumbs are stroking my abdomen. She takes her time.

The mixture of crackle from the fire, the rustle from the sheets, the scent from the massage oil and the fragrance of lavender from her and her touches put my senses into overdrive. I arched my back, pulling my shoulder towards my hips. My legs are slightly bent and only four part of me are touching the blankets anymore. My feet are flat pressed onto our bed, my bottom, the top of my skull and the back of my hands.

Anything else is attracted to her hands, like she use a magical trick to control my body. Her left index finger rubs slowly up and down over my stretched throat.

I am still in the same position as she kneels down between my legs and starts to caress and massage my hips. I can not longer hold a moan. I do not remember why I did ever consider letting her fucking me brainless.

Leaving my calves, she dips her left hand into the oil again and rubs her palms together. Both of her index fingers circling around my breasts. She flattens out her hands and moved them lightly up and down, as she tries to rub them warm.

I hiss every time her scars meeting my nipples, hard as surgical steel. She knows perfectly well what it does to me. Forever being etched into my memory the gift of my first orgasm with her.

Her left index writes 'I love you' onto my skin downwards. Everything is on fire and I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Her finger starts in the fold where legs meets torso and she gently draws lower. Light pressure on my thighs, her thumbs stroking my inner legs.

She draws circles on my pubis and her thumbs spread slightly press down and strokes up and down my labia majora. Her finger tips move further down to my mons veneris.

As her thumbs touches my perineum, I am about to lose it. The last one who tried to touch me there was close to catch a resounding slap. I feel anything but the needs to hit her.

The moan slipping over my lips causes her to lean over me and kissing the lower side of my belly button. Then she hovers over me and we share a long and tender kiss.

I wrap my fingers around her biceps, roll us over and come to sit on her pelvis. I dip my left fingers into the oil filled bowl and rub it into my hands. Wrapping my fingers around her neck, I press my thumbs under her chin and slowly run up and down her throat. Trace over every visual bone with my index each on one side of her front. Let my finger tips tickle over every inch of her skin and turn her around.

Instead of massaging her backside I start to work a mound of the almond oil onto my own body and let her watching me. Doing it slowly and sensual mostly for Jane's enjoyment.

I start kissing her calves and thighs, slowly scooting with my own skin higher. Spending a mount of time kissing and caressing her incredible bottom cheeks, I work my way up lightly sucking and licking over every vertebra until I am fully on top of her.

I take Jane's hands and spread our arm straight on both sides, my palms on the back of her hands lacing fingers together. Taking time just to rest on her until our breaths are in a steady and consentaneous rhythm.

Once our bodies are in harmony I slide slowly up breath, inhaling and down again, exhaling. My lips touching the back of her left ear.

"How are you feeling, baby?" I whisper.

"Intoxicated," she breathes back and I kiss her ear.

"I want to try something new," my voice barely audibly. I can feel her chuckle.

"God bless you Maura. I am so tired of always the same stuff." We both laugh at her dripping wet sarcasm. "Let me turn, please. I want to kiss the gorgeous shit out of you."

I lift on my arms and tiptoes off of her and she pulls me immediately back and a lot of sensual kisses follow.

As we sit up, I pull her right leg over my left and my right one over her left. Now our sexes are able to touch. I take her hands in mine and start to massage her palms with my thumbs.

I kiss her right ear. "I want us to breath in turns. When you inhale tense up the muscles in your bottom and thighs and relax them when you exhale," I whisper.

Just starting the first turn I inhale slowly and tense my muscles. Feeling the mound of wetness from both of us I sense the highly erotically facet as my clit slowly slides over hers. Still massaging her palms and gently kissing we easily enter into a state of trance and accordance with our motions.

Oh yes! This is so much better than a quick fuck. Concentrating on breathing we sway slowly higher and higher. I place her palms on my chest over my heart and mirror it over hers. The closer we get the more we lose our alternate breathing. But that doesn't matter anymore.

I feel her start to shiver and as if my body was waiting for a signal, I match her. Heavy breaths and moans are mingling into the rooms noises. Locking glances, we both come for the first time looking consciously into the other's eyes. And I will never miss that again.

Aponeurosis – muscle in abdomen

Rectus femoris. Vastus literalis. Vastus madialis. Sartorius. Pectineus – muscles in thigh

Tensor fasciae latae – hip muscle, lateral

Os pubis – pubic bone

Jane – what did she do? xD

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome like ever :) **

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	18. Sympathy for the devil

This chapter contains a very sensible issue. I am standing back from judging about this upcoming problem. This is only **MY** sight of affairs. If I offend someone with dealing about this issue, please feel free to contact me. Note – this is **not** a warning about one of our beloved character's dying.

_**Mistakes are on me**_

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

_**I feel her start to shiver and as my body was waiting for a signal I match her. Heavy breaths and moans are mingling into the rooms noises. Locking glances, we both come for the first time looking conscious into the others eyes. And I will never miss that again. **_

Jane's POV

I had tried a lot to talk me out of it. Having my mother sitting in your neck is bad enough, but having her federalized with the woman that has you wrapped around her damn finger since the first week you know her is more than hard.

So I had not really a choice. Shopping with my mother! Actually shopping for a birthday gift for me, hell my birthday was nine month ago, but I managed to avoid every opportunity until now.

Now, however I am standing with my mother in a damn 'boutique' and fit one dress after another. And oh my god, they were sooooo awful.

Why in hell has my mother to pretend to make me all girly? I mean, I am a girl, but dressing like Maura isn't something I can do all the time. I am married to my job and I spend the most of my time with my beloved wife, so my clothes are perfectly fitting to her needs.

I need comfort clothes, clothes I can run in, clothes I can jump over fences in, clothes I can slide over hoods in, clothes I can tackle down a man in.

Hell I can't even suppress a grin as I put on my next dress. I have to think about Maura running all dressed up after a man twice her size. The perp would give up freely, 'cause he would pee his pants laughing about me.

Running in a skin-tight dress on four inch heels, wielding my damn designer purse after him. Or me, rummaging in that damn purse in need of my gun. 'Stop Boston Police, oh sorry, just wait a moment please. I can't find my gun in there, damn it was right beneath my make-up, left beside from my manicure-set'. The Hell!

Or maybe I should just wear my gun around my leg, pulling up my dress around my hips, showing of my lacy thong while reaching for my weapon. Korsak and Frost would have a lot of fun.

I would never break a case again, 'cause instead of talking in the interrogation room the perp would just drooling all over the table, having a free-to-look sight into my dress down my chest. No! Just no!

If I wear a dress, it has to be my decision. My mother forced me into enough dresses as I was too young to defend myself.

"That's beautiful," my mother beams.

Beautiful? That dress is as nasty as all I tried before. No. It's worse. It reaches just down to my knees and has pink flowers and dark green leafs on it, the pink band around it, under my breasts, is nearly as ugly as the drape around the cleavage. Oh boy my mother has no sense of what fits me.

"Yeah, if you're a farmer's wife. Ma come on. My next birthday is already in about three month, screw that present. It's fine."

She looks at me, head slightly bent to her right shoulder. "Well, we're not leaving until we find something we both like."

I sent her a death glare and turn around. Stomping off towards the fitting room "Did you bring food and water?" I ask her, this could grow a long day.

She laughs and waves another dress in front of me. "Do me a favour. Try this one. Every girl needs and LBD."

"Not me! I got vaccinated." I have to get out of that granny-dress, NOW. I get in the black one. Only two more dresses left, after that I need some food until she drags me into the next shop.

"Come on! Let me see it," Ma pushes. "Wow! That is one stunning little black dress," my mother breathes as I walked out. "And… Jane. You look beautiful."

Wow. Well no way out Rizzoli. That one is nice.

"Mom, where am I gonna wear this? A murder at the Boston pops?" I can think of some occasions to wears this, but this involves only one person and that is definitively not my mother.

"Okay, we're not leaving until we buy it."

I can't deny that I like it. "Okay, okay. Fine! Get the damn dress. It'll look fabulous in my closet."

Ma smiles cheekily. "Thank you."

As I turn towards the fitting room my phone went off. Frost. He's on his way to a crime scene and gives me all information's I need. I arrive simultaneous with Maura.

Damn. I am sure she does this on purpose. I nearly drool all over my shirt as I watch her car sliding to a halt. The door opens in a nearly perfect angle of 45 degrees. Her left foot touches the damn asphalt and I can see her calves muscles flex under the border of her door. Her food turns from parallel to the door to heel towards her car. She slides elegant out of her car and her right calve emerged behind the door.

She takes a full step aside with her left foot and her right end up only on her heel in front of the left. She let the door snapping close. Dark-blue dress, ending just above her knees, fabric belt with a silver ring resting on her belly button. Thin grey coat, as long as her dress. Her badge dangling, with every move slightly slapping against her left breast. Carrying proudly her designer medicine bag.

Reaching up to set my sunglasses onto my head I admire the queen walking up the crime scene. The asphalt should melt underneath her as she comes down onto her knees and bent over the victim. If it would be illegal to be sexy she would be locked up for a thousand years, if that would be enough to do her justice.

My thoughts about her come to a hard stop as I look at the young boy on the floor. I love my job, I really do, but it is a real shame that it every time brings a tragedy with it. A life wasted. Blown out, mostly without a second thought. Grieving parents, lovers, children, friends, families.

My heart aches, the poor boy wasn't even allowed to grow up to a man, maybe never tasted love for once, would never escort a beloved one onto the dance floor into a frowsy, redecorated gym at his prom.

Lying onto the cold ground in a messy alley, next to a dumpster. The only thing that maybe might be the best part of this bleak moment will be that the last person to touch him is the love of my life. The most gentle, tender, soulful human being, addicted to disclose the last secrets with him together.

Maura can't find any obvious injury, like he just crashed down, being dead. My thoughts are being disturbed from the most triggering voice these days.

"I can promise you that we are working tirelessly for justice in this case."

"But as you know, uh, Boston has some of the ..."

I look down. There is a young boy, dead and some freaks, inclusive our new Lieutenant having nothing better to do than posing and hunting for reputation. Things like that make me furious and I am not the one to bottle up this kind of feelings.

"Tirelessly," I repeated his word sarcastically and smile at Maura.

She turns her head. "Shh! Somebody might hear you."

"I wonder if that guy has, like, a satellite for the news van. No he's not a cop. All right? He's a police officer. He's a climber. He's an ass."

Maura looks up again. "Well, he's got a lot of pulp."

"Juice. We say 'Guy's got juice'."

"And you are gonna be drinking yours out of a sippy cup if you don't lower your voice," Maura hissed and the last half is whispered sternly.

I know she is thinking the same as me, but she is a lot of too polite. I don't think she has even the words to hurt someone.

Maura turns the body gently to the left and to the right side. Visually examine. "There are no knife wounds. No bullet entry or exit wounds. No external sign of trauma to indicate a beating."

Frost walks up holding out a backpack and a wallet. "Wasn't killed for his stuff. His school ID."

Mathias Senna. Only fifteen damn years old. I take another frustrated look towards the dead boy. "I'm never having kids."

Kids. I laughed into my self. I never thought about having kids. I can't see myself as a pregnant whale, all housewife and the devote 'honeybunch' of a man, coming home from work, pecking my lips and asking for his dinner.

But on the other hand I never imagined Maura at my side, well that's not the whole truth, but I never saw it happening. The suddenly image of a little 'Maura' boy or girl running around and driving me nuts with fun-facts, Google-talk and healthy food melts my heart into a puddle.

Two things! You are not equipped to get her pregnant, Rizzoli and get a grip on it. There is a murder to solve.

The arrogant voice of Grant starlet me. How does this asshole manage to turn the day after a beautiful night with Maura anytime into my personal nightmare? I should be relaxed and happy although we have right now a case of truly sadness in front of us. But I am not. I am frustrated, angry, furious.

He fictive lift his leg and try to piss all over my crime scene. Hell, who does he think he is? I handled scenes before. I solved a lot of cases before. I don't need a watch dog and I really don't need an ass-licker who tells me how my job works.

"That went well," I hear Maura's voice, slightly sarcastically.

"Find something, Maura." I beg her, not only audible.

Back at the HQ Frost and I accompany Mathias mother identifying her son. He looks like he is just taking a nap. She prays his name over and over and I can see it breaks Frost heart just as it breaks mine.

It is hard to lose someone you love, but it must be the worst for a mother to burry her child. I can't even imagine what it feels like. It's not natural to watch your children dying ahead of you. You spend them the gift of life to watch them grow up, fall in love, getting married maybe, maybe having children of their own and you die yourself with the knowledge of having left imprints in this world.

But you are not supposed to look at your dead baby-boy. I ask myself often if it is harder to lose your only-child or if it's always feels the same. She lost her baby today, her only baby and I ask myself what she's thinking. Will she has to have the strength to move on. To wake up every morning after today and just live.

While I watch her I am sure she just died in front of me. The only question left in the room is will she facing a life walking dead or will it be worthless for her to even waste the oxygen she could safe for other humans to breath.

It is always a small grade. In times past I thought different about suicide. I thought this people were just cowardly and selfish, weak. Juvenility. My work between light and darkness, my own hard learned lessons changed this unworldly view of affairs.

Sometimes in your life you happen to experience things you don't know if you are able to survive. If it's worth to face another day. Things, that will you let ask yourself if you are able to bring up the strength to move on. I was once there in my life.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and ask myself how it is possible, that for the one freak you locked away two new one seem to creep out of hell.

I take a step forward and put my hand on Mrs. Senna's back, close my right hand around her wrist and lead her away from her son towards a room were she can calm down a bit. Calm down when your baby-boy is laying in a cold storage three levels beneath you? How insane!

She shares photos of Mathias with us. A sweet boy. A lovely boy. A charming boy. He was a good student, loved skateboarding. All of this can't apparently not stopping your divorced parents to fight about you. To hate the one you loved once. The one that was once part of creating another life together with you.

Maura is on the edge, she can't find out the boys cause of death. She is so damn brilliant but things like that let her ego shrinking to not-even-there-anymore. She tries desperate to find anything for Mathias, for me to nail his murder. He could be poisoned, or suffocated or died from many other causes.

She found evidences for an exorcism. Exorcism? Hello? Where are we? In middle-age?

She really is desperate, she even ask me if I think Grant is sexy? Did I miss anything?

For the first time she shares a detail from her youth with me. Maura-the-bora. Really? How lame is that? I want to kiss her face all over and tell her that everything will be fine again.

Having children obviously not stops people from being fools also. I'm having great respect for every decision someone does in their life. I respect every kind of religion unless it cut into humans rights or is used to bleed people dry.

Father Cocoon is obviously one of this spineless contemporaries and he is much too arrogant for his own good.

If I hadn't felt with my own hands that she is flesh and blood I could really believe Maura is some cyborc. She seems to speak every damn language on this planet. I really love her but sometimes she's driving me nuts. And the scumbag of a priest has the balls to threat me.

Mathias father confirms our fears that 'Father Cocoon' conned Mrs. Senna out of all her money. He's really suffering. Korsak finds out that the father won the parents fight about custody. That theoretically eliminates one suspect. It was really a nasty custody battle between Mathias parents. Poor boy!

As Frost leaves to check some thinks my worst nightmare happens. My girlfriend and my mother enter the bullpen, both grinning. That's never a good sign.

My mother declares she brought my new dress that I am going to wear to a dinner next day whereof I never knew anything about. Maura looks at me like I have shot Bass. Her surprise is turning into exiting as my mother pulls out THE DRESS in the middle of my work-place and they both got all experts over the piece of cloth. Discussing the fabric and details and stuff I don't even know you have to KNOW about a damn dress. HELLO? THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

But minutes later she makes it all up to me getting all childish about my peanut butter-fluff-sandwich I share with her and all cool as we talk about nicknames in gangs. She doesn't even have a clue how cute she is.

Frost and I go for a visit in the skate-park and my partner goes all bad-ass as he give 'Cruncher' beans. The gang-leader blames the odd church for 'Olli's' aka Mathias death. Man, I never saw Frost this furious. I also think this church is evil, but that's not enough to get a warrant and also not enough to nail someone for murder.

Time for a break, getting the head clear. I collected Maura in her office and we made our way to the lot where our cars are parked. All tox and micro reports comes back negative and we are running out of ideas. We are both absorbed in our conversation that I have to listen two times before I really notice the odd sound coming from the place my unmarked is standing.

My hand is automatically on my gun and the other shoves Maura back behind me. I am straight in detective-mode. I circle slowly the car, highly alerted. Snakes, fucking damn snakes in my car.

After another firstly unpleasant encounter with Grant this time he at least trusts me and my intuition.

Uh, Maura emerges downstairs and she has a damn short skirt covering nearly nothing of her thighs. How I am supposed to work watching this? She's looking at me with a sardonic smile on her lips as I sip my coffee.

"I thought you might need a reminder to hurry up tonight with your dinner," she says matter-of-factly.

Dinner, oh yeah that. I had already suppressed it again. Dinner with the Solernos instead of spending my rare time with Maura. Sometimes I feel like a small child, my mother always meddling into my life.

Like we decided, we are going to visit the church and just arriving the right time we partaken of a ceremony. Maura spend two years with 'doctors without borders' in Dakar. Holy shit! I think I don't know anything about that woman, obviously.

The ceremony is odd. Insane, frightening and holy fuck, what is it with all those fuckers trying to kill my girlfriend these days. A Molotov-cocktail made its way through the window and Frost takes down 'Skater Crusher' but I still don't think he killed Mathias. But and that's a real big but, I am furious pissed at him for bringing Maura and a lot of other innocent people in danger.

I, again, forgot about damn dinner. I ask Frost to call my mom while I made my way to the parking lot, change in the car and speed towards my parents home. I stop at a gas station for some flowers. My Ma is still cooking when I enter. I apologise and walk up to dinning room.

What the fuck? Joe fucking Grant is the only one in the damn room, all dressed up. That's a damn nightmare. I must be dreaming.

Everything is fine, Jane, calm down. You are just dreaming. You just need to wake up and scoot a little to feel Maura's naked skin. Yesterday was just too much. Am I too exhausted to wake up? Okay Rizzoli you need more sleep, obviously.

I turn around and back away into the kitchen again. Oh yes, I am NOT dreaming. My mother set me up with my boss. She set me up, again. I need to soothe myself. I want to shake her and tell her what Maura and I did last night in every damn detail and after that I will tell her that we did exactly the same the last two weeks together.

Oh my god. What shall I do? I have to talk to Maura. I really love us to be able to enjoy our relationship but this shit has to end. Ok, I walk back in there, have dinner with him, just talk a bit. We know each other since we've been five years old and he's my damn fucking boss.

We start talking without sitting down. This is so awkward. All I want is run, run into the morgue and cry on Maura's shoulder. After some minutes we relax a bit, sit down and have a nice talk until he let slip a dumb comment.

I grab the flowers I brought, the bottle of red wine which would be better off with Maura and leave. Making my way back to the HQ. She's sitting at the desk in the morgue, checking up the results of Mathias tox-screens.

"What are you doing here?"

"Gee Maura I am also happy to see you too," I answer mockingly.

She immediately stands and comes over to me, taking my hands her eyes roaming over me.

"You are gorgeous," she whispers before gently kissing me.

"I stole my mother the wine before I bunked off."

While she took two glasses out of a cupboard she glances over her shoulder. "What happened?"

"It was so funny… She set me up with no one other than Joe 'my boss' Grant. Can you believe that?"

She just laughed hearty. "She just loves you."

"Yeah, if she loves me so much why trying to hands me off to that creep."

"I don't think he's a creep. It just comes out of him when he's around you because he wants to impress you. It's mating behaviour," she smiles.

"Jeez Maura, you're trying to sell me to him? That's not funny."

Maura slowly walks up to me and press my butt slightly into the autopsy table. "Why not? I am not afraid of being ruled out by a Joe Grant. I can clearly see why he wants to impress you," she whispers hot into my ear.

Boy, this damn skirt is running me hot and her voice isn't doing anything to make that better. She is slightly hoarse today. So much deeper than usual plus her visible state of arousal which turns her voice as a rule some notes huskier. I have to watch out or she will be end up with her back on the table or her own desk.

"I think we should leave," I whisper.

She nods. "I need some minutes to tide up everything."

"We have to stop at my apartment, I need some fresh clothes."

"Go ahead and stay there, I drive home and feed Bass, get some clothes and come over. I even will bring some food and more wine," she smiles against my lips. I have to leave now or there is no more proper behaviour at work.

After a shower I am looking over all the pictures about our case with a beer, waiting for Maura. One of the pictures slides out of my hand and as I bend down to pick it up there is blood on the floor.

What the heck? I grab my gun and follow slowly the drops of blood on my floor, across my whole living room into my kitchen. It feels like my heart stops as I see Mathias lying there in a pool of blood running out of his head.

Just as my first shock is about to wear of he opens his eyes and holds out a purple flower towards me. A loud crash of splitting glass wakes me up. Just a dream, just another dream!

I walk slowly over to my kitchen and in the middle of it are thousand splinters of glass.

The vase with the purple flowers I bought at the gas station had just magically made its way from 4 feet high and minimum the double length away onto the floor in the middle of my kitchen. Another dream?

No, that's not a dream. I hear the door unlock and Maura enters. Jo is lying in her basket. Damn that's frightening. She tries to calm me. I tell her about my dream and ask her to run one more test with Mathias. Even if I just think I might be getting insane I mention the purple flower he was holding.

She immediately walked over towards my notebook and activates her files, looking at her photos from Mathias. "Monkshood is a purple flowering plant that grows in Boston," she states.

"It is poisonous?" I ask even if I knew the answer already.

"Yes, and it works very quickly and it's extremely hard to detect. But I can try," she looks worried up to me.

I steady myself with my arms against the counter. Why is she wearing her coat in here?

"Give me your coat, Maura."

She shakes her head. "No, its fine."

"Just gimme your coat Maura, that's ridiculous."

"I…," she trails off and starts to unbutton her coat. "I wasn't expecting…" She looks around my kitchen. "This…"

She pulls off her garment and wears only a white, silky negligee underneath. "Maybe you can give me something to wear," she whispers shyly.

"Are you cold?"

"No."

"Than there is no need to dress," I walk over to her and kiss her gently. "I'll grab a glass for you and we can switch over to the couch."

We lay on the couch in our usually sleeping position in silence, for a long while.

"Did you mean what you said on the crime scene?" she asks silently.

"Sorry, but I said a lot yesterday, you have to ask more detailed," I may have an idea what she is about to ask but I don't want to jump on the wrong train.

She sighed, as she was preparing herself for a hard task or something. "You said… you never want having kids."

Now it was out in the open. Here we are, having the kids talk barely one month into our relationship and I am afraid that we will have too many different sentiments about things like that.

"Difficult…," I answer carefully. "I never thought about kids before, but what I said at the crime scene wasn't really… it was much more a statement about…"

I took a deep breath. "Okay let me start again. After I said it at the crime scene I thought for a moment about it, for the first time in my life. I was amazed how nice it felt to think of watching a mini-you running around and driving me nuts."

I felt her chuckle. "I thought more of a mini-you driving me crazy and causing trouble all day long."

"Hey, I am not causing trouble the whole day long," I mocked playfully.

"Oh I bet you were a whirlwind causing trouble, unwittingly," she laughed whole heartily. "Do you think it's odd that we talk about things like that this early?"

I take both of her hands. "Does it feel odd?"

"No," she stated.

"See, I don't think it isn't really odd. Who says when it's the right time to talk about things like children or marriage? It would probably be odd to discuss how to get pregnant yet, but…"

She turns in my arms and her nose touches mine. "We both knowing ways to get pregnant," she whispers.

I missed her playful banter totally. "Yes but one of us is missing som…," she cuts me off with a deep kiss and her voice is barely a whisper.

"But we could try…"

When Maura comes upstairs the next morning and confirms that Mathias was poisoned with Monkshood and I research the flower in our database I remember where I have seen this flower before.

I have to choose my words really careful to make Maura not breakout in hives as we try to convince Mathias stepmother to confess she poisoned the boy.

It is hard to stand by and watch how a whole life goes to hell and the emotional outburst of Mathias father will hunt me for a while and will take years to fade.

I know Maura is confused and overwhelmed with the emotions she witnessed, so I agree to drive home alone and let her go back into her office, finishing reports. She needs her alone-time just now.

It is raining cats and dogs and when I stop my car in front of my building Joe Grant is sitting on my steps. I walk over to him and sit down also.

He tells me that he got a new job in D.C.

It is odd, we never came along all this years but suddenly I have the strange sense of losing a friend. We sit in the rain and laugh about things back in school and he apologise for names he called me.

It is much easies to let go of things you dislike when you are about to see the person never again.

Then he tries to kiss me.

I didn't really saw that coming. I press my left hand against his chest.

"My heart belongs to someone," are the last words I whisper before I stand and walk through my door, letting him behind in the rain.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.**

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	19. She works hard for the money

**_Mistakes are on me. Sorry for the wait, family-affairs :) Have fun. _**

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

_**"My heart belongs to someone," are the last words I whisper before I stand and walk through my door, letting him behind in the rain.**_

Maura's POV

The past three days were a split between horror and pure joy. After we closed the case of Mathias Senna Jane was only on paperwork and I had another case with Detective Crowe and Detective Foster, it wasn't a difficult case, with so much of evidence.

What costs most of my nerves the whole three days long was Dr. Pike. This man is simply annoying. I am not normally someone who easily judges about other humans but I really don't know how this man ever passed an university and his exam to become a doctor.

As the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts I am responsible for all pathologists in the whole country, to supervise, to monitor, to check their reports and to sign them off.

This man is reckless, incapable, absent-minded, tardy. I had to drive the whole one and a half hour to Holyoke to work over his reports with him and to review his last two autopsies. Well, that gave me at least the opportunity to work at my anger about Joe Grant trying to kiss Jane.

Well I can't blame him for the desire to do so, actually. That doesn't mean I have to like it. I never knew an emotion like jealousy and I either don't know why I felt this anyway.

I was emotionally exhausted after witnessing what happened related to the imprisonment of Mathias stepmother and coming home to Jane and hearing what happened on her front stairs didn't help.

I don't doubt Jane or her feelings for me. Neither did I doubt her honesty about what exactly happened but that didn't kept my rage at bay. I didn't let her know how this affected me but I am sure she sensed it anyway.

After coming home each of the past days she waited for me with a surprise. And those surprises made the better halves of my days.

The evening Joe Grant happened she had drawn a bath, had lit candles in her bathroom and two glasses of the red wine I brought the last time, ready for us. Her tub isn't as nearly big as mine but that was far from disappointing. She had ordered my favourite Mexican food which we enjoyed afterwards with another glass of wine on her couch.

After closing the Crowe/Foster case she picked me up for dinner in a French restaurant, knowing exactly that she doesn't like the food that much. So I got the opportunity to undo that sexy black dress she had bought with her mother and wearing it again that night, which distracted me the whole time through our dinner.

Yesterday after coming home from Holyoke she had dinner ready and we stayed the whole night on the couch with wine, a movie and a lot of sweet kisses.

I know I am impinging against my own rule about no work in bed but I can't help myself tonight. Jane lies on her stomach, sound asleep and I am laying half on her back, slowly drawing random pattern on her skin with my fingertips.

Thinking about the girl gunned down at one of the best universities in the country this morning.

Two centimetre in diameter, singular gunshot wound in the mid chest. Jane guesses for a nine-millimetre bullet. I think she's right but guessing is all hers, not mine. A foreign hair on her body. Anterior inferior tibiofibular syndesmotic ligament ruptured.

I kiss her skin between her shoulder blades. My left leg is between hers, my pelvis pressed against her right bottom cheek. I watch my hand on her back. My pale skin against her Mediterranean.

Light and dark. Black and white. Night and day. North and south. Ying and Yang. Oppositional but attracted to each other like magnets.

I don't know why she is sometimes so insecure. Today was one of those days. She told me that she regrets some things in her life. That she didn't go to college and I sensed the sadness in some trivial things she had said. As she mentioned the ABC party and the library, for example.

I know she is very smart and not only street-smart. I think she is very intelligent but she doesn't give herself enough credit. I wish I could do anything to show her how I see her.

I let the tip of my nose sliding over her spine as far as I can without moving.

"I feel guilty for taking a break, we don't have a solid lead," Jane whispers suddenly.

"We might. I got the lab results back from that hair sample I found on Danielle. It's synthetic. From a toupee."

Jane shivers. "Danielle was selling herself to a guy with a plastic rug? Ugh!"

"Maybe he took it off, you know, during…"

She shivers again. "God, a child at the college of her dreams and she's turning tricks."

"To stay. She lost her scholarship. She was trying to pay for school."

"How about a loan? Hell, some people even flip burgers."

I shake my head. "Not possible. There are only 8760 hours in a year and to pay for school she needed to work 9500 hours."

Jane snorts. "You are defending her. Your fancy French boarding school warped your young mind."

"In Europe woman make all kinds of arrangements with men. And both parties get what they need. No shame, no pimps, no victims. I'm sure it was terrible for Danielle to resort to that."

"She had other choices."

"Apparently she didn't think so. She couldn't go to her father."

Jane's face turned even sadder than it was before. "What is it?" I ask her.

"You are right. H… her father was very upset that he couldn't keep her in that school without scholarship."

There is a long silence between us.

"Would you…?" She asks me suddenly, whispering.

"The question didn't arise. I don't know… I don't think so," I answer her truthfully. I never needed to ask myself such a question.

"I was okay with casual sex but selling yourself is another case." I whisper.

I sense that she is absorbed in thoughts. I let the tip of my left index finger draw along the bone of her left shoulder blade.

"Did you know that there is a nerve right under the levator scapulae that leads all the way down to the pelvic floor?" I whisper hoarsely while I follow the way of this nerve on her skin. As she hisses I scoot on top of her and bite gently into the named tendon at her neck.

"Why do all medical facts sounds suddenly so dirty from your mouth?" Jane whispers in reply.

I move her hair in direction of her right shoulder and kiss her neck slowly a view times before moving over to her ear.

"Maybe it was supposed to sound that way," I smile against her skin.

My hands stroking up her sides, my fingertips touching lightly the swells of her breasts, moving over the skin of her arms we intertwine our fingers on the pillow above her head.

I love caressing her skin with my nose and I just do that, all over her neck, her jaw, her shoulders.

I lose my hands and she grabs the outsides of her pillow while mine wanders underneath her, cupping her breasts. While massaging them softly I gently rock my hips against her bottom. Kissing and softly sucking the skin at her neck.

It is somehow complicated to make love to each other at the same time if your partner and you are opposite handed. Face to face is in fact rather laborious and ended often in a fit of laughter between us.

I love being able to laugh with her, even while we are intimate. I can't imagine laughing with one of my former lover's or one-night-stands while having sex. It was much more a bit awkward if something like a misunderstanding happened before.

My right stroke down towards her hips. Back to front is one of the best opportunities for us for having a mutual orgasm. Just as she has sensed my thoughts her left hand is begging for entrance between our pressed-up bodies.

We both hiss at the first contact. I will never become attuned to her touch. Anytime it is like an electric shock. We don't go every time for penetrating each other, rather the other way around. Mostly we both prefer body contact. I never cared what people say and care even lesser if people would consider our intimacy as 'real sex' ore not.

Even my most skilled lover never let me climax like I do on Jane's thigh or abs and the best equipped of them never reached places her fingers had touched. I bit my lips.

"Do you have any idea how often I asked myself how your beautiful fingers would feel inside me," I whisper directly into her ear. With a move of my hip I welcome her into me and mirror the motion to her.

With our hand practically trapped and me on top of her it is my turn to set the pace and I want her as long as possible. I roll my hip only gently and in the same move every time I take her fingers deeper inside me I press her onto mine.

Never stopping the attention her neck received from me, soon the air is filled with softly sighs and low moans from both of us.

I never appraised any sexual orientation as less valuable or more worthwhile but I also never thought something could leave me in such awe.

In the past it was fun to be the reason for some erections without doing anything further than walk by. Fun, that's it. Now it is pride, boosting my ego, stroking my soul without being smug about it.

Goosebumps, raising hairs, dilatation of pupils, shivers, increased breathes, hyper sensitive skin, erected nipples, a mound of soft wetness. All what is needed for it is a single whisper of me and it burst my heart into million pieces.

I feel like I could literally cry every time I cause all this reactions out of Jane. I don't know if this a normal reaction, because there is nothing for me to compare with but I like it, I love it, I am addicted to it.

I am tumbling along the edge and I feel Jane tighten around me harder with every move. Hearing the low and deep moan of my name with much more letters than usual, vibrating trough her throat is all it take for me to lose the last bit of control that I had. My orgasm flashes through me. Wave after wave of pleasure roll over me, a loud moan, a whisper of her name, another moan. Feeling the shiver climbing from my core up my spine.

Somehow I end up across the bed. The back of my head presses against the side of the frame, my legs bend and a black mass of hair between them.

I actually never asked Jane if she was with a woman ever before but in regard of our first night and how skilful she seemed, I doubt somehow that I am her first. Ok she said something like she isn't even really gay but the sudden thought of Jane with another woman left a taste of bile on my tongue.

I don't know why but I know I like this sentimental bubble we have, a lot more. I don't want to be her second or third or worse. I want to be her first.

I know this all is terrible gooey and cliché but she is my first for nearly everything and I want her to be my last. I want all of her, forever. I want her to move in with me and staying every night… move… darn.

I didn't know I had spoken the last word out loud. She stops kissing my thigh and looks up.

"What is it?"

How do you explain that? 'Hi baby, while you where kissing me down there I thought about packing boxes and…' Well, busted.

"Don't ask me why but there is something I totally forgot and I remembered it just now and I would understand if…"

She smiles. "You are rambling Maura. Just tell me."

"Do you remember that I told you I was looking for a new place, while you where in hospital? The day we started… as a couple they accepted my bid. I don't know how I could forget that but I have and I remembered it just yet."

She smiles again. "So, you totally forgot that you bought the house you where head over heels with and you never stopped talking about a whole week long? Wow, I knew I was good but that good."

I couldn't help my self but start laughing whole-hearted. I swat her arm. "You are so humble, Detective."

"That means you'll have to move one day in the near future and …," I pull her on top of me and kiss her.

"Yes I do and I want you to come with me and help me to furnish. I want us to do it together. I want you to feel as home as possible."

I turn us around and come to sit on her belly, whispering directly into her ear. "And yes you are that good and I want us to move in there together."

Out in the open. I didn't want to voice it again but I did it. Her hands are on the side of my hips, her fingertips caressing my bottom cheeks.

"How do we tell them? I can't just walk into the bullpen and say 'Hi Guys I am moving in with Maura into her new house' or blurt it out at Sunday dinner."

"Our and no, you don't have to tell anybody. You can just stay registered at you apartment for a while until we want to tell everybody."

"I have to sell it if I am going to pay my half…"

"No you don't have to pay anything. Let's not go there. I paid for it already. I would have bought it anyway, with or without you. I want you and nothing else."

I kiss her gently. "I mean it Jane. I am very capable to take care of myself, in terms of money. You can care about the rest. If you want we can work on a compromise about sharing expenses, because I know you are not comfortable with feeling not equivalent but you are so much more to me than money ever will be."

I kiss her again. "You love me like I am. You let me feel loved, you care about me. You make these walls a home for me, you let me in and you let me love you back and I am grateful for that."

She just smiles brightly. "What?" I ask her.

"I didn't say anything. You are thinking way too much Maura. Yes, there will be days when I might have a problem with your wealthy but if you think I am going to run just because you are quite the catch you don't know me very well. I've overcome with all this things a while ago. Loving you means loving all of you and there could be much worse than a bunch of money and a royalty education." She grins.

She sits up and kisses my neck. "There was someone asking me today how much for a party with me. Thanks to my mothers pimpmobile. He called me 'vanilla bitch'," she laughs.

"Maybe… if you ever get tired of chasing murders… I would pay a lot…," I whisper.

"Three to five," she whispers back.

"Hundred, that's too low-priced…"

"Years, Dr. Isles. Years. In prison. You would like that, wouldn't you? Being my sugar-mommy?" she laughs low.

"Yes…," I hiss as she softly bites my pulse point. "I would pay every price for you."

Her hands are pressing my hips firmer towards her abdomen as my phone beeps. I am anything but interested in who or what it is as long as my ring-tone for dispatch is not asking for me.

I stop her before she can reach for it.

"Nuh uh… your hands are not leaving my body until it is an emergency and if it is one, they will call," I whisper and pull her in for a kiss.

R&IR&IR&IR&IR&I R&IR&IR&IR&IR&I R&IR&IR&IR&IR&I

After reading my message from the lab and discovering that the plastic piece from the crime scene was indeed from a computer I had to capture her in bed. She would have been up, driving over to BCU and wait in front of the shop until opening.

Jane was awake at 5:30 am sharp. After a cup of coffee together she was on her way towards the campus, meeting there with her partner.

Jane and Frost brought the campus officer in, the one that had called the crime in, she was really upset about him and came down to me after the interrogation. At this time nobody, not even Jane would have guessed what would yet happen during the day.

Frost called Jane to meet after he got the security footage from the hotel. They found the professor, who was Danielle's last appointment, dead in his office. Set up as a suicide, a badly dilettante set up. But this way we got a hold onto the weapon that had killed both, Danielle and Andrew Hilliard. While Jane, Frost and I attended the candlelight vigil at BCU Detective Korsak worked on the gun to figure out the filed serial number.

He called Jane before Natalie started her eulogy and the weapon was registered to the RA's stepfather. After Jane spotted the matching bracelet on Natalie's arm everything followed in quick succession. Lucas took Natalie hostage and shot her to get away. Jane and Frost went after him and got into a shooting duel with him while I stayed with Natalie and tried to keep her alive.

I was sitting in front of the OR in Mass-Gen. Waiting for news about Natalie. Jane had to wait to get cleared by IDA after the shooting and met me in the hospital. After we got the news that Natalie wasn't as badly injured as we thought, the bullet was a through and through without any serious damage it was two in the morning and Jane sent me home.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.**

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	20. Amazed

Thank you all for reading and reviewing, as a small present for you all this one is a chapter 'out of sequence' of my normal posting-routine. Have a nice day, enjoy and see you again on Wednesday.

**Mistakes are on me ;) **

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

_**I was sitting in front of the OR in Mass-Gen. Waiting for news about Natalie. Jane had to wait to get cleared by IDA after the shooting and met me in the hospital. After we got the news that Natalie wasn't as badly injured as we thought, the bullet was a through and through, without any serious damage, it was two in the morning and Jane sent me home.**_

Maura's POV

"_Gun"_ This words echo through my mind. _"Gun" "Gun"_ I can hear Frost's voice and the panic screams of the present students. Then the shot was fired. I am in my shower and can hear it like the moment it all happened. I am terrible tiered.

I hadn't really the time to think about what had happened the night before but as I lay down, trying to sleep all I can hear are screams and the gunfire.

I stayed with Natalie while Jane and her partner chased after Lucas, I could hear every fired shot. Afterwards this seems ridiculous but I listened subliminally to every fired shot and with each and every my fear raised incredible. I only heard one gun, the gun that shot Natalie. Three in a row and one single shot and then one single shot from another gun.

I remember myself praying that neither Detective Frost nor Jane was injured.

I must have been fallen asleep from exhaustion because the next thing I feel is the dip of the bed and Jane's lips on my forehead.

"Hey pretty girl," she smiled as I open up my eyes. "I brought some food."

I open up a bottle of red wine while she grabs two glasses for us. I can feel her eyes on me.

"So, what was it like working on a live victim?"

I take a deep breath. "Terrifying. And exhilarating." And that's the simple but whole truth.

She looks at me for a moment, waiting if I want to talk about it, yet. I am not ready, yet.

"Natalie confirmed your theory though. Lucas had about a half-dozen girls working off tuition." I answered instead.

"Yeah. Lucas was the company store. Fronted the money to Danielle."

"Maybe she found out that he was blackmailing the professor and he killed her."

"Yeah. She probably thought she could get out if she threatened to go public. The poor father. What he must be going through," Jane stated, suddenly sadder and more absentminded.

While she serves her food on the plate she says utterly plain. "I applied to BCU." And smiles at me.

I am caught off guard and don't know what to say. "It's very hard to get into."

"I got in," now I am really speechless for a long moment. "Why didn't you go?" I ask her.

"Wanted to be a cop." That isn't the whole true and she knows that I know it.

"What's the real reason?"

"My father would have spent everything to send me there. I couldn't do that to him."

This is Jane. Always anyone first.

"Did you ever tell him?"

"Nope. That would make him too sad."

In moments like this I am torn between being ashamed for the opportunity to have had everything I wished for and being proud of Jane for the one she is. And I know exactly when it's time to drop things with her.

"Well, I wonder what's gonna happen to Natalie."

"She's going back to school."

"What?"

"Made a little deal with the Chancellor. We keep a lid on it, they go back to school.

"On the university's expense," her word brings the first real smile to my face.

"Mm-hmm, 'cause, you know, if this got out, people might be judgmental."

She always manages me to astonish me.

"What are you gonna tell Danielle's father?"

"All he needs to know is that his daughter loved him very much."

Now I am about to cry. "Aww, Jane."

"What?"

I have to gather myself some seconds and stop the tears that want so desperately make it into my eyes. "I think that's really… That's really sweet."

She watches me for some seconds. "Oh, gross. Gimme the wine."

Jane can be so sweet, but she never wants to be praised for the good things she does. We eat further in silence. Every day I find another reason to love her more than the day before.

As we bring our plates to the dishwasher I pull her in for a tender kiss. A kiss that tells her how amazing, gorgeous, beautiful and adorable I think she is. How much I love her.

R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I

The next day was slow. Neither Maura nor Jane had something to do other than paperwork. After leaving a little earlier they both drove over to Beacon Hill meeting the realtor, receiving the key.

With some small arguments about Jane thinking that Maura was more creative and the right person to decide the colors and Maura trying to involve Jane in as much as possible, they settled for Maura submitting a color and Jane agreeing after listening to Maura's explanations why she would like this one.

Arriving at Maura's she called a painter and made an appointment for the next day.

Thursday was another very, very slow day at work. So they had time for a longer lunch break together in Maura's office and discussed further the timeline for the renovation. And decided, as they had the weekend both off to go and have a look at furniture.

After work they met the painter and talked over Maura's desired colors. They would be finished at Monday afternoon. Jane groaned mentally. This would mean a stressful weekend, shopping for furniture.

So she decided to use her hours at work on Friday to plan something, on the side, for the evening. They had both neglected their dating beside the cases completely.

After three hours of back and forth between two kitchen to decide, Maura settled for a baby-blue one and picked also shelves for the pantry and new chairs for her dinning table.

Jane has had a hard time finding the right place for their date. It should be something special and something where they could be alone. So she called in two favours from two different people.

Leaving towards Maura's Jane informed her about their date, without telling anything. She just told Maura to get dressed in anything she liked. After a big debate with herself about the clothes she was going to wear the evening she pulled into Maura's driveway at 8 p.m.

It was a quick drive over to Old South Meeting House. The night guard opened the door for them and only nodded a greeting, smirking and winking at Jane.

In front of the judges bench was a table, all set for a romantic diner. The room was only lit from candles, coming from four five-armed candlesticks.

"This is beautiful, Jane," she whispered smiling. The detective pulled out a chair for Maura and a waiter approached with a bottle red wine after Jane sat down herself.

They enjoyed their three-course meal and chatted lightly during beetroot soup as starter, honey-roasted duck breast with glacéed carrots and gnocchi as main course and candied pineapple and blood oranges as dessert.

Maura didn't know how long Jane had this planed nor how much money she had spent for this nor how much favours she had to ask in but she was once more smitten how sweet Jane was underneath the often rough exterior.

After their waiter had cleaned the table, he left the bottle and excused himself. Jane stood up and encircling the table, reaching out her hand to Maura.

"May I have the pleasure of a dance, Dr. Isles?"

"It would be my pleasure, Detective," Maura smiled and took hold of Jane's hand.

As if by magic a song was playing lightly in the background. Jane pulled Maura flush against her, her left hand intertwined with Maura's right one against her left shoulder, her right on the doctors hip. The M.E. didn't know this song, not the biggest surprise in regard of her lacking in pop culture, but the lyrics were exactly matching her feelings for Jane.

_Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away  
I've never been this close to anyone,__  
Or anything  
I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams_

_I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I want to spend the rest of my life,  
with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do,  
Baby I'm amazed by you._

The smell of your skin,  
The taste of your kiss,  
The way you whisper in the dark.  
Your hair all around me,  
Baby you surround me  
Touch every place in my heart  
And it feels like the first time  
Every time.

_I want to spend the whole night  
In your eyes_

_I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I want to spend the rest of my life,  
with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do,  
Baby I'm amazed by you._

_I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you  
It just keeps getting better  
I want to spend the rest of my life,  
with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do,  
Baby I'm amazed by you._

Maura's lips were at Jane's ear, whispering. *"Tu es l'amour de ma vie."

She felt the detective smiling. *"E tu sei l'amore della mia vita."

They just swayed for another minutes before Jane whisperes again. "Care to join me, Dr. Isles?"

Jane uncovered the piano standing on the right side of the courtroom and leaded Maura to the bench, sitting down herself beside the doctor. Slackening her fingers and started to play.

The first song was 'You are always on my mind' since this song wasn't that fast and she could get used to playing again. She switched over into the second song seamless. 'I'd do anything for love' was much faster in some parts. And the third song she played just because she really, really loves 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.

"Do you have a wish what I should play?" Jane looks over at Maura and perks up her eyebrows.

"Maura?"

"What? Sorry. I am… you are really amazing."

Jane smiled. "I asked for a song you wish me to play."

Maura looks down at the keys for a moment and then starts to play 'Ballade pour Adeline' by herself. Jane grinned and took hold of Maura's left hand and with their other hands they played together.

"I didn't know you could play… but I could have thought of that. Is there anything you don't know or do?"

"I neither did know you can play the piano. And quite impressive as well might I add."

"Thank you, but I have to stop now before my hands start to ache."

"You shouldn't have done it if it causes you any pain."

Jane smiled. "I wanted to. I didn't remember a piano standing here, so I decided this impulsively. This is one of the things Hoyt took away from me, but not anymore as it seems."

Maura closes her hands around Jane's face and kissed her gently. "I love you Jane. I adore you. You are incredible," she whispered against the lips of the Italian.

As they reached Maura's doorstep she was for a moment confused why Jane didn't really moved until she remembered their 'dating game' and turned fully around again.

She put her arms around Jane's neck and stood up on her tiptoes for a tender kiss.

"Thank you for tonight. I had a lot of fun and you are able to stun me every day all over again."

"I am sorry we got caught up so much and that I missed to continue our dating."

"Don't be. Come in. I want to be here and now again," Maura gripped the lapels of Jane's button-up and pulled her slowly over the threshold, while their lips seemed to be glued together.

"Would you like to go out with me tomorrow? Maybe dancing? I liked to dance with you tonight." She kissed Jane's ear. "I would like really touching and be near you outside from home," she whispered.

Maura's POV

I could feel the bass on the floor as we reached the entry hall, only three customers left before we could pass the doorman. I hadn't thought that Jane would be all good with the idea of visiting a night-club.

I had decided to wear dark blue skin-tight 'Genetic' denim, 'Martin Margiela' black leather boots with a mid-heel, a white top and a black leather jacket from 'Theory'.

Jane was wearing also jeans, a black one. Nearly flat black over knee boots, a gray top and a black fabric jacket. Her top was stretch-fabric and hugging every curve of her. I hadn't even danced for a second and was already slightly sweating.

We headed directly towards the bar, getting a drink and having a look around the club.

The last time I had been out to a night club was back in Harvard, dragged out by some fellow students. Maybe that's why Jane agreed so easily.

Whatever the case may be, I was happy she was here with me. We decided for a club in Randolph, to avoid bumping into to much of colleagues or people who knew Jane from her job. As less as it was an issue for us being seen together we liked to have at least a little privacy in such a public place.

We had taken a cab, so we both hadn't to stay with soft-drinks. Jane got a Cosmo for me and she got herself a Single Malt. As our drinks were empty I pulled her onto the dance floor.

At first Jane was a bit rigid but my hands on her hips helped her to loosen up a bit. I turned around and pressed my back against her front, my arms around her neck, Jane's hands on my hips.

"Jane relax, you are so hard."

I heard her laughing beside me. "There is something missing to be hard, but I am certain I would be."

Well I definitive hadn't meant it that way but it seems to relax her a lot and she matched my movements. The turned me around and we ended up with one leg between the others, her hands on the small of my back, tendency downwards.

We moved against each other and the seam of my jeans rubbed just in the right places all together with her motions.

"Now I am positive I would be," she whispered.

The delicious pressure of Jane's thigh against my clit and I couldn't stop the low moan escaping my lips, suddenly I was desperate for more contact. My hands landed on her buttocks and I pulled her pelvis harder against me.

I had no idea that dancing with her would have left me in such a state, after such a short time, but I should have known better. After all we were exactly mimicking all the moves we performed normally without clothes between us.

I didn't have to lean up that much, just stretching my neck slightly to kiss her, at first just barely. My lips brushing hers, then a little firmer and the kiss grew hungrier every second.

I wanted to touch and be touched.

Jane's hands slid down and she palmed my buttocks. So inappropriate in a crowded place like this and I am sure my mother would be shocked about my behaviour, but I can't help it. She drives me wild and crazy with nothing more than a glance.

I could feel the moan more than I could hear it above the loud music as I kissed my way along her jaw and my attention settled on softly biting and sucking her throat.

My body was in raw desire for her. It wasn't just a fire burning inside me, it was a conflagration, a blaze.

Her scent was the fuel to my fire and the movement of her abdomen muscles against mine was the dynamite.

Who would have thought that I would be so thrilled about climaxing in a loud night-club on a crowded dance floor. But I did. I came right there on Jane's thigh, moaning low into her ear. Riding it out until I couldn't take it anymore, under the pretext of dancing. And I really was thrilled. I never felt dirtier but so free, so at peace.

Sunday we stayed mostly in bed or onto the couch.

The following week was as slow as the days before. Jane was stuck with paperwork and I had some routine autopsies and paperwork myself to do.

After work we started to furnish the house, or more likely supervised the suppliers and handymen taking care of it.

I don't know how she did it but somehow Jane sneaked once a day into my office without me noticing it and put down a single rose on my desk. They alternated in colors and sorts.

The first day there was yellow 'Berolina', than a pink 'Big Purple', a 'Blanc Double de Coubert', an orange 'Belvedere' and on Friday a single red 'Baccara'.

Every of them had a small folded card with it.

"_Because you are the best friend I ever had"_

"_Because you are the prettiest I ever seen"_

"_Because you are the one I ever desired"_

"_Because you are my soul-mate"_

"_Because you are the love of my life"_

I put every of it in a glass at work and took it home with me in the evening, gathering them in a small vase on my kitchen counter. Collecting the cards in an old wooden chest in my study, that was holding some important memories of mine.

We had spent the whole week after work purchasing more furniture and other things for the house and hadn't been able to spend as much time alone as we both would have liked.

As we both were on call this weekend and couldn't get out of town Jane came up with maybe the sweetest idea ever.

Friday, after a glass at the Robber with Korsak, Frost and Frankie she excused herself while I went for a shower and she came back in slightly after an hour to tell me that we were leaving for the night. She told me to pack everything I would need to spend the night and anything I would need in case we were called in.

So after packing, she blindfolded me in the car. It was a very short drive and I had to promise not to peek while Jane disappeared for some minutes, leaving me in the car.

After she got me and guiding me carefully in front of her I found my self in the living room in the new house. A fire crackling, every window covered, a bed made from blankets in front of the fireplace and an Igloo tent in the otherwise still empty room.

That would be another chapter Jane would rewrite with me. The last time I was in a tent, was in Africa with a bulky Australian on top of me. I shivered at the memory. Ian wasn't a bad guy or had even bad intensions, but I had myself much too long entangled into his game of 'touch me but don't try to hold me'. And I had played along with him.

Jane had packed a picnic. There were salads, finger food like mini-spring rolls, dumplings, sesame balls and a container of cut fruits. And a chocolate fondue.

I had immediately the feeling that this would be the best 'camping night' in my whole life.

Luckily we didn't get called in that night. For once in my life fortune seemed to be on my side in the department of a relationship. I never was so happy in my life like I was with Jane and I think I never will be able to reach happiness without her again.

She had packed water and various fruit juices. We were on call after all. After our 'finger food diner' she conjured a bottle of champagne out of the picnic basket and poured only a half glass for both of us.

I picked up a strawberry, dipped it into the champagne and held it between my teeth. She took the hint straight away and we quickly ended up kissing and feeding each other chocolate covered pieces of fruits.

The point of 'still harmless' make out and heavy make out was crossed as she dipped my left index into the chocolate and captured it with her lips. She sucked slightly at my fingertip and dragged her tongue slowly along the backside of my finger.

I could have sworn my index had a directly connection to my center. The taste of Jane mixed with chocolate and strawberries invaded my senses as her tongue stroked mine. My finger tingled as I started to unbutton her shirt and pulled it with a jolt out of her jeans.

The moment my finger reaches for her belt buckle is always like an electric shock. I don't know why and I think I will never be able to explain this with logic, but anytime I do it, it is pure 'high voltage sex'. Not unbuttoning her shirt or her slacks, not unzipping something, not even disrobing her panties comes close to the moment when my fingers touch her belt buckle.

I know this is irrational. There isn't something special about her belt but it is my absolutely trigger. Thinking about it gives me shivers, let my nipples harden and makes me wetter than anything or anyone ever did.

After undressing me completely in her typical teasing manner, she took a strawberry between her fingers and let me have a small bite before she kissed me. As we parted the strawberry was covered in chocolate and sliding down my neck, followed by her lips and tongue.

I had to run twice as hard for a whole week after this night, because my metabolism isn't like Jane's and if I were able to think I would have regretted all this calories beforehand.

But thinking isn't one of my strength if Jane is somehow attached to my body and afterwards I wouldn't dare to regret any of it. Scientifically considered I am sure I worked every calorie down that night. I was not even that sore after our first weekend together.

*Amazed by Lonestar

* Tu es l'amour de ma vie - you are the love of my life

*E tu sei l'amore della mia vita - and you are the love of my life

_Search in Y-T for '__**vkgoeswild**__' – pretty awesome piano player 333 _

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.**

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	21. Money for nothing

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

_**But thinking isn't one of my strength if Jane is somehow attached to my body and afterwards I wouldn't dare to regret any of it. Scientifically considered I am sure I worked every calorie down that night. I was not even that sore after our first weekend together. **_

_**Mistakes are all belonging to me, I can't blame JTam on that, sorry ;)  
**_

Maura's POV

I got caught up with my past today. Jane and I went for a run in the park. It was warm, we were both still on call this Sunday and we needed to catch up with our workout for the marathon.

Just as we stopped to stretch and were talking delighted about what the spring brought out in nature and humans as our phones went off.

I wish I could be back in bed with Jane this morning and start the whole day over.

She is disappointed with me and I don't know if it is because I never talked about Garrett or the fact that she was showed off and realized that the worlds we grew up are so wildly diverged that it's seems impossible to cross this distance.

I am not good with thinks like that. Anytime I opened my mouth to make it better I only make it worse. Yes, I grew up in a world of money and prestige, of parties and gala's, of obligations and arrangements. There are parts of my upbringing in this world I like and there are parts I would rather deny. I am not ashamed to be raised with more money than necessary, this way I could make it work to get the best qualifications. But… I would renounce everything for her.

It was wrong to keep my past with Garrett a secret. I know that, I really do. I understand her. I had no time to tell her the whole story on the way from the crime scene to the Fairfield's. I couldn't discuss our private life in the backseat of an unmarked with Frost driving.

I wish I could undo this whole day.

I don't like 'what if's', but it's all I can think of. What if it was the other way around? What if Jane would tell me on a crime scene 'Hey, I was about to marry the brother of our victim.'

Okay I didn't say it that way, but I am sure it doesn't matter how I would have said it. The only thing that matter is what she said to me and her words seem to burn every cell of my brain.

"Wow Maura! Didn't you have time between work, meals and every days sex to tell me you were about to marry?"

After that sentence she was all 'Detective Rizzoli', more than ever before. She was hurt. She was sassy and protesting and arrogant and defiant. Macho behaviour and I can't even be angry about that.

There was no time to calm the waves until it got worse. I was a part of this family in the past, apart from all the problems I had with them and apart from my break up with Garrett and me cancelling our engagement I felt terrible for them, even if family means something really different for them than for Rizzoli members.

I know Jane, and I should have known that it would trigger her behaviour even further. It feels like I am standing in a gigantic sandtrap and there is no way out of it.

I touch the cold sheets beside me, anything smells like her. This day should end up so differently.

I woke up with the sun crawling out of her nights rest. I was, like every morning, in Jane's strong arms and her hot skin against my back screams 'home' in any possible languages.

It was late yesterday night and she was so fast asleep she didn't notice as I freed myself. After I silenced my screaming bladder she was laid on her back and I took the opportunity and crawled under the comforter between her legs.

I laid my left cheek on her right thigh. The tip of my nose scooting up and down the very thin strip of raven black hairs. She told me once she likes it and I like it too. Although the place where my nose was, wasn't maybe so innocent and what I was about to do even lesser, but this motion was. It is a display of affection, of closeness. There is nothing sexual about it and everything about love.

Midway through my very slow performance of a cunnilingus she woke and as she picked up the comforter to look at me with lifted eyebrows. I met her eyes and grinned a 'mission accomplished' into her face.

I never finished was I had started. Not for the lack of desire to do so but she pulled me up to her and we kissed for half an hour. We had planned to extent our run today, only slightly more than eight weeks left until Boston Marathon. We had planned a lot of things for today and for a lot of other days.

Probably never going to happen.

I insulted her. 'I'm sorry I couldn't stand there and just let you badger his family.' Badger! Badger? I always adored the way she works. I don't know where this came from.

The last words I said to her before she left were even much worse. 'As a medical examiner, it is my job to determine the cause and the manner of death, so I'll tell you whether there's a case here or not.'

I should eat crow. I should drive over to her apartment and beg on my knees for her to forgive me. It is not my pride stopping me. I have no pride when it comes to Jane, it is fear. Fear I screwed it up. I am afraid she will break up with me if I give her the chance to do so.

She even took Jo home with her before I came back from work. This could end really badly. I can't stop my tears from falling. I don't even have anyone to talk about my misery. No one knows about me and Jane, about the shift of things between us.

I called them my friends into her face. Friends! I don't have any friends beside Jane. There is no one coming over to tell me everything will be fine, to tell me to fight for my love. No one will hold my hands and wiping my tears.

I got myself up, walking over to the guestroom upstairs. I can't stand the memories the bedroom holds right now, even the guestroom downstairs smells like her. I never changed the bedclothes after our last sleepover as 'only' friends in there.

I got no sleep all night long. I watched the red digits change, minute by minute.

The first time I could lose my thoughts for some seconds was when Korsak came down into the morgue. He is like a father to Jane and he loves her to no end. He may be sometimes as worldly innocent as Jane is but he has a really good heart.

And he has a good insight into human nature too. He caught me trying to fool him. I don't know if he senses something between me and Jane, more than friendship. I am not the expert for human interactivities. He called me out on our behaviour and after he explained me that it was much simpler than I thought it was, I am feeling even guiltier.

I let her down. The one which should never doubt her, let her down. Korsak came down an hour later and told me how the Fairfield's lawyer had threatened Jane. I had the faint feeling this wasn't going to work for me.

Well, here we go Dr. Isles. Jane came down bringing me a bar of chocolate with gold flakes in it and all I have to ask is if she's making fun of me.

I don't know if she was there to really talk to me about our situation but I blew it up before there was any chance.

Again she leaves with words full of pain. "I… I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm not even sure whose side you're on."

This is obviously my clue. It didn't really matter I was once engaged and it didn't also matter any longer that I didn't told her. Maybe she was hurt about this but then it was all about loyalty.

I have to take my courage in both hands and drove over to see Garrett. There will be a lot of things to explain to Jane, later. If she will listen to me but this was my only chance to show her that I really have her back and I got the name of Adam's mistress.

Next time we met was on Adam's boat and I had to watch with my own eyes what she hates so much about privileged people and how easy it was for people of my upbringing to bend the law.

But Jane wouldn't be Jane if she would let someone impress her with money or status.

How much must it had cost her to strike her colours and admit she was obviously wrong, even more to voice it in front of all of us. But alone the first sight proved me to be the one who was wrong and after a short reconstruction in my head I called it a murder.

Back in the lap she was distant but my beloved Jane was already scratching underneath her shield, it was the way she talked to me and I was suddenly sure we would survive this. And as she asked me to get a drink with her I was eased enough to made fun about her gold flakes.

"So? You want to tell me what happened with Garrett?" she asks and tried to sound casually.

"Yes, but not here," I grab into my purse and pull out the envelope which was delivered to my office this morning. "I have a present for you."

She snorted. "Apology or bribe," she used both words that I named her chocolate.

"I wasn't gonna go, but you want access to my deluxe friends and I want you to be my guest."

She snorted again. "Won't I embarrass you?" Her question was more playful than serious and so was my answer.

"Probably. But haven't I embarrassed you before?"

She shakes her head. "No." Then she smiled. "More than half a dozen times," she added before she read the next part on the invitation.

"Cocktail dress required. Can I just go like this?" She asked seriously even if she knows my answer.

We are back. And I hope without any serious damage. "If you're going to embarrass me, at least do it in the proper clothes. Come on."

I watched her disrobe, we set for a blue dress. I would have rather seen her in a red one but considering the occasion blue was more appropriate. Before she could lift up the dress to try it I took all steps that were needed to press me up to her. I slid my hands around her, resting on her abs, kissed the space between her shoulder blades.

"I am sorry."

"It's okay Maura."

"No it isn't."

"Can we do this later?"

"Talking?" I asked her, licking over the same space I kissed before and earn a half playful 'Rizzoli-death-glare' in the mirror.

"Okay, okay." I took a step back. "I missed you last night."

"Yes that is very obviously," she answered turning around.

"It shouldn't sound that way, I …," She kissed me before I could finish my sentence.

"I missed you too. Let's get ready I have an appointment with my new fancy friends," she laughed.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She is such a natural beauty and in a dress every curve of her is more conscious to me than ever. I can't help my self to think of all the times I draw along any of it with my tongue or fingertips.

Yes, Jane Rizzoli wouldn't be who she is if she did for once anything you told her.

I explained her how to use her fish knife and she just speared it into her Branzino. Oh dear. I was in shock for a second but after that I felt the urge just to laugh heartily. I didn't.

As we were about to leave we caught Sumner and Adam's wife kissing in the hallway and after another half an hour watching Jane and Colburn colliding heads we arrive at Jane's apartment.

With a glass of wine for me and a beer for Jane we end up onto the sofa. I am sitting upright, my legs curled up beside me, her head onto my lap. I play left handed with her locks.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you."

Her eyes are searching mine. "You… I… I can't expect you to tell me about your past, maybe there is a lot I don't even want to know. But I thought, that if you where once about to marry someone, was something you would have told me."

"Yes I know. I know I should have told you and I really don't know why I didn't… Maybe I know… I thought about it once, to tell you I mean… but I was afraid of all the things that happened today."

I put my glass on the side table. "I was afraid to admit I once thought I loved someone. I was afraid you would cast doubts into my ability to read my feelings."

"Why should I do something like this? Do you think I was never in love or thought so? Was it serious between you two?"

"I thought so. I was twenty, everything felt serious. We could talk for hours and he was like me. Not much awkward as me, but insecure. He grew up with nannies and was neglected just like me. He and his father fought a lot."

Taking a deep breath.

"He was the first one who ever noticed me aside the visually or negative aspects. I lost my virginity to him. He was, retrospective, very tender but it wasn't what I had expected. I had read a lot about it and eavesdropped some conversation from other girls. It hurts a lot and it took me four month to do it again. He was patient, he never pushed me."

I took another sip of my wine.

"The second time was less painful but I wasn't with him, to afraid it would be like the first time. The third time was much more relaxed. One evening he proposed to me and I accepted, I don't know why after all. He had given himself a lot of liquid courage, it was the fourth time we had sex and I cried the whole time underneath him."

Another deep breath.

"He didn't harm me physically but emotionally. He wasn't as tender as before, he tried but his consumed mount of alcohol was blurring his vision and his senses. I tried to slow him down, he started to whisper. First they were nice words. How beautiful I was and how much he loved me, but as he started to claim me, to tell me I was his and I never had to do anything but being his wife and mother of his children it thunderstruck me.

I didn't want to be 'Misses Garrett Fairfield'. I was my whole life Constance and Richard Isles little daughter. I wanted to be someone on my own. I wanted to be someone other people remembering my name for me, not because I am from a wealthy family nor married into one.

The next morning I gave his ring back and broke off with him. He apologised hundreds of times and I wasn't really angry with him. I was more relieved than hurt. I liked him, maybe I even loved him but I didn't love him enough to spend my life that way."

Jane caresses my cheek and I smile to her. The whole story was in the past for me and nothing more than a story anymore.

"It took me whole four years to have sex again. The memory of our last night frightened me a long time. I never want to feel that helpless again. He didn't it to hurt me he just didn't sense it anymore."

Jane tries to say something but I motion for her that I am not done.

"Let me do this Jane, please. There is another man I should mention. Dr. Ian Faulkner. I met him when I worked in Africa. I know all of this must sound silly to you, but I thought for a long time he was the love of my life. He was a hero for me. He spends his whole life in humility for all those people. He wasn't working in the same place I was working, but we met often while organizing transports of relief supplies or other required things. We talked a lot and one night we ended up having sex.

I was blinded by him for a long time and we ended up having sex often. After I returned back from Africa he showed up two times on my doorstep. Well… let me say it like it was, he fucked me, took the supplies I bought for him and was back in Africa before I even knew what had happened. And if it wasn't for meeting you two weeks after his last 'visit' I would let him do it next time again. Because I thought I could call myself happy to get some of his limited time."

I took another sip of my wine. "So, that's the sad fairytale of the love life of Dr. Maura Isles."

"I don't…"

"Don't. I let anything of this behind me."

I wake up to Jo Friday barking. Maybe she's moping for being shut out of the bedroom. I am laying face down on Jane's back. We have twenty minutes until the alarm goes off. I close my eyes again being much too grateful to feel Jane underneath me.

As much thrilling as last night was, I would rather be ten years without sex, than one night without Jane by my side ever again.

I am about to doze off again as I hear a sound that should alarm me and I am just able to check mentally that my bottom is covered before the bedroom door opens and Jane's mother shows up in the threshold.

This was not supposed to happen!

I met her eyes and I can see the gears shifting. Jane. Maura. Naked. Bed. She just closes the door. There wasn't even time for me to panic.

"Baby. Get up, fast. Your mother."

"Nuuh, alarm… five minutes." Jane mumbles sleepily.

"No baby, your mother is here."

"What? Where?" She is suddenly fully awake.

"I am so sorry, she was in here. There was no time to stop what happened. I was half asleep myself and…"

"Stop Maura, don't freak out on me. I get that," she said while bouncing out of the bed. She put a pair of shorts and a shirt on and leans down to kiss me. "Get ready for work." She storms off towards her bedroom door.

I flinch as door and the frame meet hard. "Did anyone die? Is my house burning down? Are aliens destroying the world? No? Because there must be a very good reason for you to be here, Ma" I hear Jane hollering. "Using your keys-for-emergencies-only"

I can't hear what Angela answers but Jane isn't getting any quieter. "Well, that's what people do when they have sex."

"No we weren't drunk and this is none of your business and I wouldn't have to explain anything if you would for once in my damn life respect me and KNOCK."

However awkward this is, I have to go out there and face this whole situation. I put on some of Jane's clothes and move over to the other room.

Angela is standing in the kitchen, breakfast is ready and she smiles at me.

"Are you done shouting?" she asks Jane in a calm tone. "I want to apologise for walking in on you two. I made breakfast, have a nice day hope you are joining us on Sunday diner as usual."

Angela walks over towards the door and takes her jacket. Jane and I look at each other in totally disbelieve.

"Wait…," Jane whispers, than a tick louder. "Is that all you have to say?"

Her mother turns around, watching us both. "Look Jane, you are both grown up women, what you did or do in there," she motions towards the bedroom. "Or anywhere else isn't my business. All I want is no one of the both of you getting hurt and… if… if this between you two is just… casual, I hope it won't be affecting your friendship."

She baffles us both even more and turns around once more.

"Wait, Ma. You want some coffee?" She waved off. "No I already disturbed your privacy."

"No Angela. Please sit with us we need to get this out already."

She put her jacket back onto the hook and walks over. "So this isn't casual… is that what you are telling me?"

"No," we both answer at the same time.

She raises both of her hands in defence. "No offence girls, but in these days the world has changed a lot." She takes Jane's fingers into her hands, avoiding touching her palms. "Relax baby. Love has no gender. I am not that old and stupid, I thought you knew that. If you just had told me I wouldn't have set you up with guys. I am sorry, really."

Jane laughs. "Shut off, Ma. You shouldn't have set me up with anyone in the first place. I know that sounds silly but I am not gay. Although it doesn't matter whether gay or not. I love Maura and that just is it."

After breakfast Jane and I have to get ready and Angela is about to leave. "Wait Ma, why are you here, actually?"

"I just want to look if everything was fine here. You weren't here the last two times I was over so I brought my keys today. Have a nice day girls."

Jane looked at me as the door closed. "Well…"

"Yes, well…," is all I can answer.

It is really hard when realization hits you. I nearly married a man who murdered his own brother for money and I nearly let it destroy the best thing in my life and on top of that all I didn't fulfil my job very well.

I walk side by side with Jane up towards the pool. Same pace, same steps. Symbolising an unison. Garrett tried to use me for covering up his crime, used all the power of his name to inhibit Jane doing her job.

Jane is proud. Not for the fact that Garrett is a murder and she discovered it. She is proud for standing tall and tough against anything. Even against me. Garrett tries to pull the 'you know me' card on me and I can't suppress a bitterly laugh.

The only one I really know is Jane and I shouldn't have betrayed her loyalty.

She makes me trying beer and what can I say… I wouldn't trade it for a good wine but there will be ways to enjoy one or two or more in the future, hopefully.

I take both of her hands in mine over the table. Our gaze locked. I know she sometimes thinks that she isn't worth to be with me because we grow up so different.

"I don't really want to talk too much about the whole thing again but there is one thing you should never forget about me. All I ever need is you to love me."

_**So, next chapter is a huge leap in time, but you are not gonna miss something, trust me ;) **_

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.**

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	22. The gun goes - Jane

**So here is the 'huge leap'. As I told you, you are not going to miss something. Be patience. Thank again for all your support. Is a not a really long one, but it didn't felt like adding something. The next one will be long. Have fun. Love you. **

**Mistakes are on me ;) **

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

**_"I don't really want to talk too much about the whole thing again but there is one thing you should never forget about me. All I ever need is you to love me."_**

Jane's POV ( shorter chapter)

"Drop it."

He turns his MP5 towards me. "You, drop the radio."

I can hear the fear in Korsak's voice. "Jane? Jane what's happening?"

"Give me the cigarettes." I see his face turning into painful distorted anger. "You got till I count to three, or this cop is dead."

He draws his gun over to Frankie. "One" He scoots a step. "Two" He shove the tip of the MP hard into Frankie's rips.

Frankie screams in pain, Maura screams in fear.

Furious is understated. I am beyond mad as hell.

"All right, all right! They're right there." I point towards Frankie's head.

"Don't you screw with me." Oh god, how badly would I like to rip that ugly head from his neck, with my bare hands.

"Just stop, all right? They're in my jacket, under his head."

"Get them," he hisses.

I pull the packet out and hold them towards him.

"Give them to Bobby."

He could just have shot me. It just feels like dying. One of us, one of us killed his own partner. Killed at least one more colleague. Killed the poor anxious girl. If I don't come up with something really fast we are going to die also.

I turn my head towards Bobby and catch a glimpse at Maura. There is something in her face I saw only once before. Contempt.

I can see the smile he tries to hide. Oh he's so proud of himself that he blinded me all the time. Maybe I should rip his head off first. No. For something like him death is too gentle. A animal like him has to rotten in the living hell. A cop in prison. I would drive all the way once in a week only to see him dying slowly. Day by day.

"Smile. You're on Danny's camera."

"Danny didn't know that you were running the drug ring, but he must've suspected something. That's why he was wearing a wire and carrying a hidden camera."

I need time, I have to do something. I can feel Maura's eyes on me. I wish I could take her hand. I wish I could say her it'll be alright. I talk and listen, just playing for time.

"Nah. I'm not a son of a bitch." He laughs. He fucking laughs. In the last fraction of a second I see him lifting the weapon. He fires right through between Maura and me.

Maura throws her body over Frankie. Shielding him and I scoot over, shielding both of them. I touch her back. I need to touch her. Maybe it's the last time. I need her to steady me. I am going to fight for her, for my brother. Fight until my last drop of blood.

He rounds us. "I'm a freakin' hero. Now that I got what I need I'm just gonna sit tight and wait to be rescued. That is, after I shoot the three of you."

I hear the radio cracking. "I wouldn't do that, Bobby. Bobby it's over." Korsak's voice drones through the room and all I want to do is kiss Maura until she passes out. Not even I thought about that damn radio and situations like this are my fucking job.

She is so tough, so strong, so brilliant. The fingers of my left hand scooting over my brother's chest in search of Maura's. We both don't look down but our hands find themselves. I slide slowly over her hand, my fingers between hers, we both ball our hands to a loosen fist and squeeze.

_I love you. I am here. I never give up. I am always by your side. I trust you. I love you. I love you. I love you, always. _

We don't have to look at the other one to send all of this. It is the way her thumb strokes the scar on my left palm or mine caress her pinkie. My eyes never left Bobby, but all I can feel is Maura.

Hundreds of shots are ringing out from the street. I pray for a moment of distraction. I have to take him down before he can shoot me, or Maura and Frankie will die too.

Bobby grabs my neck and I can sense Maura's fingertips on my back, trying to get a hold on me. "It's fine." I can hear myself saying. It is fine. Maura and Frankie have a better chance without Bobby in the room.

Before he pulls me into the hallway Maura and I lock our glance for some seconds. I see all of her emotions. Fear, anger, rage, love. I don't want to say goodbye, so I look away and let Bobby pull me out of her sight.

He drags me up the stairs and I try to fight him. He can't shoot me, he needs me to walk out of here alive, but I will not hesitate to shoot him. Not one second.

As we reach the hall on the main floor there is devastation all over the place. I can see the sunlight. It's coming nearer. I see them all standing outside. Vince, Frost, Cavenaugh. I can see Crowe, Davis, Mullan, Miller, Foster. There are special teams all over the roofs and streets. They are all aiming towards us.

I try to get them a free shot. I pull at Bobby. I try to duck. No one is willing to take the risk. He pulls me down the stairs. No one takes the risk.

My thought drifts to Maura, to Frankie. My baby brother is going to die.

"Shoot him. Shoot him. Just shoot him" I scream of the top of my lungs.

No one is taking the risk. The last thing I hear is him saying that Frankie is probably already dead. And then time stops.

I feel his body pressed up to mine. His elbow touches my shoulder, his lower arm pressing onto my throat. I close my eyes. I have made my decision.

I can see Frankie. The little six-year-old, with the black locks and brown eyes. His nearly girl-like, soft face. The sun is shining, it is warm. We are in a park. I showed them how to make a loop from a cherry-stem with the tongue. Frankie is looking up to me. His cheeks redden from the heat, his eyes glistening in awe. I was always his Batman, Superman, Spiderman, his super hero.

Then I drift to Maura. It is nearly the same picture. Our first 'date'. We are standing in front of the pond. I can smell all the tulips and crocuses, but mostly I smell her. The sunlight brings out the red in her hair and her eyes are glowing. I remember how we shift between ending our high school-date and being the adult couple on the threshold with a tenderly kiss.

We never made it to the bedroom. Between kisses we pulled at blankets and cushions until we had somehow made it to create a place to love us in front of the fireplace. And love was all we did that night. Slow and tender. I remember how Maura laid with her chin on my chest after our first high. Leaning onto her left lower arm, drawing the position of my organs on my skin. Her left index finger only softly touching with her tip.

I close my hand around Bobby's. I pray. I pray for Frankie to make it. I pray for Maura to survive. I pray for Maura to survive if I don't make it. I pray for her to smile again. I pray for her to find someone who can love her like she deserves.

No one is taking the risk. I turn our hands with the gun in it. Press the barrel into my skin. All I see is Maura.

I see her face. Her face in all kind of states.

Her face in anger. Lowered eyebrows, her forehead wrinkled, her lips and eyelids tensed.

Her face in fear. Her lips and eyes open, her eyebrows raised, her nostrils flaring.

Her face in disgust. Her nose scrunching, upper lip raised, her eyebrows downcast and eyes narrowed.

Her face in contempt. Her face unmoved. The left side of her mouth raised into a smirk. The veins on her neck massive visible. One small dimple over her left upper lip.

Her face in sadness. Her eyes narrowed and her brows scooting together. Her lips small and slightly pulled down at the corners. Her chin nearly arrogant.

Her face in empathy. Her left eyebrow slightly raised. The left corner of her mouth lifted. Two small dimples showing above and under her left mouth corner.

Her face in surprise. Her jaw dropped, her eyes wide open with slightly raised eyebrows. Is it a positive surprise, her lips curl up into a smirk.

Her face in pleasure. Her lips parted. Her nostrils flaring. Her skin flustered. The tip of her tongue firmly pressing against the back of her upper teeth. First her eyes were always closed but now she searches for my eyes when she climaxes. I never asked why but I am quite sure it was a trust-thing.

Happiness. My favourite face. She beams. Her lips are raised and slightly open. The dimple on her left cheek showing. Crow's feet showing in the corner of her eyes. Her strings showing on her neck. Her eyes glowing.

I am taking the risk. I pull the trigger. I can feel my feet leaving the ground. Bobby claws on me. My body moves down with him. I feel free.

Her eyes. The first time I saw a different colour in it I didn't dare to ask. I thought I had missed her eye colour. The second time I saw it, I used Google. She has bi-coloured eyes. It depends on how the light meets her eye. Is it bright, her eyes are more green and the darker it gets the more brown is showing.

Her lips. They always taste like strawberries, no matter which lipstick she wears. I detected her secret. First she uses strawberry chap-stick, then powder, then lipstick, then powder, then lipstick again. That's seems also be the matter why I never have her lipstick on me.

Her hands. So soft. The hands that are capable to kill in hundred of different ways, but they only bring closure and peace and love and trust and hope.

My eyes open up and I still see Maura. It must be the loss of blood 'cause she's wearing today's dress. It's the last thing I see. Maura.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	23. The gun goes - Maura

This will be a veeeeeeeeeeeery long chapter, so skip work or school or sleep or whatever you are about to do :) Forgot about that :) The 'Italics' are backflashes, but I think you will know that anyway :)

**Mistakes are on me ;) **

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

Maura's POV

I touch Jane's left shoulder blade, she shields Frankie and me as Bobby rounds the table, we are all close to. I know she will take every bullet he may be firing off. I know it and it scares me nearly to death. Suddenly I lose her, she's pulled away. I try to get a grip on her but it is a lost battle. Is there a bigger word than panic? I am in panic or more the not existing increase of it. The last words we may ever be hearing from the other is me pleading 'no' and hers 'I'm fine'.

I watch them leave and I feel my heart freeze. I hear Frankie whimpering for Jane. I hear Jane groaning and huffing. I hear a sound I can't really classify. Then a small explosion goes off. Thirty second earlier, they had to be here damn thirty seconds earlier. Men with machine guns are storming into the morgue. I lift my arms and plea them not to shoot. The EMT's are following them.

I inform them about Frankie's state of injuries as fast as I can. I have to follow Jane. I have to. I run upstairs as fast as possible for me. I hear Jane screaming. She screams over and over to shoot him. I round the corner. Without thinking about anything I burst through the doors onto the steps. All I want is to get to Jane.

Jane is screaming on the top of her lungs. "No" It is the cruellest sound I've ever heard. It feels like my blood freezes and then the second worst sound follows. One gun shot.

I try as fast as I can to reach for her.

First step. I watch how Bobby takes off from the floor.

Second step. He lifts Jane up with him.

Third step. They start to fall.

Fourth step. Jane lands onto him, his arm loosens around her.

First stride on the floor. I realize Jane is hit by a bullet.

Second stride. She opens her eyes and while she turns to her side her eyes also turning to the back of her head.

Third stride. Her eyes close and her head goes limp.

I fall down onto my knees. I press my hands onto her entry and exit wounds. I feel her heartbeats.

Thumb. Thumb. Thumb.

Nothing.

I am torn for a moment. I am blank. What to do? For heavens sake I am a doctor and I am about to let the love of my life die under my finger tips.

"I need hands here, fast."

Korsak is first on his knees by my side. He overtakes her wounds. I start CPR. I don't hear anything. I don't feel anything. The only thing I feel is her non beating heart. Suddenly I am pulled away.

I don't know who is holding me and it doesn't matter. I sit with my bottom on the sidewalk, my legs are bent to my left side. I shove myself harder into the embrace. My hands grabbing arms, closed around my chest. I stare at Jane and the EMT's. The spot on her shirt is now really large. Her blood is forming a slowly running, steady creek onto the asphalt.

Through a thick cloud of fog I hear voices. "One. Two. Three. Clear." Jane's body jerks.

"Nothing." Electric shock number two jolts through Jane's body.

"Nothing"

"Come On Jane. Come on." This time the shock is so hard her body darts into the air.

"Nothing. Again."

"Nothing."

"One. Two. Three. Clear."

I wasn't able to think straight.

"We are losing her. Clear."

I was fighting against the arms which were holding me.

"For fuck's sake Jane, fight. Fight for your damn life." I didn't really realize it was my own voice screaming at her.

Silence.

I never prayed in my entire life. I didn't even know to whom I should pray.

_Please Jane fight for your life, if you don't want to fight for your own sake then for mine. _

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

I felt like my own heart stopped. How often would they try it before recording the death? I didn't know anymore. The gruesome moment ticked in thousandths of a second and would just swallow me up.

_When the last pointer freezes _

_and the world stops spinning, _

_everything starts turning into darkness, _

_I want to die in your arms._

"YES! Thank God we got her…"

My whole body was shaking, I felt terrible sick and freezing to death. Then everything went black.

As I came back they still where working on her. Stabilizing her for the transport. The EMT's tried to ban me from the bus.

"Do you have any idea with whom you are talking, boy," Korsak grumbled. "This woman is able to squash your reputation with one damn call. You never get a damn job in the whole world again."

I wasn't even upset about Korsak's behaviour. All I needed was to be with Jane. Maybe I even had threatened him by myself.

The whole ride along I could hear the blaring of more than one siren. We where flanked with two unmarked and a squat car with flashlights which was in front of us. They worked on Jane and I sat there and tried to concentrate, staring around. Steady whispering.

I felt like a damn spectator. I took everything in what happened around me. It doesn't even interested me, but I just couldn't stop it. It felt like my mind tried to save me from thinking about Jane.

Just as we reached the hospital another patrol car raced towards us.

Jane's parents emerged out of the still rolling car. I followed Jane. I didn't feel like I was one of the doctor's. I even had problems to understand the terms they used about Jane's condition.

A nurse stopped me at the doors of the theatre. I slid down the wall next to the red line. I don't know how long I sat there, but I know and I never will forget the film that was playing.

I saw everything that I didn't seem to notice in front of the head quarter. Infinity loop.

I saw the horrible look on Detective Korsak's face, how he lowered his gun and started to run.

I saw Detective Frost closing his eyes, turning as white as a sheet of paper. Frozen in shock.

I saw Lieutenant Cavenaugh's face in pain, also starting to run.

I saw all the faces I work with on a daily base on the other side of the street as I turned, all in shock, in anger, in rage, in pain, helplessly.

I saw Jane shot herself. I hadn't realized she had shot herself.

I looked down to my hands which were laying on my knees, pulled up to my chest. They were red, red up to my wrists. I saw my bloody hand and fingerprints on Lieutenant Cavenaugh's sleeves. I saw Korsak's bloody hands.

All of us drenched in Jane's life.

I saw Angela sobbing into Frank's chest. Frost was somehow missing.

I have to wake up from my out-of-body-state, but I don't know how. I close my eyes. Not to sleep, I just don't want to see her blood anymore.

_"Do it." I whispered. I searched her eyes._

_"Do what?" Her lips moved back down to my neck._

_"Mark me."_

_She choked and was up like a lightning to meet my eyes again._

_"Excuse me? I thought for a moment I heard Dr. Isles, the same quirky person that holds lectures about broken blood vessels and other stuff, asked me to cause a hickey on her neck."_

_I smiled simply and presented my neck even more._

_"Go on. I want you to do it. Mark me."_

_She lent down and whispered. "Don't mock me when you have to wear turtlenecks or a scarf." She sucked harder at my pulse point in the crock of the neck and seconds later a large red point stuck out harshly on my pale skin._

_"Mine." She giggled and kissed slowly down over my chest, between my breasts and lower._

_"Yours" I whispered. "Always yours." _

A doctor came out of the theatre and walked over to us. I feared the worst, she wasn't in there long enough considering of her injury.

He informed us about Frankie's state. Frankie. I had totally forgotten about him. He was asleep and would be a little powerless for a while but he would be okay.

"_The human vagina is only __2.8 till 3.1 inches in an__ unstimulated state up to __4.3 till 4.7 inches__ in a stimulated state long, so it isn't really a matter of length. You only need barely 5 inches at last to reach up to the cervix. But with a perfect angle and the right partner much lesser can be mostly pleasurable and satisfying. Not considering that 70 up to 80 percent of all women are not being able to reach an orgasm from simple penetration. This one," I pointed towards the strap-on. "Is obviously arisen from your wishful thinking Detective Crowe and it could be quite painful." _

"_Wishful thinking?" Jane asks, knowing that I just waited for a good pass._

"_Yes. The most presents are picked out considering the givers own desire."_

_The whole bullpen starts laughing and pointing at Crowe. _

_As we got out of the car I walked over towards the trash can with the whole package from Crowe and get rid of it. _

"_What are you doing?" Jane asked loud, her face in shock._

"_What do you think I am doing? Throwing this crudity to where it belongs," I answered disgusted._

"_And if I'd like to keep it?"_

_I turned like a lightning on my heels. "Really? This," I fidget with my hands. "Monster never happens to come near me. If you really consider penetrating me with a phallus shaped object nearly as long as my whole lower arm…"_

_Jane started laughing and walking over to me. "No not really. I just wanted to see your face."_

"_So you think that's funny Rizzoli? Maybe I should get it out again and try it on you."_

"_Ouch… never mind. I just sleep in the dog house."_

"_Jo doesn't even have a dog house and if she had one you would be much too large for it."_

"_It's a saying Maura. For being kicked out of the bedroom." _

"_As long as your friend stays where he is there is no need for me to kick you out of the bedroom. If you are really interested in…"_

"_Yes Maura, I think that's a real good thing to discuss in the middle of the street," sarcasm dripping from every word. _

"_We are not in the middle of the street, Jane."_

"_Oh pardon me, we are in the middle of the driveway, beside the street. Maybe your neighbours didn't hear us," she raised her voice a bit. "Well, I would love to fuck you with a silicon penis."_

_I looked at her, shaking my head and marched up to the front door. "I will wait inside, if you like to talk." _

"_Do you want to… try it?" Jane asked._

_I looked briefly at her for a moment. "I don't know. I never thought about it. Well there could be some benefits of using a strap-on. As having both hands free to do other things but on the other side your fingers are so much more sensitive and flexible. I never climaxed from only penetration, before you."_

_Jane moved her jaw from side to side. "Well… my biggest problem is… Well I am afraid…"_

"_I don't miss anything, Jane."_

"_That's not what I was saying. No idea how to say that… Look, between you and me, it's different. Since the first time I slept with you I suddenly find sex with a man primal, odious. I don't know if I would like getting that back into my bed again."_

"_Mhhh, just because some of us will be wearing an artificially penis doesn't mean we have to act like a man and there are a lot of colours, shapes, sizes." _

_Jane looked confused towards me. _

"_I am not saying I just changed my mind. I am only trying to limit down your anxieties." I pulled her in for a kiss. _

"_Maybe we should have a look at it, to weight all options. There are so many possibilities. Maybe you want me to use it on you, if I chose that I don't want you to use it on me. Or the other way around. Maybe we both don't like it and decide against it completely. Maybe we should just try it for once and let us both lead from there. If we chose to get one it doesn't mean we have to use it all the time. We don't have to decide it today. Maybe in a year we think different. There are so many things to think of."_

"_Well than get your tablet Dr. Isles and let us sort this out like two adults," Jane grinned. _

"_First of all I want to rule out everything that looks like a real one. I am not a man and I never found the look of it very attractive." Jane said in a serious tone._

"_Fine. I am in. I don't want one larger than maximum six inches." I stated. _

"_Fine. I am in too."_

"_Look. There are so much options," I pointed to my tabled. "Vibrating, varieties of shapes and colours and fabrics. Okay another thing I want to rule out. Although it could be much stimulating I don't want one with extra accessories like a clit or anal stimulator."_

"_Fine with me. Is there anything else than these damn harnesses? I don't want to feel like a sledge dog with all those straps and strings and rings." Jane laughed._

"_Mhh…, yes look here are panties. That looks a lot better. Problem there, you can't be completely naked."_

"_Obviously there will be problems all over the place, don't know Maura."_

_I pulled Jane on top. "Me neither," I said and kissed her. _

"_I am as much as happy as I can be, so screw male anatomy we don't need that. All I need is you," another kiss. _

"_And if we like our hands on other parts we just use our legs or hips or bellies or…," I whispered directly into Jane's ear._

I felt a hand touching my shoulder. Detective Korsak was holding a paper cup of coffee for me. I took it and closed my eyes for a moment, signalling him a 'thank you'.

_As I woke, the bed was empty but still warm. I stroked over the fabric of Jane's cushion, got up and creep down the hall just like god has created me. Lights flickered at the walls and the ceiling. I stopped in the threshold to my study. Jane sad there with her back to the door at the piano and had lit all the candles at the window. She was so drowned in her playing that she didn't hear me._

_It´s never been easy for me _

_to find words to go along with a melody _

_but this time there´s actually something on my mind _

_so please forgive this few brief awkward lines _

_since I met you my whole life has changed _

_it´s not just my furniture you´ve rearranged _

_i was living in the past but somehow you´ve brought me back _

_ and I haven´t felt like this since befor Frankie said, "Relax" _

_and though I know _

_ based on my track record _

_ i might not seem like the safest bet _

_all i´m asking you _

_ is don´t write me off just yet _

_ for years i´ve been telling myself the same old story _

_that i´m happy to live off my so called former glories _

_But you´ve given me a reason _

_to take another chance _

_ now I need you dispite the fakt _

_that you´ve killed all my plants _

_and though I know _

_i´ve already blown more chances _

_then anyone should ever get _

_all i´m asking you _

_is don´t write me off just yet _

_don´t write me off just yet _

_Jane began to play again and I pressed my body into hers from behind, slid my arms trough hers and laid my fingers on the moving hands. I had liked 'Ballade pour Adeline' from the first time I heard it as a kid and it remided me about our date._

_Jane held her fingers still and looked at her hands where I touched her. _

"_I've thought for a long time I could never played again, after Hoyt." I wrapped my fingers around the hands and caressed her softly. Jane turned around and pulled me down to straddle her lap. _

"_There is something I want to ask you, but I'm afraid of it." _

_Jane smiled at me. "Don't be, just spill it." _

"_Your mother mentioned earlier that she liked you to wear a dress at…," I stopped mid-sentence and looked down. _

_Jane pulled up my face and smiled brightly. "At the wedding?" _

_I was shyly and embarrassed. "Yes. Can you imagine to marry me one day?" _

_Jane still smiled. "Are you really asking me that? I would marry you in a heartbeat," she answered and kissed me gently. _

"_Jane I want to visit my parents with you. I have to tell them about us and I don't want to do it on the phone." _

_She just nodded and I shivered under my emotions as Jane carried me back to our bed._

Angela wants me to leave my spot on the floor, I notice everything in my body is stiff and in pain. It has to be this way. It is the only sign for me to be sure that I am still alive. I refuse to leave my place. My head starts spinning. Incoherent, randomly sentences running through every fibre of me.

_"So, so pretty."_

"_Well, not every hooker has a heart of gold. All right, sister?"_

_"The one that shows we're barely going to get through the door before you start tearing my clothes away." Jane grinned. "Good thing for you I like that look on your face, doctor."_

"_But I am not running like lady 'puke' gaga."_

_"I have to apologize to you. I shouldn't have kissed you without permission."_

"_I think I will never reach down to the bottom of you."_

_"And, of course, it is totally unselfish of you to accompany me."_

"_Is there included that I'm not allowed to tell you how beautiful I thing you are or how super sexy smart I think my geeky doctor is?"_

_"Nah, I have some secretly skills."_

"_There was nothing more that I dreamed of than to kiss you."_

_"What get's me every time is that damn clicking of your heels. That's like a hypnotising drumbeat."_

"_What happened to 'I will always support you and take every step with you'? I am not fragile either, Maura."_

This damn waiting gets the better of me. With any minute passing by I am getting more desperate. Five and half an hour.

I am looking at my watch.

Ballon bleu de Cartier, 33mm, Roman numerals, stainless steel body, grooved crown gemmed with a spinell cabochon. Sapphire glass, 12 zone flinqué-face, sword-shaped hands. $4.530. Nothing of that is helping.

Are things like this the first signs for loosing your mind?

I feel someone touching my shoulder. "Why don't you go and clean yourself up a bit and change," I am staring into a nurse's face.

I shook my head. "I am not moving until I know she is alive."

"She will be in there for some more hours."

"I. AM. NOT. MOVING!" I didn't even know I could get so angry and loud.

In a heartbeat Angela is by my side. "Hey honey, calm down. No one will make you leave."

She is as much devastated as me. How could she not. Two of her three children could have died today.

I am back in the morgue. Frankie is laying on one of my tables. I know Jane didn't yell at me because she was angry. She was afraid, horrified, yes but I needed that. I needed her faith into me, to trust myself to be able to do that. Her bumping me into action.

My hands were shaking, my head spinning. I never liked to work with living patients, but this was Frankie, Jane's brother. My brother. Could it get more worse? Yes it could.

Goose bumps creeping over my skin. Not the good one which Jane causes me. The ones that will make you freeze and where you can feel the panic creeping through your veins. Suddenly realisation hits me hard. Jane died under my fingers today.

Does she know I love her? Really know? Does she really know what she means to me? Does she know she is the love of my life? If I had ask her to marry me would she had shot herself?

Strangely enough, I am not angry or furious with her. I know she only did it because for her there was no other way.

But what if? I don't like what if's!

I will lose everything!

My best friend, my family, my love, my life.

The way she looks at me. She always knows. She looks just right into my heart. The way we communicate without words. It is like a magical band between our minds and it is sexy as hell in bed.

She knows when I need words, when I need a hug, when I need a touch. No one ever applied a lot of effort to look behind my awkwardness, behind my insecurity masked with clothes and science.

And it is creepy, somehow, but in a good way. Can creepy be good? Yes it can. It is creepy but I love it. She always knows how to touch and where. How much or how few pressure I need and when I need it.

She knows when to claim me and when to let me. When to pull and when to push. Without a single word. We can talk and we often talk a lot while we love us, but never about it. I never have to guide her, never to voice where I need her.

It is like clockwork. Like two pinion working because of the other one.

She never let me beg for something, although I do it often. I know what it does to me when she whispers in my ear not to stop.

I never wanted to fall for someone so hard. I thought I never could fall for someone so hard. Not until I met Jane.

"Honey…," Angela whispers in my ear. She is on her knees beside me, her hands cupping my face. "Honey, I have to look after Frankie. I have to know he's okay."

She kisses my left temple. "Honey, she's strong… she loves you," she whispers before she gets up.

Six hours and eighteen minutes.

Where did she shot herself? I try to remember. It had to be her liver. Penetrating gunshot wound. The bullet had killed Moreno in an instant.

_I was lying on my left side, constantly shivering. The faint dusk of sweat on my skin was rapidly cooling, maybe that part intensified my shivering, but mostly it was the aftermath of a marvellous hour of love. My nose touched her neck and my right hand caressed the right side of her abdomen. _

"_Did you know that the liver is the only human internal organ capable of natural__regeneration__of lost__tissue__; as little as 25% of a liver can regenerate into a whole liver?__Regeneration is very rapid. The liver will return to a normal size in one to two weeks following the removal of greater than 50% of the liver by mass._

_This is predominantly due to the__hepatocytes__re-entering the__cell cycle__. That is, the hepatocytes go from the quiescent__G0 phase__to the__G1 phase__and undergo mitosis. This process is activated by the__p75__receptors._

_The two earliest human liver transplants were performed by__Thomas Starzl__in the__United States__ in 1963__and__Roy Calne__in__Cambridge__,__England__in 1965, respectively."_

_I drew a picture of her liver on her skin with the nail of my right index._

"_The liver is divided into eight segments by Claude Couinaud. The divide between the left and right lobe of the liver is functionally vertically in the region of the gallbladder and anatomically at the __Ligamentum falciforme hepatis,__ a ligament that attaches the__liver__to the anterior, ventral, body wall."_

This day will be forever etched on my memory. The very first of much perfect days in my life.

Six hours and forty-nine minutes.

I still register everything around me clearly. Korsak is sitting on one of the typical plastic chairs. His body is bent forward, fidgeting with his hands all the time. He teeters the whole time, like he tries to sooth himself.

Frost arrived two hour after us. I heard a doctor whispering with Cavenaugh about him. He obviously had to be brought in with a nervous disintegration. He was pale and looked nausea, showing massive signs of hospitalism.

He strode up and down the hall like a wildcat in their all too small cage. Lieutenant Cavenaugh did the same, stopping every then and there, leaning against a wall.

Frank standing with his back against the wall, his head hanging, hands in his pockets.

There where no conversations at all. Sometimes Frank whispers some words to Angela. Sweet nothings, trying to calm her nerves.

"_Dr. Isles." I answered my phone after the second ring. I had no clue what horror was waiting on the other end of the line._

"_Dr. Isles, it's me Korsak," I was already highly alerted at his tone._

"_What happened?"_

"_Jane. She's…"_

"_On my way," I didn't even grab a jacket or my purse or anything. It was the first time I drove my car without any documents. It didn't matter. I didn't know what happened, but Korsak sounded really scared and so was I._

_I rushed into Mass. Gen. and Angela, Frank, Frankie and Korsak waiting. Angela started crying again after seeing me._

"_Where is she and what happened?" I asked._

_Korsak took me by the elbow and walked with me a few steps away._

"_Hoyt… we split and checked some addresses… and I was to late… I was to late…"_

"_Please tell me what happened?" I asked again._

"_She was… I don't know how… but she somehow… she found Hoyt and texted me, but I was too far away… she didn't wait for me… she went in there alone," he was pale and sweaty and nervous. _

"_I found an entry into the basement and Hoyt was leaning over her… I shot him twice… and then… oh God… he had pinned her to the ground… scalpels through her hands… I… I couldn't help her… so much blood…I was too late."_

_I grabbed both of his arms. "Where is she?" My stomach screamed to loose its content._

"_In there…," she motioned for the door towards the OR. _

"_Was she unconscious?" I asked further._

"_No but…," he swallowed hard. "She cried and she wouldn't say anything, nothing."_

"_I try to get some information on her condition," I said to him and turned around the corner._

_I didn't come very far, after two steps I leaned against a wall and started crying. For the first time in my life I lost my doctor's patience. _

Seven hours and twelve minutes.

_Jane was lying in her hospital bed. Turned away from the door. I was standing outside and watched the situation inside through the large window. _

_Angela was standing beside Jane and spoke to her. I couldn't hear anything but I saw her lips moving. That time I didn't know if Jane where answering but I saw her flinching violently as Angela tried to touch her shoulder._

_She stayed in the room for another ten minutes, crying and talking. Then she came out slowly. She looked over to me._

"_She refuses to talk, she won't let me touch her," she sobbed. "Maybe she will talk to you."_

_I swallowed. I wasn't sure about that. "I don't know Angela. I don't know what happened and I don't know how she will react to me."_

_Angela looked up for some seconds. I steadied myself and opened the door to her room. I walked slowly around her bed and before I could look at her, she visible scooted to the other side of the mattress. _

_I was helpless for a moment. Did she move away from me in fear of me touching her? She looked up to me and her eyes ask me to sit. So I sat down beside her, carefully not to hurt her._

"_Will I ever be able to hold my gun again?" she asked me whispering._

_I cupped her left cheek with my hand and she started to cry._

Seven hours and forty-two minutes.

"_Please you have to eat something…,"the nurse started as I walked into the room. Just as Jane slapped the fork out of the nurses hand with her elbow. _

_As the nurse spotted me she got up and walked out of Jane's room. I sat down wordless on her mattress._

"_Doesn't look very delicious," I stated. "I got you something."_

_I pulled a small take-out container out of my purse. _

"_If you let me fed you the half of your meal there may be some tiramisu waiting for you."_

"_As the genius you are and as an employee of the law enforcement you should know that bribing is prosecutable," she wasn't really able to hide her smile._

"_Maybe you are worth it to break some laws," I grinned. "Jane, why are you refusing to speak to anyone but me?"_

_She looked at me for a moment and then turned her head. I cupped her left cheek and locked our glances. _

"_Don't do that Jane. You don't have to answer if you don't want, but don't push me out. I only ask because you mother and Korsak are both desperate."_

_She sighed long and heavy. "Because. Because Ma will only fuss about how dangerous my job is and how I could be doing better and that I need someone to take care of me, need to marry someone, settling down, pop out her grandchildren, bla, bla, bla. And Korsak? How I am supposed to look in his eyes again? And all the others. Frankie and all the other cops, they know how stupid it was of me and…"_

"_Hey, hey. Maybe it was stupid, but you went in there for a reason. You went in there because you thought Dr. Catrell was still alive and she was and she is, because of you. I know you only acted on your instincts and Detective Korsak would have done the same. No one is mad at you or think poorly of you. You saved her life and blessedly your partner arrived just in time to save you also."_

Seven hours and fifty-four minutes.

There is movement at the door and before the doctor can even say the first letter of her name I am on my feet.

I already could see on his face that it would be bad news he had to tell. Instantly silent tears streamed down my face.

"Dr. Steven Langley. I assisted Dr. Slucky during surgery. We could stop the bleeding and had to transfuse a lot of blood. The bullet went through her liver but it also damaged her right lung, her heart and her superior caval vein."

I closed my eyes and tried to prepare myself for his next words.

"She will be transferred to ICU while we talk. We are really sorry but I have to tell you, that she is far from stable and that only time can show if she will make it."

Angela sobbed loudly and my whole mind went blank, I could not remember any question I wanted to ask.

"I am really sorry I have no better news for you but we do everything in our power to help her. If you want you can go to see her. Dr. Slucky will meet you as soon as possible at the ICU. I am really sorry."

Angela grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard. The whole way over to ICU she didn't let go of it. We trot like a cortège through the hallway onto the other side of the building. I felt like I walked up to her funeral.

We were led into a small room with some chairs, one of it holding a stack of scrubs, surgical caps and masks. There was a huge window with closed white blinds witch where opened from a nurse on the other side.

My eyes were never leaving the slowly becoming visible sight of Jane. I will be never able to really forget the horrible scene in front of me.

The love of my life like a lifeless shell, attached to every life-sustaining-machine a hospital has available.

I went for the bathroom to wash my hands, as I saw her blood circling into the sink, mixing with water I hadn't nearly enough time to reach the toilet before my stomach contents were in my mouth. I threw up until I was totally empty and not even bile would be coming out anymore.

**Thank you very much for your time, review would be awesome.**

**Special thanks to OxymoronForLife for reading my bullshit ;) and being my beta 3**

**Twitter: rizzlesshipper4ever**


	24. The first night

**Thanks a lot for all of you 'defending' me but let's not get over board with it :) Anyone has the right to representing their view, opinion or mind. Thanks although. I appreciate any review, good or bad. **

**But I may add something. I don't read a lot of stories here and I really don't have time to read every story and compare my chapters with them in search of similar facts, words, sentences or scenes. That would take weeks or month. I don't copy any stories, maybe I had a likewise idea… I can't really say that. But I can't and won't do such a time-consuming undertaking. **

**I asked some writers of 'pure crime stories' for permission to use the schematic frame of their crimes and rewrite them on my own, because I liked their ideas. Among others, I chose Fenway03 (loved 'Save me' and 'Killing me softly' so much) and was allowed to do so, but after a long talk with a friend I decided against it.**

**If there are similar scenes or something, that wasn't and isn't intentional, but at some point, someone has written already about something and some things are repeating itself.**

**There are maybe hundreds of stories where they have dates with movies, candle light-dinners, dancing, fireworks, flowers, rings, proposing. Where they have sex in public, in Maura's office, morgue, bed, floor, against a wall/door, on the table, in the car, on the car (maybe), in the shower, in a public bathroom, in the woods, on the beach. I could go on for hours and someone will already have written about it. **

**I am sorry if I leap onto somebody's feet, feel free to contact me.**

**Last but not least 'Happy Birthday' to the fabulous Sasha Alexander.**

**Mistakes are on me ;) **

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

_**I went for the bathroom to wash my hands, as I saw her blood circling into the sink, mixing with water I hadn't nearly enough time to reach the toilet before my stomach contents were in my mouth. I threw up until I was totally empty and not even bile would be coming out anymore.**_

Maura's POV

After Jane's trauma surgeon had talked to us. I let Angela and Frank walk in first, to see her. I wouldn't leave her side anyway if I was once inside the room.

Frank leaded his wife relatively fast outside the room again, she had broken down completely beside Jane's bed.

Jane's father leaned over towards me and put his hand on my shoulder. "She needs some fresh air. I'll bring you some coffee," he whispered.

"Would you like for me to accompany you?" Korsak asked me. I didn't know what would happen once her smell would mix into the trouble I had already with the view in front of me.

I nod once, silently. He opened the door for me and I took an audible deep breath before I stepped over the threshold.

There she was. Pale and powerless between the white sheets of a hospital bed, wires and tubes coming out and going into her. Chest tube atrium on the floor, endotracheal tube, intensive respirator and her wrists bound to the bed.

I know why they did so, but my first shocked response was a loud gasp. "Are they insane? She will be panicking when she wakes up, pinioned."

There was a hand on my shoulder and squeezed me lightly. "I'll make sure they take them off, immediately." Korsak whispered.

Her cardiogram was flat but constant, for now. Her pulse, so low. After all she wasn't over the worst. Even if she obviously had tried to minimize the damage, the angle the bullet had entered her was far from optimal. She seems to not have calculated that they had both fought for her gun. It could have been worse but it was far from harmless.

I sensed body heat beside me and without moving my eyes from Jane I slowly shoved my hand in Detective Frost's, between our bodies.

Knowing how much they both cared for each other I felt the need to connect with him for some moments. I needed it and he needed it too. Before he left, after just a view minutes, he squeezed my hand slightly. Sending sympathy, without any words. Lieutenant Cavenaugh sighed heavily beside me, staying just some seconds. Touching Jane's shoulder once and while he turned around patting my left upper arm twice.

Apart from my little breakdown in the bathroom I was apparently still not able to feel. It was horrible, but I felt like I was inside of a vacuum. I was waiting for my long overdue emotional apocalypse and the longer it lasts the worse it would be.

Frank brought me a large coffee and pulled a chair for me towards Jane's bed and before he left towards Frankie's room he whispered into my ear. "You don't have to be so strong," his large hand caressed surprisingly soft one time over the back of my head. Then I was alone with Jane.

The next time the nurse came to check on Jane she freed her wrists and fixed her fingers lightly with a gauze bandage. In case Jane tried subliminal to pull at her attachments, she wasn't able to do it.

I sat down beside her and my right hand wandered under her blanket onto her right thigh. The moment I touched her skin my breakdown came full-force.

I had cried often in my life but what was wrecking my body now was the furthest away from just crying. I felt like I had frozen inside, like I had shattered into million pieces, like I never knew what happiness felt like. I didn't remember how it was to be happy.

It's hard to explain. Maybe dying felt like this. It felt like something was heavily sitting on my chest. Preventing me from breathing, preventing me from being alive. Panic, the strongest fear I've ever felt, deep down to the core.

At some point my brain must have shut off. Shielding me from the grief and the overwhelming emptiness. I woke to a hand on my shoulder. Detective Korsak besides me.

"Come on, doc. This one is much more comfortable." He had brought me a recliner, obviously from the hospital. I didn't know how long I was out, but it must have been a number.

"I took Bass home with me," he whispered. I stared towards the floor. I had totally forgotten that Bass was still down in the lab. "If you can give me a key I take care of Jo too."

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat unbearable. I cleared my throat three times before I was able to at least rasp an answer. "My purse and keys are in my office."

"Okay. I drive back to the precinct and get your things. Do you need anything from home?"

"There is an emergency back in the trunk of my car," as he was about to turn around I grabbed his hand. "Thank you."

He smiled, sadly and left. I pulled the new chair beside Jane's bed, so that my face was turned towards hers. I sat down, pulled the blanket over me, let myself sink back and my hand returned back to its place on Jane's thigh.

There were no more tears left for the moment, only emptiness and coldness.

Coldness! I never thought it was possible to feel coldly with Jane in the same room.

"_Your hands are so much better than a hot-water bag," I whispered into the darkness._

_Jane nuzzled her nose into my hair. "Turn around," she also whispered. As I did she turned around herself, now me being the big spoon. _

"_Scoot down a little and press your belly to my butt. The pressure and the warmth is incredible helpful. I discovered it the first time I got my menstruation while we are a couple."_

_I did as she told me and she was right. I never had much problem but the first night was always unpleasant. But like she said, the pressure was taking away the dragging pain and her usually hot body temperature soothing the tense muscles._

"_Thank you," I whispered and Jane laughed._

"_What for? For being your living hot-water bag?"_

"_For everything. For being my pillow, my heater, my hot-water bag, my protector, my lifeline, my heart, my soul. For being you and for loving me for being me."_

_She brought her hand over mine on her abdomen. "I love you too, Maura. Very, very much."_

A small smile hushed for a second across my features. Sometimes, after all those month, I still hardly could believe that she is mine, mine alone and that I am privileged to experience the whole fascinating elemental force that is Jane Rizzoli.

I saw her crying, grieving, nearly breaking, fighting, physically and emotionally. Saw her struggling, fearing, worrying, caring. But nothing compares to the force she love with. You can literally feel it in the air. Static electricity. And it feels like heaven to be at the receiving end of it.

Her eyes are my favourite part of her, always. They can tell you everything. I never thought it was possible to tell so much with using your eyes only. Her eyes can threat and intimidate and scare. I have seen suspects, murders breaking under her gaze. They can laugh and joke and grin. They can show exactly how annoyed she is. They love and care and respect.

They are melting me every time. We communicate with glances, we love with them. Sometimes she looks at me like she's starving and I am the last eatable thing on earth.

_Jane is standing behind me, watching me, finishing my night routine, applying my moisturizing cream. Our eyes meet in the mirror and I stop immediately doing what I was doing, holding her glance. It is one of her looks that makes me shivering, let goose bumps erupting all over my skin and I can feel myself getting wetter by every second passing. _

_I never can break a gaze like that. It is like suppressing a sneeze or an orgasm. It won't work, however hard you try to. _

_She moves closer towards me, feeling her breath on my neck._

"_Frost told me last week that he's jealous. That we are having more and better sex with our eyes than he had for real in his entire life," she whispered hot against my right ear._

Another small and short smile hushed over my face.

During the case at the 'Merch' we had decided to tell the rest of Jane's family and her partners about our relationship.

_I sat in the lab finishing the last DNA-swab from the collected glasses as Jane burst through the door._

"_You'll never going to believe me what I just overheard. They have a damn bet running about you and me."_

"_A bet?"_

"_Yes. I was walking over to the van and I think they thought my mic was off. They were talking about us. Frost said something like 'How can two people be so smart and yet so blind' and Korsak answered 'I tell you again, kiddo. They are a couple already or they just…you know' Can you believe that?"_

_She sat down on the table beside me. "Are we that obviously?"_

"_I don't know," I answered smiling. "But how about we don't tell them and turning up the heat a little more instead?"_

_Jane watched me for a moment. "You know what, that's a great idea but how are we doing this without being to obviously?"_

_I got up from my chair and started processing the DNA extracting and after that I turned back to Jane, invading her personal space with standing between her legs and bending slightly forward to her._

"_Oh there is so much we can do. We can stand a little closer." I took another small step, being as near as I could get without actually touching her._

"_We can hold our glances a little longer," I connected my eyes with hers._

"_We can touch a little more and longer than usually," I put my hands onto her shoulders and grazed my fingertips along her neck._

_I bent my head down, my lips to her left ear. "We can whisper a lot more." I kissed her jaw._

"_That would totally give us away," she giggled._

"_The kiss was out of sequence. Because I just can't pass the opportunity…" I kissed her lips gently but passionate. "Being all alone down here with you in the middle of the night."_

"_We are not alone, there are enough people upstairs," she whispered hoarsely. The air in the room was getting thicker and we were both aware that it was already a lost battle to fight._

"_I am very well aware of this, but until there is a call to a crime scene the lab and the morgue are unoccupied." I whispered back, grabbing the lapels of her jacket. _

"_We agreed not to do anything like that at work," a last attempt to stop what would happen next._

"_I am very well aware of this too, but watching all of these women touching you and flirting with you and knowing I am the lucky one you are going home with…" I took her hands and placed them directly on my breasts under my unbuttoned lab-coat. _

"_And I am very well aware of you being as much as turned on as me. I was turned on the moment I saw my attire for tonight, knowing you would look and you did." I bent down a little further, lowering my voice even more._

"_As you made eye contact after I bent down in front of you I had to restrain myself not to come right there. You have no idea what your eyes can do to me."_

_Before I knew what was happening our roles were reversed. She was standing between my legs, lowering me down to the table._

"_And you have no idea what your voice does to me," she hissed. I let my right index finger slowly sliding down her zipper._

"_If it is nearly the same your voice does to me I might have an idea about that," sliding up the same path._

"_You should be soaked right now," down again._

"_I am."_

"_Me too and I think you should do something about that right now…," before I could end my sentence I had already forgotten what I was about to say. She had moved my thong aside and two of her gracious fingers started stroking tenderly through the mount of wetness._

_My left fingers desperately fumbled open her button and zipper and without hesitation my hand was in her panties. Fast her breathing was matching mine frenzied one. It was rare that we got directly on it. Both of use loving too much the body and skin contact, the long and tender kisses, sharing kindness and affections._

_Enjoying the so called 'foreplay' so much more as 'the act' itself. It would be frustrating after all as it was nearly impossible for me to hold on longer than a minute when she touched the right places. _

_A long-drawn-out moan escaped my lips as she slowly entered me with her two fingers and I could already feel my muscles tensing up. She helped me getting her equally worked up, moving her hip against my hand. _

_We were getting better at using our non-dominant hands but having hardly space to move inside her panties didn't make it easier._

_But we weren't hardly 'Boston's perfect team' if some complications in the bedroom or on a lab table, in this particular case, would stop us._

_With Jane loving me I tend to be extremely loud and for the sake of still a last bit of professionalism I bit down hard onto my own wrist. Jane on the other hand wasn't really loud but neither silent. She usually moaned in a deep sound but in a whispering alike volume. _

_When she wasn't near my ears my voice would drown hers but always I could feel the vibrating from her sound chasing through my body. _

_The grunting sound coming from me, given the fact my arm was in my mouth, would have embarrassed me in the past. We held our glance for a moment and broke out in a fit of laughter. Still inside each other it was a hilarious atmosphere. Both of us laughing hard, the aftermath of our climaxes still lingering and the small movements caused from giggling relighting the fire. _

Jane's first blood results in the early morning hours were fatal. Her WBC's were over the roof, her HGB were much to low and her way to high Hct was adding more worries to the whole state.

Her white blood cells were high because of her internal fight, maybe there was also an infection, that would have to keep under observation. Her red blood cells were probably so low because of the mount of blood she had lost what could also explain her high aspartate aminotransferase, but it could also been a result from her damaged liver. Her high hematocrit value could also arise from her damaged liver, and could possible result into a thrombosis.

She was fighting a high fever and violently shivering attacks. I was never ever more scared in my whole life, my blithe memory of our first encounter at work was long faded. Sitting there and watching all of it happening without being able to help made me angry. All my doctoral degrees, my knowledge, my education was futile, useless. Sitting there, only to watch her condition becoming aggravated.

"_Will I ever be able to hold my gun again?" she asked me whispering._

_I cupped her left cheek with my hand and she started to cry. _

_We new each other just for a little about a month, to be exactly fifty-four days including the eleven days between our first encounter in the café and the second in the morgue. I never saw her crying before. I never saw another Jane than the sarcastic, self confident, tough one. Except from that she was nice, humorous, chivalrous, but I never saw the vulnerable Jane._

_The first eleven days and nights I had mostly just the hots for her, as they say. I would wake up more than once a night desperately aroused. It was never as badly as with her. Sometimes a date of mine or a man I saw while jogging cursed a little sting, but it was mostly the thought about sex itself, stirring arousal. Never the person, until I met the prostitute without a name._

_I never wanted something or someone as much as I wanted her._

_Wanted to feel her fiercely eyes raking over my skin. Her perfect lips on every part of my body. Feeling her prominent chin between my teeth. Her strong hands cupping my bottom, my breasts, my face._

_Her long and lean fingers caressing me, driving me out of my mind. Her raw voice, even rougher from arousal, whispering to me._

_After our first lunch together another feeling was slowly invading me. I liked her, humanly. I wouldn't go as far as to say I loved her but I was falling and I was falling fast and hard._

_Sitting here, holding her falling apart in my arms I knew I was lost. In this moment I knew I was in love with her and I would swim the seven seas for her._

_Jane was in need of a friend and I would be her friend whatever it costs, even if it would mean ending up in the 'friend-department' forever. I pulled her into my arms and let her shed every tear that would escape._

_We got emotionally closer each and every day but to anyone beside me she refused to speak. I knew why she didn't want to talk to some other than me and it needed a threat to transfer her towards a __mental __ward__ from her doctor after nine days to cause a 'Jane Rizzoli outburst', __a __right __royal __dressing __down__._

"_What do you want me to say? That I was stupid, going down there without backup? That I was an idiot not watching my own back? That is was reckless to risk not only the life of that woman but mine as well and possible that of my partner, too? That I can be glad my partner saved my sorry ass? Or do you want me to say that I am scared to hell that I never ever can do my damn job again? That I never will be able to hold my gun again? That I can be grateful if I can wipe my own ass one day? Well there you have it and now please leave!"_

_She turned her face to me and smirked. "He totally fooled me, didn't he?"_

"_I think he did," I answered smiling before we both broke out into a fit of laughter._

Jane had overcome the worst nightmares, won against the worst monsters and now a microscopically small entity should break her. No. If it was necessary I would have to fly in the best physician you could possible get for money.

"_Korsak won't talk to me," she said slumping down into the chair in front of my desk._

_I watched her for some moments carefully. "Did you explain it to him?"_

"_What is there to explain? Hey Korsak, thank you for saving my ass but I can't work with you, because you saw me down there like a wreck." She was upset and her voice was higher than usually._

"_Jane," I lowered my voice to calm her down. "You aren't a wreck. You are the bravest and strongest person I have ever seen. You fought so hard to get your job back. You are back, two month later and you didn't let him take away your life. You should talk to Detective Korsak, I am sure he will understand it if you are honestly with him. You know him. Do you really think he will judge your feelings and fears? I don't think so." _

"_How can he probably trust me ever again?"_

"_How can he not? I would trust you. I trust you with my life and nothing that could happen would ever make me think otherwise."_

_She stared at me for a moment before she got up and walked towards the door. "I hope you remember your words when it happens, Maura. I truly hope so."_

The next incoming results confirmed a foudroyant, peracute, progrediant, manifest infection, a life-threatening one. High erythrocyte sedimentation rate, her C-reaktives Protein was over 200 mg/L, her leukocytes were over 45000µl. Administering broad-spectrum antibiotic, specifically amoxicillin there was only time, time to wait, time to hope, time to pray and time to take test after test and again time to sit tight and wait.

**Indefinitely**** I am only able to update once a week, probably on Saturdays. Because of the approaching summer I have more work and work-hours in front of me, further the absence of my beta forces me to work harder for lesser mistakes. Hope you stay with me, and as always thank you for sacrificing your time and bearing with me. Hope you all have a nice week. **

**rizzlesshipper4ever**


	25. 25 unexpected support

**Hi guys, girls, pals… So I have to move some things in the 'original story' **

**"****Rebel Without A Pause" has to happen earlier, bc I need Maura's parents – bc of changing Jane and Maura relationship to each other ****compared ****with**** the show.**

_Found this on FB and it really said what I thought… _

_I was so excited about Sasha on Ellen and a little more than slightly disappointed about her interview. _

_Five minutes and some... and they only talked about her mother-in-law? Come on... that was... I even don't know how to call it. I thought it would be a bit more about Sasha... she was the guest and not Sophia (yeah I like Sophia, but...) and who didn't expected for Ellen to go all badass about Rizzles and the not so subtle gayness of Maura and Jane and their TGTGT, but...it never happened. _

_So I asked myself an hour after watching it what happened there instead... it was great to see Sasha on Ellen, but I had hoped for...more/something different..._

_It seemed somehow Ellen were in bed wit 'beloved'JTam…pretending we're all dreaming…_

**Mistakes are on me ;) **

See Author's Note (Chapter one)

_**The next incoming results confirmed a foudroyant, peracute, progrediant, manifest infection, a life-threatening one. High erythrocyte sedimentation rate, her C-reaktives Protein was over 200 mg/L, her leukocytes were over 45000µl. Administering broad-spectrum antibiotic, specifically amoxicillin there was only time, time to wait, time to hope, time to pray and time to take test after test and again time to sit tight and wait.**_

Maura's POV

I never thought I could ever get that unprofessional. At seven this morning I got into a worse fight with Jane's day-nurse. She asked me in a harsh tone to leave the room while she would be changing the dressings and after refusing, it got a little heated, although little is way too understated.

After a five minutes long discussion, with arguing back and forth I threw 'the sentence of my life' at her.

"I already had my tongue in places you will never be going to touch with your fingers."

God! I am so relieved, glad and thankful for just a tiny moment that Jane didn't hear this. She would have probably killed me and for sure she is going to kill me when she wakes up after what I did a few minutes ago.

I didn't want it but I left her side for about ten minutes, asking Detective Korsak to stay with her. I called my mother and now her room is paid, turned into a private room and we got private nurses for day and night care from an agency. I know she will be furious with me but I am not in a state to manage constant fights about trivia.

Her trauma surgeon is kind of odd but he seems well professional but who I am to judge about his personality, I was called weird my whole life.

Jane's state wasn't getting any better. I permanently wiped her hot and sweaty face with a wet washcloth, could feel the heat radiating from her body through the duvet. Whispering all the time that I love her and that it would get better soon, maybe more trying to convince myself.

My emotional condition went from being afraid to crying, to numb, to angry, to helpless, to being worried. Back and forth. The feeling of having something under control, after speaking with my mother, wore off to fast for my own liking.

I was bent-forward, my head on Jane's hip, my hand constantly holding contact with her thigh as I felt a touch on my shoulder I would be able to feel out of a million touches. Not because it was particularly affectionate but for the simple reason that I had longed for his touch so often and had felt it so rare.

"Mom," she squeezed my shoulder and her thumb touched the skin on my neck slightly.

"What are you doing here, not that I don't like you being here but you said you were busy last week as I called you and…" I think I had started rambling because she lent down and kissed the top of my head.

"After I saw on the news what happened yesterday I got on a plane. I was already in Boston, on my way towards the hotel as you called me. There is no place I would rather be." Instead of saying anything I put my hand on top of hers and squeezed it thankful.

_We were standing in front of my parent's house in __Neuilly-sur-Seine in Paris. I took a firm hold on Jane's hand and laced our fingers together. She smiled at me and we kissed softly a last time before I rung the doorbell._

_My mother opened the door by herself and I was slightly confused. "Maura darling, why didn't you tell me Jane would accompany you." I was about to answer that I would explain it later further, as my father came into my eyesight. Arms widely spread and a whisper of 'mon chér' on his lips. _

_My father was rarely attendant but if he was, he was always more affectionate than my mother._

_*"__Papa, tu m'as manqué."  
_

"_I have missed you too, Maura."_

_After my mother had asked to extend the table setting for another place and the dinner was served I started to play nervously with my fork._

_If my parents were going to approve our relationship or not wouldn't change anything between Jane and me but after my mother and I had gotten 'better' it would possible hurt a lot if they wouldn't support us._

_I had played the whole scenario a thousand times in my head and even as my mother was an artist and had a lot of friends who where homo- or bisexual and the Isles-Foundation supporting a lot of societies, fighting for equality or integration, I was going to lose my courage._

"_Darling is there anything burdening you?" my mother asked and it was deathly silent for some moments, until my father laughed lightly, carefree. _

"_Constance darling, I think our daughter is weighting her options how to tell us that Jane and she are __a __pair __of __lovers__.__" _

_My jaw dropped instantly and I stared at him as he had lost his mind._

"_Seems the cat is out of the bag already," Jane stated dryly._

"_It seems so…," I stuttered._

_I looked over to Jane who smiled genuine, looked over to my father, down at my hands, back towards my father, opened my mouth, closed it again and stared back at my hands. The next time I opened my mouth only one word left my lips quietly. "How…?"_

_My father smiled smugly. "After your mother told my how Jane had given her a piece of her mind and how happy you seemed in her company, how much you had changed I told her either you were a couple or on the best way to become one."_

_I looked from him towards my mother and found only truly happiness on her face, for once I noticed even her eyes smiling at me. I was so much relieved and happy, just as happy as I ever could be I didn't even think a second about what my father had said. _

_Wait! A piece of her mind? I had already hypothesized that Jane had said something to my mother at her installation but I never assume anything and so I had dropped it quickly. But what my father had said confirmed my suspicion. I would have to ask my mother about that, later._

"_I assumed you would prefer to enjoy your privacy, so while we having dinner Pierre prepares the guesthouse for you both to stay," my mother said after her first bite of dessert. _

"_That's very thoughtful of you, mother. But Jane and I reserved a room at the Ritz."_

_I never wanted to stay in a hotel during our visit, but we both agreed that it would be better to be prepared in case my parents weren't content with our relationship. _

"_Well…I think I speak for your father as well when I say we would be happy for you to stay," there was an odd sound in the voice of my mother and suddenly I remembered how I had felt as she told me she had booked a room to stay while she was in Boston._

_I smiled at both of my parents. "We would love to stay."_

_Shortly after we retracted into the guesthouse our luggage were delivered and I had quickly unpacked everything while Jane opened a bottle of champagne waiting in a cooler on the living room table for us._

"_Thank you," I took the glass from Jane and smiled at her. "That went really well," sipping at the drink and placing it on the coffee table. The urge to kiss Jane, really kiss her was pressing. _

_We share three different kinds of kisses. _

_The peck, only used to connect with each other if someone is nearby. The only kiss we share when we are not alone. Not because we are ashamed to share our deeply running bond with others but we both agree that this kind of affection isn't one we like to share in public view._

_The work-kiss, never used in the bullpen but behind closed doors in my office. Used to hold the passion at bay but showing off love. A kiss that can last a few seconds or the full amount of our lunch time but never gets fiery. Sharing love and affection. This kiss can mean 'I missed you all morning', 'I know its being rough all day long but it will all be okay again', it can mean 'Thank you' and 'Hold on', it can mean 'I am proud of you' and 'I am sorry'._

_The 'one and only kiss', the one we share in private. The deep and feverish kind of kiss, the one that leaves me breathless and burning in every cell. The one that makes my brain useless, my knees weak and my heartbeat going crazy. It hasn't any rules. It can be slow or fast, soft or fiercely, affectionate or rough but it always consumes me. The 'one and only' isn't defined by how we kiss but by how it makes me feel. This kiss isn't Detective Rizzoli and Dr. Isles, not Jane and Maura. This kiss is just us, whole, an unison, deep pure love._

_Before we shared our first 'one and only' kiss at this night an idea or more of an impulsively fantasy crossed my mind and I had to fight not to forget it during the kissing. I grabbed the zipper on my back and slowly unzipped my dress._

_Pulling slowly away from Jane's lips I took small steps backwards, gently lowering the straps of my dress down my shoulders and arms. Wiggling my body, to help gravity to pull it over my breasts and hips, until it pooled around my feet. _

_Jane followed me like a panther its prey, same slowly steps,_ _delicately striding with her long legs, never letting go of our eye contact. Unbuttoning her shirt. _

_Stepping out of my dress, still taking only whispers of steps backwards I repeated the teasingly slow procedure with first my bra and then my panties, leaving me only in heels._

_Walking still backwards over to the pool I kicked off my Manolo Blahnik's and slowly walked down the steps into the water, completely nude. Jane loosened her slacks somewhere on the wooden deck, flinging her bra and cheeky panties behind her, following me, never picking up her pace._

_The day had been one of the hottest in Paris this July and even it was already dark the temperature hadn't really sunk down. The pool was much more like a lagoon, a stripe of palms, surrounded by a stone garden, blocking the view from the main house almost entirely. _

_The water was warmed by the sun and I slowed down with each step, waiting for Jane to catch up. As she was only an arm-length away from me I reached out and pulled her flushed against me._

_The moment our lips touched I jumped her, arms and legs around her body I clung at her so firmly if it wasn't for our different complexion you weren't able to locate where one ended and the other began. _

_Even as Jane was the one who was wearing the pants usually, and this idiom even I understand, we haven't any 'roles'. Even if Jane sometimes pretends jokingly to be more of 'the guy' it is just her natural to be a real tomboy than any role allocation. But I like being the girly girl, the one that got fulfilled every wish by her, being treated like a queen, like her queen._

_I am constantly turned on by her strength, her courage, her bravery, her protective instincts. I love it that she is taller than me and that I have to stand on my tiptoes, wearing no heels, to kiss her. I love her work-out steeled body that is although so different from any men's body, even if she can keep up with every one of them. I love her chivalrously behaviour, opening doors for me, reaching out for me to help me out of the car, her hand on the small of my back, pulling out a chair for me, helping me into my jacket or coat._

_I love being carried by her. She walked us slowly over to the right side of the pool and pressed my back gently against it. Seamlessly pressed together we kissed until my lungs were screaming in protest. Bodies sliding against each other as I shove my self up to catch my breath. The water swirling between us, as it found a gap, was heightening the sensation that was building up quickly. _

_I wouldn't quite declare myself as constantly horny notwithstanding that sex has a lot of benefits but only Jane could do that to me, without even exactly trying it. Sometimes it is a look or her voice or a move that makes me instantly hot and wet and willing. And there is no more shame about that, I am not even sure it was ever there, with her. We are only going without making love once a day if it is absolutely inevitable._

_Martha McClintock's study about synchronization of the menstrual cycle of women which are living together was often __heavily __criticized__ and compromised but__ I witnessed the changes in this researched field by myself. In seven month, we are practically living together, we are nearly timed perfectly. Jane will go first and I follow her within the scope of two days. So we are being sidelined for about six days in a row once a month._

The hand of my mother startled me. "Maura darling is there anything I can do?" I shook my head and felt the tears rose again. A lonely one made its way over my face.

"I wish I could. I wish I wasn't so useless, helpless. There is nothing else I can do than to sit here and wait. Nothing I learned is going to help her. She was always there and did everything she could to help me, to guide me, to support me and now I am doomed to be a spectator. For once I could be the one to help, to be useful and I can't."

"I am sure if she could hear you right now, she would give you a piece of her mind. You are not useless. I am myself not patience enough to wait for anything, but if you say there is nothing we can do than what already is been done, then there isn't and we can only wait. I am here, Maura. I am going to be here as long as it takes and your father is going to come as fast as he can get a plane out of Bolivia."

My mother took hold of both of my hands.

"Your Detective might not be the demure in person but she loves you unconditionally and very, very much and she pushed me just enough to accept that I lied myself into blindness. I am grateful she woke me up right in time to understand how much I hurt you and that it was someday maybe too late to ask for another chance."

"I can't live without her. I thought I was independent and I never needed anyone but she showed me how much I really missed. Not only what I missed out in life but also what I never knew I really needed. I always knew daddy and you loved me, on your own way. There were hundreds of men who desired to share my bed. But she is my once in a life and I don't know how to live without her anymore. If anything happens to her I am going to die, emotionally."

_She pushed me out of the water on the edge of the pool and jumped left beside me. Trying not the break our kiss making us both laugh. She was about to sink down to her left pulling me with her as I stopped her with both of my hands on her biceps._

"_No," I whispered into her ear. I let myself sink into the opposite direction and pulled her with me. Wrapping my legs around her, the insteps of my feet caressing the insides of her calves._

"_I want you up there. I want to feel your whole weight on top of me and your body between my legs. I want you close and I want to feel your __musculus gluteus maximus contract under my fingers and I want to leave imprints of my fingernails there." I smiled at her._

"_And I can't do that if you lie on…,"the rest of my words died in a moan as she rolled her hips once against my sex. She was holding herself up on her underarms, one on each side of my head. Her left hand was on the side of my face, my ear between her index and middle finger, her pinkie caressing my neck and her thumb stroking my lower lip. Her right hand was playing with my hair. _

_Her face was just mere inches away from mine and her eyes roamed over it. _

"_Jesus Maura, sometimes I just can't overcome how beautiful you are," she whispered._

"_You know you don't have to pretend to be nice. I am already naked and on my back," I whispered back, holding her gaze._

"_Aren't we romantic tonight, Dr. Isles." I love the way she whispers my title just as much as she loves it when I call her Detective._

"_We are. Always…," I breathed shivering. "Touch me please, Jane. Anywhere but just touch me." _

_Her right hand left my hair, her index finger came in contact with my lips and I kissed it once before it slid down to my chin over my throat to my sternum where our bodies touched. Taking a curve along the outside of my left breast it took its way down my side to my hipbone._

_She spread her fingers over my left buttock and pulled me closer to her initiating a deep and passionate kiss._

_Never particular an admirer of French kisses I found myself in love with Jane's tongue the first time she requested mine for a slow but sensual dance. Dreams except for nightmares are mostly pleasant but not even in my wildest dreams I ever suspected her to be that incredible in application of that particular muscle, despite the area. _

_Even if I tried I would never be able to forget the first time I came on her tongue. Jane is my first for nearly anything and she is going to be my first time outside._

_I spread the fingers of both of my hands over her buttocks and my thumbs pressed on her hipbones, lifting her slightly and pulling my right leg between hers. Pressing my foot flat to the ground her sex came in contact with the junction between my thigh and my pelvis._

_Starting to move slightly underneath her I felt the hard ground against my skin. I wasn't one for sex with 'battle wounds' as Jane called them but sometimes I left some bite or scratch marks on her and tomorrow I would be the one marked. Marked from the raw surface of the paving rubbing and scraping against the skin of my backside, but I would wear and bear them with pride._

_I ran my fingertip over her backside, I could blindly draw a picture of her. Knowing every inch of her like my own, feeling the twitches of muscles I touched, rising goose bumps under my caresses, sensing shivers triggered from my strokes. _

_I never could pin the feeling down that flooded me every time I caused her body to react. Pride, relief, gladness, happiness, relaxation, joy, pleasure, satisfaction,_ _delight, passion, lust, love. Not one of it itself was doing any justice but combined it could come close to my sensation._

_This night brought another first with it. For the first time sleeping with Jane I didn't exactly know what I wanted, what I needed. Without realizing I was tensed through the whole day, not knowing what to expect from my parents and I needed Jane like I needed air to breath. I wanted everything at once. I wanted to share sweet and gentle love, I wanted it to go on for hours but a small part of me wanted her to take me, claim me, fuck me._

_I would leave the decision to Jane, she always knew how to read me and never left anything for me to request. _

_The sound of splashing water mixed with a moan, as my flat hand slammed down on the liquid surface the moment Jane rolled her hip again, causing her thigh to move against me. She started a slow paced, steady rhythm, rolling her hip and tensing her muscles between my own legs._

"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory," my mother whispered beside me and I did something I haven't done since I turned five. My head tilt to the left side and came to rest on my mothers shoulder and without hesitation her cheek pressed to my forehead.

_I walked barefoot over the grass and the terrace leading towards the house of my parents, rounding the corner and walked into the kitchen from outside. My mother had send the staff away, knowing I didn't like it in the rare occasion we were together as a family and was now standing in a robe at the counter sipping a cup of coffee. Smiling about the even more of rarer sight of my mother not put together like the president would walk in any minute I joined her._

"_Good morning, darling," she smiled at me. "Tea or coffee?"_

"_Good morning mother, I prefer coffee in the morning since I was in college," it wasn't my intention to hurt her with my comment but I saw a sad expression slipping over her face for a split second._

_While she started to work on a cup for me I mustered up the courage to ask the question I had wanted to ask her since dinner. _

"_What did Jane say to you at your installation?"_

"_Maybe you should ask Jane," she answered without looking towards me._

"_She won't tell me if I ask."_

"_Maybe then it is not a good idea if I would answer this question."_

"_She would tell me. It is not that she would have it to be a secret, she's just to humble to tell or brag about something like that. She would never tell that she stood up or defended me. I know she does, I patched her up several times," my face scrunched at the thought of Jane injured because of me._

_My mother looked at me silently for some moments. "Well it's a good thing I only received the verbal version of your Detective," she laughed. _

"_Well… she made it very clear that my behaviour had hurt you and that she wasn't going to let that happen ever again and she opened my eyes that no one was ever too old to be a parent or a child. She showed me that regardless of how successful, educated or independent you are you never stopped reaching out for me and it made me sad that someone I met for the first time had the courage to face me and showed me how terrible I, we failed you."_

"_You don't…,"I started but my mother cut me off quickly._

"_Don't Maura. She was right and I was too. We failed you, terrible. We were caught up in our own life's. We took that small, smart, cute little blond girl with those amazing, inquisitive eyes for guarantee. You were so smart Maura and we thought it was a good thing to let you be independent, but we were wrong. God we were so wrong."_

_She took hold of both of my hands._

"_I should be having kissing you goodnight, sitting by your side when you were sick, listening to all you had want to tell me. We were so proud of you, we are but for the wrong reasons. I know every one of your grades, every thing you accomplished but I don't know all the things a mother should know."_

_She took a deep breath._

"_I don't know the name of the one you kissed for the first time. I don't know if it was a boy or a girl. I don't know any of your friends. I don't know when you were in love for the first time. Hell, I didn't even ask why you and Garrett broke off or if you needed someone to talk about. I was the worst mother I could ever turn out and I tried to make up my lack of relationship to you with money."_

_I just started to laugh. _

"_Language, mother! My first kiss was my first date, it was a boy, his name was Jake and never saw him again. I was eighteen and the first time I fell in love was with Garrett or I thought so. I can't really answer that because love should be unconditionally, like the one I share with Jane. It wasn't and that's the reason I broke off with Garrett, I wasn't willing to gave up myself to be his wife and I wish you had called me and had told me everything would be fine again. I wish I could have cuddled with you under a blanket, eat an unbelievable amount of chocolate and watch stupid films and could have cried onto your shoulder. But I love you both regardless of everything that could have been different or better."_

_Everything said and done I just ignored the heaviness of our words and asked her about both their plans for the near future. We talked fifteen minutes about hers and my fathers work and next projects._

"_May I ask you something?"_

"_There is no need to ask for permission," I stated._

"_Does she makes you happy, I mean really happy?"_

"_Yes she does. She makes me laugh all the time. She makes me forget however emotional our workday was. She makes me feel home and loved and worthy and equal. She does everything for me before I even know I need it."_

_My mother seemed very happy about my answer._

"_May I…," I looked her directly into the eyes and she dropped her request to ask another question._

"_When did you discover that you were interested in both gender?"_

_I smiled genuine. "The second I laid my eyes onto a very sexy, very sassy and very impertinent Italian goddess dressed as a prostitute."_

_My mothers face went blank for a moment until it dawned her that I was speaking of Jane._

"_She was undercover, it was my first week at work and I didn't know she was a detective but I never felt something like that before. I never was attracted to someone so instantly and so intense."_

"_Well you could have done worse," my mother laughed. "She is quite a piece of art."_

"_Yes and you haven't seen her…" I bit my lower lip. Over-sharing Maura, how often has Jane told you to think before you talk?_

"_Well it is a blessing to meet someone who is capable to keep you satisfied in addition to all the other benefits. She does, doesn't she?"_

"_Are you ready to have 'the talk' with me, Mom?" I asked her grinning._

"_I am not sure, am I?" Her face showed a shy grin, something I saw never happened before._

"_I don't know, but I can assure you there is nothing to complain about, au contraire."_

_There was the shy smile again._

"_Maybe this should be awkward or something but if we want to move on with each other feel free to ask whatever you want, anytime. Maybe it is far less uncomplicated as we skipped the puberal-phase years ago."_

_I took hold on my cup and walked outside, sitting down on the wooden bench staring over to the guesthouse. My sight felt onto the pool as my mother sat down beside me._

"_You two made an extensive use of it last night."_

"_Mhhh," I hummed absent-minded and as I realized what she had said my head snapped towards her. _

_She patted my knee with her hand, smiling. "Don't worry I was young once too and I didn't see anything."_

_That better was the truth. I am not prude but having my parents witnessing isn't one of the things I like to happen._

_-I had to make a significant effort to be as silent as possible. Not an easy task as we both gently swayed in direction of oblivion. My head was pressed into my nape and my back arched. I tried to hold my breath in attempt to keep myself quiet. My fingernails dug into Jane's sides and she hissed between low moans. _

_She was only seconds away from her climax and the thought of that made it impossible to hold my breath anymore. I growled heavy as my lungs let go of the air I was saving much too long._

_I clung myself harder at Jane._

"_Let go, baby," I whispered, kissing her neck. Hearing her type of moans change did it for me as well. I wasn't as silent as I liked to be but also not as loud as I used to be. _

_I am not a screamer but my 'normal' volume is much too loud for a deserted, deathly quiet property in the middle of the night. _

_Jane finds it kind of funny that I moan loud, not at the top of my lungs but loud enough, but her name or other things I tend to whisper. I can't explain why that is so nor does it bother me much._

_My climax wasn't less satisfying as any other I had with Jane but I found myself starving for her. I never can get enough of her, emotionally but on some nights this also applies for my physical need for Jane. _

_I don't know how she does it but she knows it, she knows always._

_She slipped into the water, grabbed my legs and turned me towards her. My bottom touched the edge of the water, leaned back on my hands she pulled my feet onto each one of her shoulders. Fingers on my sides, her thumbs stroking tenderly over my hard nipples she wasted no time and dipped her tongue deep into me. _

_The rebound was spectacular. The muscles in my arms were hurting violently from the effort to keep my shaking body upright as my orgasm hit me to the point. She pulled out immediately and the moment my climax begun to fade she kissed my clit once and it started all over again and again. _

_I lost counting after the fifth time and it could have been easily ten or fifteen or even more times she repeated it. At some point she stopped, heaving herself half out of the water, her pelvis pressing between my legs she kissed me deeply. Softly sucking and licking all over my skin she was going for another one as I had calmed down completely._

_This time she helped me flat to the ground, the back of my thighs on her shoulders, her hands holding my shoulder blades. She pulled out all the stops to make it worth that I would sense every muscle for the next week. Although it was unnecessary, as every kiss of her was worth the most worse pain._

_She did her wonderful magic. To keep me in balance between arousal, anticipation and climax and it is the most enjoyable thing anyone has ever done to me. There is never this moment where you think it will be hurting you physically if you don't come anytime soon. _

_The whole experience is like cuddling back into your blanket for another ten minutes, diving into the well deserved hot bath, like milk with honey or the piece of chocolate melting in your mouth you craved a whole day long._

_I pulled her on top of me and stole a well deserved kiss from her. Long and deep, gentle and tender. I didn't need another orgasm, all I needed was Jane's skin on mine as close as possible.-_

_My mother closed her fingers around my knee and leaned into me. "You better hold onto her as tight as you can, there is only such a small chance to find the one that makes you whole."_

I didn't realize how much time had went by but as Frank slid into the room I knew I was daydreaming for nearly two hours. That was their constant rhythm, every two hours Frank would come, bring a coffee and something to eat for me, in order from Angela. He would stay for ten minutes and then he would take a turn with Angela, who stayed for half an hour before returning to Frankie's room next door.

Jane's condition was the same as the whole night and morning. Not better but also not worse.

_*__Papa, tu m'as manqué. – Daddy, I have missed you_

**Thank you for reading, reviews would be nice. Maybe any suggestions or ideas? **

**Have a nice week.**

**Rizzlesshipper4ever. **


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